obei

obei

This is the only place where you can say “kys”
Aug 4, 2023
250
So Ive been feeling okay for the last 3 weeks, longest ive been okay for ages, until now.
I realized I am such a burden to society, and especially my family. I just cant keep on living and trying, but I am not at a point of feeling fine with ctbing like I was before.
Idk what to even do with myself, even art feels like such a task rn, which is something that usually keeps me calm.
 
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ColorlessTrees

ColorlessTrees

Stuck
Jan 4, 2022
261
I'm pretty much in the same boat. Came close to CTB a couple of times, but no longer feel like I can. At the same time, I struggle a lot to do anything productive, or contribute. I've tried to help around the house, but that isn't terribly much either.

I don't know how it is for you, but it tends to come in waves for me. Sometimes ideation will be worse, sometimes the desire to recover will be stronger; most times, I am just in limbo. I think a lot of people feel this way, so you're certainly not alone in that. Not that it's much comfort.
Regardless, I do hope things will improve for you, even if only that the joy you find in things you care about, and the energy to do them will return.
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
2,831
It's good that you are feeling okay at the moment. It's really good.

I understand feeling like a burden to those around you and to society as a whole. It wasn't until recently that I came to realize that I wasn't a burden and that those feelings came from a deep seated pain within me. Sometimes life can make you feel like shit and that feeling can last for so long that you become acustom to it. You start to feel like your existence only causes pain to those around you. You start feeling like you are the issue. Like you are the problem.

I doubt that you are burden. Sometimes the pain can cloud your judgement and can make it hard to view yourself for the complex being you are. It's good that you are feeling better. I hope that state you are in right now, that state of feeling okay, continues on for as long as possible.
 
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