Not worth the pain?

[Felodese]

I really don't know if I can take the pain of so called recovery.
I've already been in pain my whole life, and now, in the hopes of some day maybe feeling better, I have to go through another hell on top of what I'm already dealing with?
I'm having more anxiety attacks and breakdowns than I can count - sometimes out of nowhere. The pain is so fucking intense that I'm punching myself and the walls just to make it stop. And I can't even remember when I last acted like this.
Is this supposed to be "healing" or "recovery"?
I can't deal with all this pain. I've already lost the one thing that might have made it worth trying - and the pain of that loss is still very much present.
I really just want to give up, cause I can't deal with it. I've had enough pain already. I just want it to end.

 

[Parnate]

I had almost given up but I have been trying various supplements and they do help. The first few ones were trial and error . But some have been very helpful. I am using phosphatidylserine and it is helping, it has been just a few days though.

 

[BrokeN__lil’__girl]

They say until you decide for yourself you don't want to be in this bad place you are anymore, it's not gonna change…. And I guess there's some grain of truth to it. But it's also true it's gonna be a painful process… and I haven't been through much but I myself can't seem to overcome the state that I am. I don't have people to support me emotionally irl and my future is bleak… so I think I understand where you're coming from…. So ultimately you really need to decide whether you wanna take this chance and go through this painful experience in hopes to have a better life or not…. It's an important decision…. Maybe there's something really good worth living for. Or maybe there's not…
Apologies if I'm not being helpful