Z

Zekirah

Here today, gone tomorrow
Sep 9, 2018
21
Anyone else suffer with and want to die because of ocd?
 
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Phro

Student
Sep 1, 2018
183
I have OCD. It is quite frustrating.
 
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Diane

Member
Sep 6, 2018
31
Anyone else suffer with and want to die because of ocd?


ME! I had a head injury which someone caused and have tried all possible medication options for it. ( they didn't do it on purpose, it was carelessness but they didn't care that it happened afterwards). me and my family tried getting Justice by due process of law and lost but I don't care about Justice anymore I just want peace). It'ss a RARE MONSTER version. The only thing that helps it is time released B12 but it doesn't do it enough for me to enjoy life but only enough for where I can focus on dying. If I was ever cured (which I never would be because medicine doesn't always help it-which it didn't for me, and people have even tried brain surgeries and brain implants and it did nothing sometimes and has high risks associated with that), I wouldn't be able to find a decent-paying job because it has made me stay out of work so many years so I coulfnt get a good one even if I went through vocational rehab. My disability check is not enough to create a decent standard of living. Also, shock treatment usually does nothing for it and that would never be an option for me anyway because that induces a seizure and I felt like I was going to have seizures after the head injury. The urges to do rituals ar still so intense (even with me on the B12 at times) that I have thoughts like I would KILL someone with my bare hands to get them to leave me alone to do them unless it was an emergency they were trying to tell me about (and your minds in a different mode when it's an emergency). Needless to say, an inpatient or enclosed setting would never be an option because some of the stuff I do would bother others and there would be nothing treatment wise they could do anyway. I also seem to have involuntary body movements that come on sometimes if I don't do the rituals right awayI . The medical community needs to do more research on this and find better treatments, but without reducing your senses since I actually have a phobia of desensitizing my taste buds as well as weird as that may sound. (My ocd alsoamakes me over worry and over analyzel things as far as this particular phobia goes- but it's like I CAN'T help it). This disorder makes it hard for me to clean and such I have to go back and clean and it makes it hard for me to do anything I can barely go out in public and do so only on rare occasions and I have to get my mind ready to do it. this also has me concerned because my family is getting older and their health is deteriorating and once my mother passes away I will have nobody. Knowthat you are not alone in any of your symptoms. I MUST avoid any kind of inpatient setting, and have even thougt about ways to commit suicide by cops if they ever tried to have me committed agaisnt my will. I feel that the only thing that insures my safety is IMMEDIATE and peaceful death. I am trying to get enough independence back where I can handle my bank account and such on my own to end my life. I probably won't be able to reply to you on a daily basis, but these are my circumstances as of now. Bestof luck and I hope you get peace whether it's in life or passing.
 
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Diane

Member
Sep 6, 2018
31
Over the count r stuff for OCD that MAY help:

Time released B12 (I take 4 1000mcg daily but pharmacist said they know it's safe at 5000 mcg but that was too much for me and it backfired with my OCD).

Inositol. I felt like crap on this

Milk thistle

Caffeine but you can get addicted to that and you build resistance and I can make you depressed after long periods of time because it wears out your brain's ability to make serotonin and dopamine

5HTP. I felt like total crap on it for some reason

St. John's Wort. It also helps depression but it made me feel like crap for some reason too but I am sensitive

you can also Google some other stuff that can help over the counter but you DO want to avoid excess amounts of the vitamin B9 which which is also called folic acid or folate because it can make it worse.
 
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Diane

Member
Sep 6, 2018
31
(and magnesium can help it).

Luvox, a prescription medicine for it (and it's one of the main ones FDA-approved to treat it here in the United States) can actually make it a WHOLE lotl worse and make you feel confused AND Agive you seizures as well too andsuch (which is in the literature about it even tho it is fda approved for it but doctors sometimes stillwont take you seriously about that just because it's FDA approved for it) so pay attention to your symptoms when taking anything for it and even if the doctor says it gets worse before it gets better be careful about that. Know your body because sometimes they don'tt take you seriously about stuff and you are nothing but lab results and text book material to them
 
D

Diane

Member
Sep 6, 2018
31
One LAST thing, if you have thoughts like you would KILL someone with your bare hands or even feeling like you would need to resort to violence to get someone to leave you alone to do your rituals, NEVER tell any medical professional that even if it's a psychologist or a therapist because they would have you committed against your will. Be careful about telling anyone that for that reason. And never tell them you are wanting to end your life too or anything that could be seen as a threat to you or someone else
 
Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
Anyone else suffer with and want to die because of ocd?
I'm on disability because of it. Ocd is Hell and so are all my other disorders.

