bbye111
absurdism
- Dec 26, 2022
- 63
hi! I've been severely depressed and highly suicidal for the past few months. I really wanted to CTB, to the point where I rejected love, support, and hope from everyone. I didn't want to become better and gave up on myself. But today I realized it was the most foolish decision I've made. I saw no point and use in living because of the fear of failure, "what if it doesn't become better?". Everything just seems like a constant struggle, goals, money, and the like. So what should I look forward to? What should I wake up to? Then it hit me, it doesn't have to be so grand. It could be as small and as simple as feeling the sunlight touch your skin, watching the trees sway, and feeling the warmth of a hug. These simple things can be a reason to carry on and live forward as mundane as it sounds. We should allow ourselves to be human. It's commonly discussed in society that one must achieve, be and have this, or that because it's what gives life meaning and purpose. Since most of us don't possess these things or even lost them during our journey, we're given the impression that life is then meaningless. We forget that we are human, and the warmth of the sun after a chilly night was something to look forward to. I'm planning on leaving this site, or maybe staying for the purpose of support and losing the feeling of alienation whenever I feel like I'm the only one experiencing these feelings. Allow yourself to become human my friends. It's not shallow nor corny to live for the simplest things, we live not to please but yet to feel alive.
