DeathIsTheWayOut99

DeathIsTheWayOut99

Warlock
Jun 6, 2020
798
my therapist told me of her positive experience with a nutritionist
My weight has always been hard for me to accept. Thanks to my dead mothers constant verbal abuse, I was put on harsh diets and was always reminded how ugly and fat I was.
Today, I am healthy in terms of blood pressure, sugar, etc. But my BMI is in obese category. I lost a few pounds on my own already, but I always see nothing but ugly and fat
I spoke ot my dad who told me how he honestly felt. That I am find as I am and that if I was ever unhealthy in his eyes (hes a nurse) he'd tell me
Despite all this, I wish I had my therapists determination. I wish I was skinnier than I am and nothing ever feels like enough
You might be thinking "well why not get a dietitian/nutritionist?" My BPD conflicts and makes me feel scared
Scared of change
Scared of having to give up sweets
fears of having to commit to something
Fears of feeling suicidal
Fears, so many fears.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: flatearth, CuddleHug and yuriko
N

noaccount

Enlightened
Oct 26, 2019
1,099
You do not have to give up sweets or anything else.
That kind of food-restricting logic that your mother abused you with is unfortunately very very common, to the point that it's normalized for women to get *surgery* to make it easier to starve themselves,
.... but you don't have to listen to it. you don't. I promise.

It's good you know your blood pressure / sugar and all are healthy. Those are really the important markers not BMI, which was invented first to estimate *rations needed for soldiers* and is really not a good measure of health. If you do decide to talk to a dietician I hope you can find a Health At Every Size trained one, but it doesn't sound like you even need that necessarily.

I still really don't think that you being hurt by other people's cruelty, is you having a personality disorder.
 
RealHumanBean

RealHumanBean

Student
Aug 8, 2020
102
A mistake that I see a lot of people make when they're unhappy with themselves is trying to revamp and change everything all at once. It's impossible to just flip a switch and start living a totally different way. Incremental change is what works. The weight came on slowly over time, and it will come off slowly over time.

A dietician can certainly help if you have no idea where to begin, but the methods themselves are quite simple. Portion control is incredibly effective. You don't have to go on a diet or change the food you eat, you just eat a little less. If you go back for 2nds, see if you can skip it sometimes. If you want some cookies, eat two instead of three. Ask yourself what amount you think you can be comfortable with, do that, and you'll see that even tiny bites add up over time. It's gradual, but since you are not making a huge change, it is accomplishable. I hope this helps
 
  • Like
Reactions: Deleted member 17949 and overcomingfear
Sinkinshyp

Sinkinshyp

Paragon
Sep 7, 2020
947
my therapist told me of her positive experience with a nutritionist
My weight has always been hard for me to accept. Thanks to my dead mothers constant verbal abuse, I was put on harsh diets and was always reminded how ugly and fat I was.
Today, I am healthy in terms of blood pressure, sugar, etc. But my BMI is in obese category. I lost a few pounds on my own already, but I always see nothing but ugly and fat
I spoke ot my dad who told me how he honestly felt. That I am find as I am and that if I was ever unhealthy in his eyes (hes a nurse) he'd tell me
Despite all this, I wish I had my therapists determination. I wish I was skinnier than I am and nothing ever feels like enough
You might be thinking "well why not get a dietitian/nutritionist?" My BPD conflicts and makes me feel scared
Scared of change
Scared of having to give up sweets
fears of having to commit to something
Fears of feeling suicidal
Fears, so many fears.
I'm so so sorry for what your mother has done. I'm a mom-well was... a mother is meant to love nurture and protect. Society has become so...twisted as far as making people feel inadequate because they don't look like this tv star or model. Dont compare yourself to anyone on tv models popular figures it's all make up and plastic surgery. It's all superficial. I'm glad your bp & sugars are good. Thats a great sign. If YOU want to lower your BMI for YOU and only YOU there are ways. Some exercises, walking, adding other foods like vegetables and fruits. Dont give up sweets. If you like sweets eat all the sweets you want. Your dad being a nurse would know. People are doing keto diets I don't know if it truly works though. DO NOT let society make you feel you are not good looking or fat because theres a ton of make up and plastic surgery in hollywood... my sis in law watches these videos of girls before and after make up tutorials. I am amazed what make up does. Maybe look at those and see what I am talking about. The before and after is like night and day.
 
