SmollMushroom
send N pls
- Sep 27, 2023
- 405
Preface: I suffer from anxiety so many of my dreams are like this. This is a dream.
I was sitting in class right before a school test. Of course I wasn't really prepared for it, and was sitting in one of the desks in the back.
Every student was sitting at their own desk, aside from some classmates that were assigned with the job of distribuiting the tests along the desks by the teacher.
Note: back in my days, every test was slightly different from one another, this was to prevent students from copying. But this also came with the side effect that some tests were unavoidably a bit more difficult than others.
So here comes my classmate, he stands still in front of me, watching and examining the pile of tests he is holding, and after about 10-15 seconds he picks one and puts it on my desk.
Me being me, I call them out for that, accusing my classmate of cherry-picking one of the hardest tests for me.
So the teacher intervenes, and starts a whole fucking investigation to understand what actually happened.
He questions me, then he questions the classmates next to me, but obviously nobody have seen anything but me.
And all I could say was that he picked one of the hardest tests for me, so that he and his friends could have the easier ones.
After some more questioning, the teacher takes a step back from where I was sitting and says: "Umph, that asshole"
At that point I was glad he understood the situation and felt a bit relieved.
The teacher then moved to the blackboard and started writing something on it. (You know how dreams are, not everything makes sense...)
But while he's doing that, the classmate on my right turns to me and says with a smile: "Dude, he was just picking one at random" - refering to the guy distributing the tests.
"Yeah, right!", I answer with a sarcastic smirk.
But exactly in that moment the teacher sees me, and ask me all serious: "Are you having fun, Mr [insert my surname]"?
After that he walks through all the class and approaches me and says: "You should be ashamed for your behaviour, making false accusations towards a kid when you are 35!"
So after that the teacher walks back to the board.
And while I feel like shit and I'm super frustrated, the kid who was giving the tests screams from the desk in front of the class, tears in his eyes: "I just wanted to be your friend!"
To which I responded with a heartly: "OOH, FUCK OFF!"
At that point I woke up pissed af.
I hate my dreams.
Funny how I turn, from being a teen to a 35 years old at the most inconvinient time. AND I'M NOT EVEN REMOTELY 35 YET WTF, BRAIN! T.T
MY ANALYSIS:
My analysis is that I always feel like I can never trust anyone and that everyone is against me. It really sucks.
But i think this defensive mechanism triggered after I've been exploited, manipulated and bullied a huge amount of times during my life, especially when I was at school, that's why I'm now so on the defensive...
It also showed that I have 0 social skills. All I should have said was that the kid stood in front of me for 15 seconds before giving me a test (but I didn't - I immediately accused them to the teacher of giving me a hard test, without any proof). If I would have said that other thing, he would have looked way more suspicious, and I less of a paranoid idiot.
Not to mention the ending, where they even managed to look like the hero, wanting to give me an easy test and wanting to be my friend, and I end up as the villain.
Conclusion:
I don't know if I'll be ever able to really trust people again.
In any case I'm open to more interpretations.
I was sitting in class right before a school test. Of course I wasn't really prepared for it, and was sitting in one of the desks in the back.
Every student was sitting at their own desk, aside from some classmates that were assigned with the job of distribuiting the tests along the desks by the teacher.
Note: back in my days, every test was slightly different from one another, this was to prevent students from copying. But this also came with the side effect that some tests were unavoidably a bit more difficult than others.
So here comes my classmate, he stands still in front of me, watching and examining the pile of tests he is holding, and after about 10-15 seconds he picks one and puts it on my desk.
Me being me, I call them out for that, accusing my classmate of cherry-picking one of the hardest tests for me.
So the teacher intervenes, and starts a whole fucking investigation to understand what actually happened.
He questions me, then he questions the classmates next to me, but obviously nobody have seen anything but me.
And all I could say was that he picked one of the hardest tests for me, so that he and his friends could have the easier ones.
After some more questioning, the teacher takes a step back from where I was sitting and says: "Umph, that asshole"
At that point I was glad he understood the situation and felt a bit relieved.
The teacher then moved to the blackboard and started writing something on it. (You know how dreams are, not everything makes sense...)
But while he's doing that, the classmate on my right turns to me and says with a smile: "Dude, he was just picking one at random" - refering to the guy distributing the tests.
"Yeah, right!", I answer with a sarcastic smirk.
But exactly in that moment the teacher sees me, and ask me all serious: "Are you having fun, Mr [insert my surname]"?
After that he walks through all the class and approaches me and says: "You should be ashamed for your behaviour, making false accusations towards a kid when you are 35!"
So after that the teacher walks back to the board.
And while I feel like shit and I'm super frustrated, the kid who was giving the tests screams from the desk in front of the class, tears in his eyes: "I just wanted to be your friend!"
To which I responded with a heartly: "OOH, FUCK OFF!"
At that point I woke up pissed af.
I hate my dreams.
Funny how I turn, from being a teen to a 35 years old at the most inconvinient time. AND I'M NOT EVEN REMOTELY 35 YET WTF, BRAIN! T.T
MY ANALYSIS:
My analysis is that I always feel like I can never trust anyone and that everyone is against me. It really sucks.
But i think this defensive mechanism triggered after I've been exploited, manipulated and bullied a huge amount of times during my life, especially when I was at school, that's why I'm now so on the defensive...
It also showed that I have 0 social skills. All I should have said was that the kid stood in front of me for 15 seconds before giving me a test (but I didn't - I immediately accused them to the teacher of giving me a hard test, without any proof). If I would have said that other thing, he would have looked way more suspicious, and I less of a paranoid idiot.
Not to mention the ending, where they even managed to look like the hero, wanting to give me an easy test and wanting to be my friend, and I end up as the villain.
Conclusion:
I don't know if I'll be ever able to really trust people again.
In any case I'm open to more interpretations.
