P

Parnate

Student
Dec 16, 2021
198
I am so obsessed with being that character that I have been daydreaming so much about. that today my real life feels very uncomfortable and unacceptable . Particularly on weekends , I have a good roommate who wants to go out, I have friends who are great and living, I could reach out to them for hanging out. But all my mind is consumed with is this ideal character and what life would be like, weekends would be like, festivities would be like were I him. It has been more than a year now and with the passage of time I am growing distant from my real life, from reality itself. I just don't want to or cannot accept this life I have. Yesterday night I was about to hang myself as I was unable to bear not being that character.
Any suggestions ideas to deal with this. I told my therapist about daydreaming and he said that it is a thought and you can't really not have thoughts.
My therapist doesn't know about me being suicidal as I am afraid I could lose the free therapy I am getting if I told him about that.
My therapy is free of cost thanks to free therapy program by my company.
 
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ForgottenAgain

ForgottenAgain

On the rollercoaster of sadness
Oct 17, 2023
919
I'm sorry you're going through that. I was reading your post and thinking that was a quite interesting situation to be in, albeit obviously painful. Like, you can imagine a life that it's worth living for you but your own life doesn't compare to that fantasy so it feels pointless to live it.

What are the most important things in your dream life that you don't have in your real life?
Or is it a matter of experiences in the dream life being more fulfilling or romanticized? E.g. a romance in the dream life being emotionally intense while in reality it is dull
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
3,295
Ha, that reminds me of when I got really into VLD and become completely obsessed with Keith. Still my favourite character from that show and has a special place in my heart. I honestly feel like this is a pretty common issue nowadays. I, personally, can say that I've had this happen to me on a few occasions in the past and it's even happening right now. If you are anything like me, eventually this will start dying down over time.
 
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cait_sith

cait_sith

Brain rotted, often missing word
Apr 8, 2024
169
What you described is something that is being referred to as "Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder" or MDD. There isn't much research on it but there is a subreddit about it with 120k members that might help you. They have resources in the pinned post https://www.reddit.com/r/MaladaptiveDreaming/s/ZZWMFkS3KQ

I suffer from this too. Do you also pace or do repedetive movements while daydreaming? I did this all my life and I don't think I will ever be able to stop.
 
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Mirrory Me

Mirrory Me

"Life's a mirror, but 'whose' mirror?"
Mar 23, 2023
1,063
One thing you could try is to is to draw that character, or buy a toy that resembles him/her.
 
alltoomuch2

alltoomuch2

Arcanist
Feb 10, 2024
482
This might help?
 
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consider

consider

My English is not good, sorry. Still learning.
Jul 23, 2023
33
Do you also pace or do repedetive movements while daydreaming?
I do this too! shocked. I've been doing it since I was a child. I think I'm just a freak so I never tell anyone about it and consider it a dissociative behavior. Thank you for the info. I haven't started researching it yet, but knowing what's wrong with me is kinda relief—just like when I first knew there is a thing called cptsd.
 
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P

Parnate

Student
Dec 16, 2021
198
What you described is something that is being referred to as "Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder" or MDD. There isn't much research on it but there is a subreddit about it with 120k members that might help you. They have resources in the pinned post https://www.reddit.com/r/MaladaptiveDreaming/s/ZZWMFkS3KQ

I suffer from this too. Do you also pace or do repedetive movements while daydreaming? I did this all my life and I don't think I will ever be able to stop.
I don't pace but act out and make expressions and sort of act histrionic
 
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D

Divinus

New Member
Oct 6, 2024
3
I suffer from this too. Do you also pace or do repedetive movements while daydreaming? I did this all my life and I don't think I will ever be able to stop.

I do the exact same thing! I've been doing this what feels like all my life. I usually spin around in my chair, walk around my room or completely idle.

The stories I've curated are endless, most if not all being about a 'better me' another 'me' that is not me. Which I consider to be the driving part in my suicidal ideation, my insecurities overwhelm me. I envy the person I dream of being, yet I feel like its impossible to ever be him.
 
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sevennn

sevennn

Arcanist
Sep 11, 2024
488
im killing myself for not just this reason but this is a big one. there's no point for me to live. my life will never be like i want it in my head. daydreaming has turned painful, i truly thought i could have it. now i'm writing my SN plan
 
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P

Parnate

Student
Dec 16, 2021
198
This might help?
Thanks for this will go through
 
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cait_sith

cait_sith

Brain rotted, often missing word
Apr 8, 2024
169
I do this too! shocked. I've been doing it since I was a child. I think I'm just a freak so I never tell anyone about it and consider it a dissociative behavior. Thank you for the info. I haven't started researching it yet, but knowing what's wrong with me is kinda relief—just like when I first knew there is a thing called cptsd.
Yeah, really happy my post brought you some relief. I thought I was the only one in the world who did that too until I made a forum post about it back in 2011 I think and someone pointed out there is a term for it. it was back when the "Maladaptive Daydream"-term just started to pop up in a psychologist paper, it was good to know that I wasn't the only one, but it was a throwback that it was said that's it's usually the result of coping with some kind of trauma, while I just did it since I could think as little child where there was zero trauma as far as I know. With age the contence of my daydream shifted, from me making up my own cartoons in my head to just dreaming about me being successful and liked, the creativity is sadly mostly gone.
 
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firewoodduck

firewoodduck

Member
Oct 23, 2024
10
Other people have alr motioned its called maladaptive daydreaming. I have it also and it does eat up a bunch of my time, even when I'm at school or work I'm looking for repetitive motions innocuous enough so I can daydream such as walking or sorting things. You are fs not alone in this :)
 
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