  • Like
Reactions: shy
DeathIsTheWayOut99

DeathIsTheWayOut99

Warlock
Jun 6, 2020
798
Thank you all so much for the beautiful responses

I think I will definitely make it a habit to beat less portions and incorporate more physical exercise

I do want to point out about my mom. I am not excusing her abuse of me (even my dad admitted how my mom treated us was horrible) she herself was hard on herself. She starved herself, took a bunch of laxatives, and was always concerned of how people looked at her. From what I learned, she was abused a lot growing up and never felt happy with herself, No excuse but something to think about
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: RealHumanBean, shy and Sinkinshyp
Sinkinshyp

Sinkinshyp

Paragon
Sep 7, 2020
947
Thank you all so much for the beautiful responses

I think I will definitely make it a habit to beat less portions and incorporate more physical exercise

I do want to point out about my mom. I am not excusing her abuse of me (even my dad admitted how my mom treated us was horrible) she herself was hard on herself. She starved herself, took a bunch of laxatives, and was always concerned of how people looked at her. From what I learned, she was abused a lot growing up and never felt happy with herself, No excuse but something to think about

To be able to love others one must love themselves FIRST. I'm sorry your mom had issues. You sound like you understand WHY she had issues. My dad was in vietnam war it messed him up. He loved me and my brother more than life itself yet he was fast to throw a fist or tell us we were worthless garbage. I got some saving when he died when I was 15. When I was younger I tried to CTB on impulse because I really thought I was worthless garbage and I didn't know how to deal with the abuse. I became a single mom at 20. Only than was I able to look back at my childhood and see- my dad was a devoted parent he was just sick from war. If he had a chance to do it over I bet he would have been loving. I'm sure he never meant to hurt us. Yet the damage done is irreversible sometimes. Don't be body shamed. I know it's really hard when so depressed to do much. I sit in my bedroom unless I need to use the bathroom or get a drink. A walk every day is good exercise physically and mentally. Set a goal of I will walk x far 3x a week than increase it slowly.
 
DeathIsTheWayOut99

DeathIsTheWayOut99

Warlock
Jun 6, 2020
798
To be able to love others one must love themselves FIRST. I'm sorry your mom had issues. You sound like you understand WHY she had issues. My dad was in vietnam war it messed him up. He loved me and my brother more than life itself yet he was fast to throw a fist or tell us we were worthless garbage. I got some saving when he died when I was 15. When I was younger I tried to CTB on impulse because I really thought I was worthless garbage and I didn't know how to deal with the abuse. I became a single mom at 20. Only than was I able to look back at my childhood and see- my dad was a devoted parent he was just sick from war. If he had a chance to do it over I bet he would have been loving. I'm sure he never meant to hurt us. Yet the damage done is irreversible sometimes. Don't be body shamed. I know it's really hard when so depressed to do much. I sit in my bedroom unless I need to use the bathroom or get a drink. A walk every day is good exercise physically and mentally. Set a goal of I will walk x far 3x a week than increase it slowly.
There were moments when my mom felt like a mom. The time when she told me to leave those who didn't take my sexual assault seriously and that I deserved better friends. Times where she said I was honestly beautiful and times where she would take me to fun places. She did her best and I believe if she had gotten the help she needed she could have been an amazing mother. But, when she died when I was 21, I felt relieve. Sadness and grief, but also relief I didnt have to deal with her abuse.

