Wyldfyre4948
Waiting for my bus
- Jul 12, 2023
- 378
So idk if I'm in recovery or what is going on. Trying to look for a car that I can't really afford, but I'm a recluse right now. Only going out for work and that's the only time I have any socializing. Besides that I'm at home and just hoping to die. Everything has been miserable this year. My brother is getting married soon because my mom has been in and out of the hospital so much, and he's afraid she won't be here in a year. When she dies I probably have a green light to do it.
My parents are something else, and I've done my best to distance myself from them on account of the childhood they provided me with. Despite all the bs I've tried to make them proud of me and always fell short. This year has been a shit sandwich with cheese and I can't wait for it to end.
This part of the year is killing me because it's the time when everyone is getting together and planning for the holidays. Normally I love Halloween and will decorate, but this year I'm just not here. Dreading thanksgiving and Christmas that will be here before I can blink. Probably won't bother with decorating for Christmas either.
Still trying to decide if I'm going out before new years or if I'm actually going to try and stay. I don't have anything left in the tank but I can't bring myself to make another attempt. If I'm lucky and get a car then maybe I can save something up and just try to disappear. Everything just keeps beating me down and I don't have high hopes about getting a car. Life just keeps dangling that carrot in front of me. Not sure what there is to hang on for either. Can't trust anyone and I'm basically done with people, and I don't really have any interest in finding love either. I'm so fucked up and I can't figure anything out.
My parents are something else, and I've done my best to distance myself from them on account of the childhood they provided me with. Despite all the bs I've tried to make them proud of me and always fell short. This year has been a shit sandwich with cheese and I can't wait for it to end.
This part of the year is killing me because it's the time when everyone is getting together and planning for the holidays. Normally I love Halloween and will decorate, but this year I'm just not here. Dreading thanksgiving and Christmas that will be here before I can blink. Probably won't bother with decorating for Christmas either.
Still trying to decide if I'm going out before new years or if I'm actually going to try and stay. I don't have anything left in the tank but I can't bring myself to make another attempt. If I'm lucky and get a car then maybe I can save something up and just try to disappear. Everything just keeps beating me down and I don't have high hopes about getting a car. Life just keeps dangling that carrot in front of me. Not sure what there is to hang on for either. Can't trust anyone and I'm basically done with people, and I don't really have any interest in finding love either. I'm so fucked up and I can't figure anything out.
