Yeah, stay away from alcohol as a way to numb pain, depression and/or anxiety. It makes all worse. I binge drank a lot in periods, and it almost destroyed me and I stopped immediately one day after puking tiny pieces of blood and looking at chats realizing I had lost the memory of a whole week of events
. Now I just crave it, but remind myself that the feeling of contentment or euphoria from drinking only lasts 40-60 minutes and then I cry, get depressed and/or angry while still drunk and destroying my organs. After sobering up, I feel more anxiety than normal, which is when the endless loop starts of wanting to drink even more. Also, I suffer from insomnia sometimes, and while drinking knocks me out eventually, it destroys sleep quality and when you stop it just worsens the insomnia (which in some cases may be permanent). It also kills your organs slowly, eventually giving you a very slow painful death, or worse, a coma first. Before the coma you may also get your brain and memory destroyed (Wernicke-Korsakoff disease, which is some of the most scary things I've read about). It's a stupid drug. Even cocaine and heroin are less harmful (look it up).
So when you realize that "not even alcohol is helping me feel better", just give it up before you get worse. There are better ways to feel better, coming from me who is diagnozed with severe depression (like, top score in tests and evaluations by multiple psychiatrists).