Woke up. High on the medication. See where I went wrong. I'm so messed up. Too far gone. I have been broken into pieces and can't withstand it. Totally messed up. Just don't feel strong enough to carry out an attempt. Need the meds to fend it off. It won't be long until I get into trouble again. Need to die, need to kill myself before things get worse. The thing about life is there is always the potential for things to go worse. My trajectory is downwards, until I die.
