Help Not sure where to go

[SeekingRelief]

I thought that finding this place was maybe a sign that I could finally find some peace, but...it feels like I just started another journey of pain in a way. I just want to sleep and enter a never ending dream. I'm just so tired.

I truly felt things were looking up in a way. I already had OTC antiemetic, antacids, and pain killers readily avaliable to me due to previous medications I had to take/pain from my cramps, but the 1 thing I need to finally just sleep was the SN.

I just want to go peaceful and not wake up. I don't want to make a fuss and I don't want to feel pain. Yet, being in the US, it's like I'm being punished for just wanting to sleep.

I've contributed nothing to society that matters anyway and that's not going to chance as I get older, so why does the world want to make it so hard for me to wipe myself clean from it?

Every time I think I've found a possible vendor for the SN and get even a glimmer of hope, I get hit with the "we'll only sale to businesses or laboratories, etc", and truly, I just can't understand it.

In my head, it's been that constant annoying mantra from the John F Kennedy. All of my fellow USA dwellers should know: "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."

Well, what I can do is make space for someone who actually would benefit society.

I just want to sleep...why is that so wrong?

 

[Forever Sleep]

I sympathise with you. I think so many of us feel trapped here because it's so difficult to access the more peaceful/ reliable methods.

I do get your argument from a logical, societal point of view. Why care about keeping people alive that don't contribute? I suppose they don't like to look that callous- that they're eager to kill off anyone who isn't useful. Plus, there's probably this idea that with more support, that person could find a way to contribute.

It would be kind of dangerous if it does start going that way also. People being pushed into suicide because they are undesirable to society. Benefits being withdrawn to ensure they end up wanting to suicide.

Plus, what about those who are more higher functioning. Tax paying suicidal people. We're not allowed to go because we're more useful? That's not fair either!

The only way I think it could really change though would be for our governments to legalise assisted suicide and regulate it.

I do understand why companies are careful in selling products they know are commonly used in suicides. From that companies point of view- why would they want to risk a possible law suit and bereaved families coming after them? The legitimate companies aren't actually purposefully creating products for people to suicide with. They likely don't want them being used for that. It probably doesn't do much for their image! We may not care about that but, why should they care to help us? They're simply a company trying to stay afloat.

Plus, there's the problem of minors- which- let's face it- is mostly what society worries about. Plus, mental capacity. Neither of which these companies are set up to assess properly. So, it's almost unreasonable in a way to expect these companies to help us die. That really needs to come from our governments.

In terms of SN, I assume the better bet is to find a source that knows it's selling something to suicide with but, does what it can to pretend it isn't. I think it's much harder now though.

 

[SeekingRelief]

I sympathise with you. I think so many of us feel trapped here because it's so difficult to access the more peaceful/ reliable methods.

I do get your argument from a logical, societal point of view. Why care about keeping people alive that don't contribute? I suppose they don't like to look that callous- that they're eager to kill off anyone who isn't useful. Plus, there's probably this idea that with more support, that person could find a way to contribute.

It would be kind of dangerous if it does start going that way also. People being pushed into suicide because they are undesirable to society. Benefits being withdrawn to ensure they end up wanting to suicide.

Plus, what about those who are more higher functioning. Tax paying suicidal people. We're not allowed to go because we're more useful? That's not fair either!

The only way I think it could really change though would be for our governments to legalise assisted suicide and regulate it.

I do understand why companies are careful in selling products they know are commonly used in suicides. From that companies point of view- why would they want to risk a possible law suit and bereaved families coming after them? The legitimate companies aren't actually purposefully creating products for people to suicide with. They likely don't want them being used for that. It probably doesn't do much for their image! We may not care about that but, why should they care to help us? They're simply a company trying to stay afloat.

Plus, there's the problem of minors- which- let's face it- is mostly what society worries about. Plus, mental capacity. Neither of which these companies are set up to assess properly. So, it's almost unreasonable in a way to expect these companies to help us die. That really needs to come from our governments.

In terms of SN, I assume the better bet is to find a source that knows it's selling something to suicide with but, does what it can to pretend it isn't. I think it's much harder now though.

Honestly, I definitely agree with your points as I do completely understand the various perspectives.

It's just so frustrating having to keep waking up again and again when I'm so exhausted... The only thing stopping me at this point is fear of pain and possible failure with other methods.

I'll keep looking though and hopefully I'll find a way to get SN. Anything to just sleep.

Thank you kind stranger for sharing your thoughts. It is highly appreciated!

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand just wanting to sleep, all I wish for is a painless death like never waking again to bring me peace from all this suffering, it'd be such a relief for me to never suffer in this existence again, it's just so painful how I cannot access a death like that. But anyway I wish you all the best, I also feel so tired of it all.

 

[SeekingRelief]

I understand just wanting to sleep, all I wish for is a painless death like never waking again to bring me peace from all this suffering, it'd be such a relief for me to never suffer in this existence again, it's just so painful how I cannot access a death like that. But anyway I wish you all the best, I also feel so tired of it all.

Yes, it's quite daunting how a lot of us just want to rest and yet, aren't even allowed something so simple.

Hopefully our day will come soon and swift. Much luck and peace to you.