I think today ill mostly relax since being back in school took the wind out of me lol. But I will def make healthier choices. Right now I am eating a bowl of homemade banana chocolate ice cream
 
  • Love
Reactions: Sinkinshyp
Sinkinshyp

Sinkinshyp

Paragon
Sep 7, 2020
947
There were moments when my mom felt like a mom. The time when she told me to leave those who didn't take my sexual assault seriously and that I deserved better friends. Times where she said I was honestly beautiful and times where she would take me to fun places. She did her best and I believe if she had gotten the help she needed she could have been an amazing mother. But, when she died when I was 21, I felt relieve. Sadness and grief, but also relief I didnt have to deal with her abuse.

I think today ill mostly relax since being back in school took the wind out of me lol. But I will def make healthier choices. Right now I am eating a bowl of homemade banana chocolate ice cream

As a mom this statement right here:" She did her best and I believe if she had gotten the help she needed she could have been an amazing mother." thats what counts. She did her best. I always say kids don't come with a handbook. We ALL make mistakes and have to figure things out as we go. As long as we do our best thats what counts. My dad died when I was 15- I felt relief. It wasn't until I became a mom that I could begin to look at him differently. Now I have sadness and love for him. Dang I want some homemade banana chocolate ice cream sounds yummy
 
DeathIsTheWayOut99

DeathIsTheWayOut99

Warlock
Jun 6, 2020
798
As a mom this statement right here:" She did her best and I believe if she had gotten the help she needed she could have been an amazing mother." thats what counts. She did her best. I always say kids don't come with a handbook. We ALL make mistakes and have to figure things out as we go. As long as we do our best thats what counts. My dad died when I was 15- I felt relief. It wasn't until I became a mom that I could begin to look at him differently. Now I have sadness and love for him. Dang I want some homemade banana chocolate ice cream sounds yummy
Its easy! Use 2 frozen bananas, 1/4 cup of milk, 1 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder, 1 tablespoon honey, and a pinch of salt. Use a blender (I use vitamin) and use the lowest setting. Use a spoon to push it down if it gets a bit stuck and in a few min you'll have ice cream!
 
  • Like
Reactions: noaccount
Sinkinshyp

Sinkinshyp

Paragon
Sep 7, 2020
947
Its easy! Use 2 frozen bananas, 1/4 cup of milk, 1 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder, 1 tablespoon honey, and a pinch of salt. Use a blender (I use vitamin) and use the lowest setting. Use a spoon to push it down if it gets a bit stuck and in a few min you'll have ice cream!
awesome thank you for sharing your recipe. I am 48 and never made ice cream. When I feed my monkey her dinner I'll put 2 bananas in the freezer. I'll try to make it tomorrow
 
DeathIsTheWayOut99

DeathIsTheWayOut99

Warlock
Jun 6, 2020
798
awesome thank you for sharing your recipe. I am 48 and never made ice cream. When I feed my monkey her dinner I'll put 2 bananas in the freezer. I'll try to make it tomorrow
Aw cool you have a money! I dont have pets but I love cats.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Sinkinshyp
Chupacabra 44

Chupacabra 44

If boredom were a CTB method, I would be long gone
Sep 13, 2020
710
I've read endlessly on nutrition and dietary interventions over these last 15 years. I've seen thousands of antidotal stories of what works and what doesn't for people, and I read books and studies on the topic. With respect to what seems to be a somewhat universal truth from my studies is that one needs to try and eat whole, unprocessed foods - fruits, veggies, meats/fish/seafood, eggs, dairy, legumes, nuts and seeds. Obviously, if your allergic to dairy, then don't eat it. You don't need to eat all this stuff from the list, but have those foods comprise the bulk of your diet. (It's 100% of my diet). Perhaps, you could try eating this way 80% of the time (old 80/20 rule)? Or, eat 100% like this Monday through Saturday and then have a cheat day on Sunday?

You will have no idea how potentially awesome you might feel getting off all those chemicals and garbage inside processed foods until you give it a try. I love talking diet and nutrition, if you have questions, let me know and perhaps I can help.