I'm on Luvox. It helps reduce the ocd but it's still rough and it's never ending. Forming relationships is impossible because everyone just thinks I'm a weirdo
 
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midastic

Student
Sep 1, 2018
139
Anyone else suffer with and want to die because of ocd?

Yup OCD is hell and I'm on the path of doing bad in the last year of high school cuz of it.
 
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midastic

Student
Sep 1, 2018
139
If any of you guys btw wanna share/vent your OCD problems through PMs. I usually love to vent my OCD issues as well but doing it in a public forum just gives me anxiety.
 
D

Dean

Member
Sep 10, 2018
48
I have Body Dysmorphia which is a subset of OCD. It has made my life Hell.
 
D

Diane

Member
Sep 6, 2018
31
If any of you guys btw wanna share/vent your OCD problems through PMs. I usually love to vent my OCD issues as well but doing it in a public forum just gives me anxiety.

Just to let you know, I haven't gotten the ability to pm anyone yet because I'm still too new here but I will after a while. Luvox helps some people and it makes some people worse like it did me. For me the time released B12 at the said dose is the only thing that helped, it's better than the regular type of B12 because your body absorbs Time released more than the regular type. (It works better for me anyway).

When I get the ability to private message people, I will be able to respond to someone who has sent me a private message. But I'm wondering if anyone else has had psychic flashes with their OCD. I could never sit down and give anyone a reading, and you also don't know that its a flash until after it has happened. For example, you sometimes feel like something bad is going to happen if you don't do your rituals. I didn't get to finish one of my rituals and it did not feel right at all but what I felt like was going to happen was that me and one of my classmates got into an argument and he called me something that really upset me and and I had slapped him across the face. a few weeks later I'm moving to an apartment across from the same exact classmates mother. And the apartment letter is what we call them in high school. we never got into an argument I only saw one time when I was there, but it was just really creepy. (I had also had a nightmare that this cat we were close with had passed away 5 minutes before we got there to see her and that's exactly how it happened. I had had that nightmare when she was at the vet but had not even had the relapse of her condition yet). Sometimes people with OCD report stuff like this as well as pregnant women and people with ADHD. (But don't let that scare you out of doing therapy for it if you feel like you can do that because when I had a much milder version I didn't have stuff like this go on at least in regard to my rituals and feeling like something bad was going to happen if I didn't do them). It is pure satanic. just to let everyone know I'm using voice to text to type most of my messages here so if you read anything strange that's why
 
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midastic

Student
Sep 1, 2018
139
Just to let you know, I haven't gotten the ability to pm anyone yet because I'm still too new here but I will after a while. Luvox helps some people and it makes some people worse like it did me. For me the time released B12 at the said dose is the only thing that helped, it's better than the regular type of B12 because your body absorbs Time released more than the regular type. (It works better for me anyway).

When I get the ability to private message people, I will be able to respond to someone who has sent me a private message. But I'm wondering if anyone else has had psychic flashes with their OCD. I could never sit down and give anyone a reading, and you also don't know that its a flash until after it has happened. For example, you sometimes feel like something bad is going to happen if you don't do your rituals. I didn't get to finish one of my rituals and it did not feel right at all but what I felt like was going to happen was that me and one of my classmates got into an argument and he called me something that really upset me and and I had slapped him across the face. a few weeks later I'm moving to an apartment across from the same exact classmates mother. And the apartment letter is what we call them in high school. we never got into an argument I only saw one time when I was there, but it was just really creepy. (I had also had a nightmare that this cat we were close with had passed away 5 minutes before we got there to see her and that's exactly how it happened. I had had that nightmare when she was at the vet but had not even had the relapse of her condition yet). Sometimes people with OCD report stuff like this as well as pregnant women and people with ADHD. (But don't let that scare you out of doing therapy for it if you feel like you can do that because when I had a much milder version I didn't have stuff like this go on at least in regard to my rituals and feeling like something bad was going to happen if I didn't do them). It is pure satanic. just to let everyone know I'm using voice to text to type most of my messages here so if you read anything strange that's why

Yup I get those, I avoid certain numbers and letters. Only thing that's really not OCD for me is that I don't get crazy over cleanliness. I can be a trash hoarder. My OCD hurts me the most with thoughts that induce guilt and fear.
 

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