Smilla

Smilla

Visionary
Apr 30, 2018
2,549
One of the main reasons I am stll here is because I have some messes to clean up—bills to pay, condo needs to be cleaned etc.

Trouble is I have zero energy and am barely functioning.

How much am I obligated to clean up? I don't know how much more I can take, each day becomes that much more unbearable.
 
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Death_From_Above

Death_From_Above

Student
Aug 25, 2018
115
Once you CTB, you have no more obligations.

There will always be cleanup, so don't worry about it. The second law of thermodynamics applies to obligations too
 
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Ashpac

Ashpac

Lost and always will be.
Jul 22, 2018
795
One of the main reasons I am stll here is because I have some messes to clean up—bills to pay, condo needs to be cleaned etc.

Trouble is I have zero energy and am barely functioning.

How much am I obligated to clean up? I don't know how much more I can take, each day becomes that much more unbearable.

Same as me.

For me, I need to stay around until this personal loan is paid off, i was gonna let my family clean that mess up for me, but I dont wanna be remembered as the person who did that.

I know what you mean though, everyday is getting worse and worse, no smiling, no laughing and faking conversation when Im with my family. I think thats what drives me insane more, the pretending.

Only thing keeping me going is, knowing my final day is coming, I dont know when, but its getting closer and closer with each day that passes and that brings me joy.
 
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bigj75

bigj75

“From Knowledge springs power."
Sep 1, 2018
2,540
fuck all that. Once you are at where you are mentally obligations aren't something you can just get up and do. You need to not be depressed to be able to properly even do obligations. That's the fucked up part of it.

I remember a quote some successful guy said he would never let some one who is depressed do anything for him. Like he wouldnt let them cook his meal, wash his car, etc. He said because depressed people are not able to do the best job they could because their mind isn't on the job at hand its focused on wanting to die.
 
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Clover

Clover

Experienced
Aug 23, 2018
268
I have certain obligations and things I wish to fufill before I CTB.
I've been working my way through the list and am almost ready.
I will leave no debts, the hous clean and packed, a will, life insurance, have organised gifts for future birthdays and have taken steps to financially assist those I know are struggling. I don't want anyone to struggle due to my actions and I will be more at peace knowing that those I love will be ok - maybe not perfect - but that I've done the best I can.
I don't want to leave a mess for anyone else to have to fix. Everyone already has enough of their own problems to deal with.
 
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bigj75

bigj75

“From Knowledge springs power."
Sep 1, 2018
2,540
I have certain obligations and things I wish to fufill before I CTB.
I've been working my way through the list and am almost ready.
I will leave no debts, the hous clean and packed, a will, life insurance, have organised gifts for future birthdays and have taken steps to financially assist those I know are struggling. I don't want anyone to struggle due to my actions and I will be more at peace knowing that those I love will be ok - maybe not perfect - but that I've done the best I can.
I don't want to leave a mess for anyone else to have to fix. Everyone already has enough of their own problems to deal with.
I respect that. I understand. For me though my depression is so severe I lost my ability to function properly. There is no way I can pay off my obligations. Not because i don't want to. But because my depression is so severe it's impossible for me to get things done in a amount of time before my depression is too much to bare.
 
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Smilla

Smilla

Visionary
Apr 30, 2018
2,549
I respect that. I understand. For me though my depression is so severe I lost my ability to function properly. There is no way I can pay off my obligations. Not because i don't want to. But because my depression is so severe it's impossible for me to get things done in a amount of time before my depression is too much to bare.

I think I need to prioritize the tasks.

Cleaning out my condo might be too much—I've done some work on it but it's harder than hell.

I have a will. I'll pay off my bills. Otherwise I don't know how much more I can do.

My functional levels are abysmal also. I sympathize.
 
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