I'm having weird thoughts. Everyone has weird thoughts, that's nothing new.
I watched, forced myself to watch, rather, @Miss clefable maybe-overdose on some lithium compound. Not sure how that'll work out. She's still vaguely operational as I'm writing this. Very sleepy, though.
And at that point I realized I'm comparing myself to her. I'm comparing myself to everyone on this site, and seeing that everyone has "adult problems", so to speak.
It's a social thing, I'm guessing. My therapist taught me a weird thing to do to "release myself from the situation" and "get perspective on the situation". It works when I'm on a morning walk, bombarded with auras and trying to keep myself in a nice, not-crazy-looking package so that people around don't feel a need to summon the white coats, but not so much here.
I'm getting this picture that I'm not fucked up enough to be here. All these "positivity clan" people with their mildly ominous "you're perfect just as you are right now" chanting are not helping. Knowing how fucked you are compared to your surroundings is important for a human's own self image, that's how you know who to mingle with.
It's either keppra or social anxiety speaking, maybe both, asking one question constantly: am I worthy to be here?
I watched, forced myself to watch, rather, @Miss clefable maybe-overdose on some lithium compound. Not sure how that'll work out. She's still vaguely operational as I'm writing this. Very sleepy, though.
And at that point I realized I'm comparing myself to her. I'm comparing myself to everyone on this site, and seeing that everyone has "adult problems", so to speak.
It's a social thing, I'm guessing. My therapist taught me a weird thing to do to "release myself from the situation" and "get perspective on the situation". It works when I'm on a morning walk, bombarded with auras and trying to keep myself in a nice, not-crazy-looking package so that people around don't feel a need to summon the white coats, but not so much here.
I'm getting this picture that I'm not fucked up enough to be here. All these "positivity clan" people with their mildly ominous "you're perfect just as you are right now" chanting are not helping. Knowing how fucked you are compared to your surroundings is important for a human's own self image, that's how you know who to mingle with.
It's either keppra or social anxiety speaking, maybe both, asking one question constantly: am I worthy to be here?
