Not sure I can last any longer. Would this be enough?

[E Butler]

Honestly so beyond depressed now I'm not sure I can wait another two or three weeks for things to come in the post. I have about 30 ivabradine tablets which is a medication to lower heart rate, I have 5 or 6 Vyvanse tablets at 50mg which I'm pretty sure is the highest dose they get and maybe two dozen propranolol tablets, all of these were prescribed btw. Surely my heart isn't surviving all these meds. Obviously the death's gonna be a lot more traumatic and painful than SN but I'm thinking about taking them when I'm above a sufficiently high drop and when I know I don't have a choice I'll finally jump and save myself the pain.

 

[roommate]

I don't know man, but that seems like a lot of risk.
OD medicine is highly regarded as a bad way to go.
Good chance you just damage your body instead of going, making things worse.

If you can feel a bit better if you vent a bit, we're here for you

 

[E Butler]

I don't know man, but that seems like a lot of risk.
OD medicine is highly regarded as a bad way to go.
Good chance you just damage your body instead of going, making things worse.

If you can feel a bit better if you vent a bit, we're here for you

Surely the drop + meds is gonna be a guaranteed out.

You don't want to hear my story. It's honestly so depressing and beyond tragic it's probably my worldly duty to not tell it.

 

[Zaphkiel]

Overdose never works. Everything is accounted for. Also lot of potential after effects.

 

[roommate]

Surely the drop + meds is gonna be a guaranteed out.

You don't want to hear my story. It's honestly so depressing and beyond tragic it's probably my worldly duty to not tell it.

I can't really say more then I did on if it works. Puking could be a what's happening, it just seems really experimental.
It's so hard that you carry such a large burden arround man, hopefully you can find something that eases you a bit in this moment.

 

[MeowWantsToGoHome]

I would really try to stick it out with the SN. I know the waiting fucking sucks, I'm currently waiting for mine too and the arrival date says Feb. 26–March 2. I want it so badly but I know it'll be worth it when it does get here. I'm just doing literally whatever I can to distract myself in the meantime.

I know your situation is different than mine, but I really hope you don't take all those pills, because I have to agree the chances if it working and not just leaving you worse off are low, and if you fail and go to the hospital, you'll likely be put in an involuntary stay at a psych ward for attempting CTB and have your freedoms taken from you.

Not saying any of this to fear monger! I just don't want to see you in a worse place than you are already. Waiting for a proper way out will be worth it.

And as for the "drop" I really wouldn't bank on being able to overcome that SI, even cracked out on meds.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

Honestly so beyond depressed now I'm not sure I can wait another two or three weeks for things to come in the post. I have about 30 ivabradine tablets which is a medication to lower heart rate, I have 5 or 6 Vyvanse tablets at 50mg which I'm pretty sure is the highest dose they get and maybe two dozen propranolol tablets, all of these were prescribed btw. Surely my heart isn't surviving all these meds. Obviously the death's gonna be a lot more traumatic and painful than SN but I'm thinking about taking them when I'm above a sufficiently high drop and when I know I don't have a choice I'll finally jump and save myself the pain.

That's a small of Vyvanse. 6 x 50 mg Vyvanse = 300 mg. It would be very uncomfortable (typical stimulant symptoms) but unlikely to kill you.
The LD50 is >1,000 mg/kg weight, so if you weighed 70 kg then 70,000 mg or 1,400 50 mg Vyvanse pills are needed for a 50% chance of death.

Propanolol is also fairly safe. The LD50 is 466/kg or 31,220 mg for a 70 kg person. A 48 year old woman attempte suicide by ingestng 5,000 mg propanolol and she survived. It definitely needs to be a very large amount to be effective.

Finally, there is a question of whether propranolol's effect of lowering the heart rate wouldn't counteract Vyvanse's tendency to raise heart rate, thus reducing the stress on the cardiovascular system and reducing the likelihood of death.

My recommendation is to take your Vyvanse as prescribed, and use it to help you make a rock solid plan for SN which is a much more viable method to CTB.