Method Nowhere high enough!

[cadaver rabbit]

Something happened recently and I've been really dead set on ctb. (This isn't like a frivolous decision though, I pretty much always have intended to, I just feel it's more urgent now.) My initial thought was jumping, but the highest I can get is around 50 ft. I was initially thinking, okay I may survive, but at least I'll have tried, at least I won't be some pussy who always thinks about suicide but hasn't even attempted.

I thought I could do this but now I'm realizing I was stupid in thinking so. I don't think I have much SI but I have really paralyzing anxiety regarding most things. I have to be pretty drunk to get the courage to even speak to people. There's no way I could get myself to jump, knowing there's at least a 50% chance I'll survive and just have fucked up my life even worse, unless I could just turn off my brain somehow. I can picture my anxiety response now, I was just so passionate that my mind was clouded.

But there's nothing else I can do. I'm currently broke, low pain tolerance, etc. IS there anything else I can do? Jump in front of a semi? No trains near me unfortunately. What do you guys think? I really want to just get it done. I'm so sick of living. I hate being a coward who's only alive because of fear and simultaneously can't live because of fear (among other personality defects lol).

 

[Kattt]

A failed jump has to one of the worst to survive. Imagine the rest of your days as a paraplegic, with a high probability of incurring brain injuries too. You might not be capable of another attempt and it's hard to imagine many things worse than being completely dependent on others for the most basic of existence.

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly understand that it's so dreadful feeling trapped here, I really wish there's a straightforward way to just easily leave in peace. I don't really believe that one is cowardly if they struggle to go through with ctb as suicide is just so unnecessarily difficult, but anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you wish for.

 

[Division Day]

Yeah, it's definitely not worth risking jumping unless you're high enough to almost guarantee it. Our lives feel horrible now, but it could get even worse, and it's even harder or impossible to ctb if you're paralysed or brain damaged.

The rules are not keen on suggesting methods, so you're gonna have to look at the resource threads. Some of those are relatively low cost and high availability.

Don't throw yourself into traffic please. You have the same injury and survival risks as a low jump and you're also potentially hurting or killing someone else if they swerve or brake and cause a crash

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I honestly think that jumping from that height isn't going to work because the minimum recommended jumping height is 160 feet onto a hard surface.
I'd hate for you to fail and end up in a great deal of pain and crippled. I'm not spewing pro - life crap here, I'm just concerned.
There are plenty of alternative methods in the resources page that may help in your decision.

 

[cadaver rabbit]

A failed jump has to one of the worst to survive. Imagine the rest of your days as a paraplegic, with a high probability of incurring brain injuries too. You might not be capable of another attempt and it's hard to imagine many things worse than being completely dependent on others for the most basic of existence.

being completely dependent on others seems perfect for me. not everyone is the same. my biggest fear wrt surviving is just judgment from my family lol.

I honestly think that jumping from that height isn't going to work because the minimum recommended jumping height is 160 feet onto a hard surface.
I'd hate for you to fail and end up in a great deal of pain and crippled. I'm not spewing pro - life crap here, I'm just concerned.
There are plenty of alternative methods in the resources page that may help in your decision.

i know it can be fatal, because many people die from accidental falls. but it's ~50% shot.
i cant afford any of the alternatives atm.

 

[Kattt]

By dependent I mean you would need them to feed you, wipe your ass, dress you and all the rest

 

[cadaver rabbit]

By dependent I mean you would need them to feed you, wipe your ass, dress you and all the rest

yes, i know. not everyone is the same person as you.

 

[cadaver rabbit]

Wow! I was in a coma for a brief period and afterwards, I couldn't move, talk or even understand anything said to me. That got old really fast.
There used to be a chart, with the lethality in relation to the distance fallen and the surface type. But all I could find was this... hope it helps.
View attachment 122179

we are not the same person. it's weird how many people on this forum are intent on telling people what they want. i want info not commentary or critique. if i say i'm okay with something, even if it's stupid or irrational — believe me, you're not gonna change my mind.

anyways, like i said, people die from accidental falls at where i'm thinking all the time, so i know it's possible to die from it.