Cold
Earthbound
- Aug 27, 2018
- 100
The rope is up.
The noose is tied.
The padding is placed.
The chair is in position.
I am sober.
I climb up, standing on the chair I gently place the noose around my neck. It is soft.
I am calm.
I pull down on the knot to make the rope tighter around my neck.
I can feel my blood flowing, pulsating like poison in my veins.
Deep breaths.
I lower myself, am I doing this right I wonder?
Needles in my lips and fingertips.
My vision is slowly fading and the sun is setting outside.
Through my windows I can just hear the first birds of spring.. they are singing... and they are so far away.
My mind is clear, there are no thougts, no images, nothing.
The world is shattering.
-
-
I realise that I am dying.
Quickly I stand back up, the world rebuilds itself in an instant.
My thoughts return.
Just outside my windows the birds are singing.
The sun is still setting.
No needles.
I look around, it's hazy.
This time I pull the knot up, loosening the rope.
I take the noose from my neck and sit down on the chair.
I feel very powerful. For a few moments everything was playing by my rules, I can end the game when I want to. I am in charge of powers enough to put an end to my whole universe.
Do I really want to do this right now? Today?
Is this the survival instinct?
I need to think. I don't want to, but I need to. More than ever.
Nothing feels real.
The noose is tied.
The padding is placed.
The chair is in position.
I am sober.
I climb up, standing on the chair I gently place the noose around my neck. It is soft.
I am calm.
I pull down on the knot to make the rope tighter around my neck.
I can feel my blood flowing, pulsating like poison in my veins.
Deep breaths.
I lower myself, am I doing this right I wonder?
Needles in my lips and fingertips.
My vision is slowly fading and the sun is setting outside.
Through my windows I can just hear the first birds of spring.. they are singing... and they are so far away.
My mind is clear, there are no thougts, no images, nothing.
The world is shattering.
-
-
I realise that I am dying.
Quickly I stand back up, the world rebuilds itself in an instant.
My thoughts return.
Just outside my windows the birds are singing.
The sun is still setting.
No needles.
I look around, it's hazy.
This time I pull the knot up, loosening the rope.
I take the noose from my neck and sit down on the chair.
I feel very powerful. For a few moments everything was playing by my rules, I can end the game when I want to. I am in charge of powers enough to put an end to my whole universe.
Do I really want to do this right now? Today?
Is this the survival instinct?
I need to think. I don't want to, but I need to. More than ever.
Nothing feels real.