For myself, I lost about 60 pounds eating this way and have kept my weight lower for 15 years. Plus, I'm middle aged and unlike many of my peers, my BMI is in range - not sure I support the whole BMI idea.

Eating this way is kind of boring and frustrating initially, but over time your taste buds and cravings will change as your microbiome adapts to receiving nutritious foods.

Fyi, before in the grocery store, I could not walk down the cookie isle and see double stuff oreos without buying 3 packages and eating all three packages at once. I would start eating these the second I left the store. Now, I have zero desire to eat these - no cravings.

Figured I might need to tag you so you see this. @DeathIsTheWayOut99
 
mathieu

mathieu

Enlightened
Jun 5, 2019
1,090
I gained weight, to the point of obesity, after taking a medication called Zyprexa. I've now lost 30kg/66lbs of the weight I put on, with maybe 5kg/10lbs to go. Most of the weight I lost while drinking these meal replacement shakes called Optifast instead of food. You have 3 shakes a day, breakfast lunch and dinner plus some vegetables (although I'm skipping those for now). This way of losing weight has one problem. It doesn't teach you how to eat when you've reached your goal weight to maintain it. So that is step 2. But it works. You lose weight very fast. I also work out 3 x a week but you can still lose weight without exercise, it just helps maintain muscle mass.

Alternatively, one tool I think is sooo valuable is MyFitnessPal. It's an app that allows you to track nutrition, exercise and weight. It lets you know how close you are to your calorie goal for the day. Once you reach it you just stop eating till the next day.

regarding nutritionists, my mother is one, well a dietitian, and it has been great having her advice and support. I've never seen one formally but I'd say it can't hurt to try.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Chupacabra 44
Chupacabra 44

Chupacabra 44

If boredom were a CTB method, I would be long gone
Sep 13, 2020
710
I gained weight, to the point of obesity, after taking a medication called Zyprexa. I've now lost 30kg/66lbs of the weight I put on, with maybe 5kg/10lbs to go. Most of the weight I lost while drinking these meal replacement shakes called Optifast instead of food. You have 3 shakes a day, breakfast lunch and dinner plus some vegetables (although I'm skipping those for now). This way of losing weight has one problem. It doesn't teach you how to eat when you've reached your goal weight to maintain it. So that is step 2. But it works. You lose weight very fast. I also work out 3 x a week but you can still lose weight without exercise, it just helps maintain muscle mass.

Alternatively, one tool I think is sooo valuable is MyFitnessPal. It's an app that allows you to track nutrition, exercise and weight. It lets you know how close you are to your calorie goal for the day. Once you reach it you just stop eating till the next day.

regarding nutritionists, my mother is one, well a dietitian, and it has been great having her advice and support. I've never seen one formally but I'd say it can't hurt to try.


Very good insight! Nice that you're mom works in the field of nutrition and that she is able to help you. I too take Zyprexa, but now only take it prn (as needed). Before I switched to taking Zyprexa prn, I was gaining 10 pounds (4.5 kilograms) per month. I was able to lose the weight, but I concluded for myself that I probably would have kept gaining 10 pounds a month through perpetuity. Losing weight on Zyprexa is no easy task. Congratulations on all your hard work!

OP, I too used MyFitnessPal for a year or two, while I was learning about nutrition. I found MyFitnessPal to be extremely helpful to learn the nutritional profiles of any given food. I highly recommend one use MyFitnessPal or another highly regarded app when first learning the nuances about nutrition.
 

Similar threads

RosebyAnyName
Replies
1
Views
168
Recovery
Lostandlooking
L
D
Replies
16
Views
380
Suicide Discussion
Marco77
Marco77
D
Replies
8
Views
316
Suicide Discussion
Damian
D
kingfool316
Replies
1
Views
80
Suicide Discussion
FuneralCry
FuneralCry
complex
Replies
0
Views
75
Suicide Discussion
complex
complex