D
Deleted member 1496
Student
- Aug 2, 2018
- 183
During my therapy days, CBT was popular. Instead of years of talk therapy, CBT focused on my brain's "unhelpful thinking styles." If I were to recognize and correct my cognitive distortions, my negatives thoughts that prevent me from happiness would be minimized; happiness and hilarity ensue. I remember my therapists decided my problem and solution before my first session even finished. Is that the way CBT is or was?
Looking back, I think CBT was wrong for me. My therapists ignored or dismissed my family's (and anyone else's behavior), as if it was irrelevant, as if I was a complainer. But my past with my family was my present. No one, including my therapists, talked about going NC (no contact). If anything, they promoted the myth of good parents. It's not that I didn't have negative thoughts, but now I feel like that wasn't the *highest priority issue. Focusing on cognitive distortions was like trying to put out a fire but ignoring the fuel, heat, or oxygen sources. "I can't breathe because of the smoke" is answered by "Are you sure you're sitting up straight?"
After I quit therapy, a light began to glow these last few years. In my dad's home country, a couple strangers talked back to him. Whoa, maybe I'm not the problem; maybe my dad's an asshole. Then, my former best friend's spouse began to call her out at different times for lying to me, taking advantage of me, treating me like I didn't matter, etc. Whoa, maybe there's a legitimate, objective reason I feel sad. And when a person refused more help, saying he didn't want to take advantage of me, my internal reaction was "that's controllable?"
Anyway, outside of this forum, I feel like people think I'm a quitter or lazy because I don't try therapy again. But I see those decades as a waste of lots of time, money, and effort for me, especially given I can't talk about suicide, my insurance plan has limited therapists, and I'm old. Am I wrong for closing the book on therapy?
Looking back, I think CBT was wrong for me. My therapists ignored or dismissed my family's (and anyone else's behavior), as if it was irrelevant, as if I was a complainer. But my past with my family was my present. No one, including my therapists, talked about going NC (no contact). If anything, they promoted the myth of good parents. It's not that I didn't have negative thoughts, but now I feel like that wasn't the *highest priority issue. Focusing on cognitive distortions was like trying to put out a fire but ignoring the fuel, heat, or oxygen sources. "I can't breathe because of the smoke" is answered by "Are you sure you're sitting up straight?"
After I quit therapy, a light began to glow these last few years. In my dad's home country, a couple strangers talked back to him. Whoa, maybe I'm not the problem; maybe my dad's an asshole. Then, my former best friend's spouse began to call her out at different times for lying to me, taking advantage of me, treating me like I didn't matter, etc. Whoa, maybe there's a legitimate, objective reason I feel sad. And when a person refused more help, saying he didn't want to take advantage of me, my internal reaction was "that's controllable?"
Anyway, outside of this forum, I feel like people think I'm a quitter or lazy because I don't try therapy again. But I see those decades as a waste of lots of time, money, and effort for me, especially given I can't talk about suicide, my insurance plan has limited therapists, and I'm old. Am I wrong for closing the book on therapy?
Last edited: