Venting Nparent Dying & I’m Crying

[Deleted member 1496]

sure, she was incorrigible, yelling at me a lot, should've never had kids, minimized my own needs & wants, so much was about her. But she lived a shitty childhood, and though very closed-minded, i think she cared in her own, selfishly & unselfishly dedicated, motherly ways. It's hard to see someone elderly slowly physically decaying on the inside; i have the medical photographs.

she's never really been happy. if she can qualify for right to die, at least she'll die quickly and have peace. The strange thing is that even before the illness was discovered, she knew this was it. I'm crying because she was still my mom.

I'm trying to handle her legal, medical, funeral, inheritance, physical, emotional issues, but it's so much. i'm cracking but trying to hold it together. and i know this isn't supposed to be about me, but I'm going to try and hold her while she's dying so she isn't dying alone or feel like her life was worthless. i do i wish i had someone holding me while I'm crying.

Thanks for listening.

 

[pole]

sure, she was incorrigible, yelling at me a lot, should've never had kids, minimized my own needs & wants, so much was about her. But she lived a shitty childhood, and though very closed-minded, i think she cared in her own, selfishly & unselfishly dedicated, motherly ways. It's hard to see someone elderly slowly physically decaying on the inside; i have the medical photographs.

she's never really been happy. if she can qualify for right to die, at least she'll die quickly and have peace. The strange thing is that even before the illness was discovered, she knew this was it. I'm crying because she was still my mom.

I'm trying to handle her legal, medical, funeral, inheritance, physical, emotional issues, but it's so much. i'm cracking but trying to hold it together. and i know this isn't supposed to be about me, but I'm going to try and hold her while she's dying so she isn't dying alone or feel like her life was worthless. i do i wish i had someone holding me while I'm crying.

Thanks for listening.

so sorry, thats tragic and heartbreaking. but ur definitely way stronger than me if i were in that situation, the fact that ur handling all of those things while going through such a thing and still holding urself together?? pure strength. truly amazing. is there anyone that can help u out with these things so it isnt too much of a burden on u? we can only take on so much emotionally and mentally. hope she goes in peace.

i definitely think theres some sort of motherly love, a love we might think is selfish? but in that type of love, it isnt entirely selfish for her sake, but for ur sake instead. doing things she didnt want u to do because SHE THOUGHT it wasnt right for u, thus caring for u even though it mightve not been the right thing you know? trust me i can relate a ton.

wish you the very best, u've got tremendous strength. and i wish her all the peace in the world

 

[Donewith_]

Its good that you are taking care of her.
I hope this will be a bit peaceful for your mother.
Its hard to go through that.. you have us here if you need emotional support.
I hope you can cope through this. Hugs.

 

[blanketyblk]

I'm so sorry to hear what your going though.. all you can do is taken it all on the chin. everyone deals with dying in there own way. some people lash out at everyone else. just try and be there as best you can. you only get one mother in this world and no matter how much you might like / dislike her. the world becomes a lot harder and colder when she isn't around.. something I'm still learning to deal with myself.

Hugs!

 

[reveriewong]

May this difficult time bring healing to you both.