You aren't alone. When I was a kid I couldn't wait to grow up, and I get why. When you're a child you have few freedoms, my parents were pretty strict, I fought a lot with my mom, etc.
Now I realize why so many people miss their childhoods. I miss having no responsibilities and the only priority was having a good time and figuring myself out. I miss when me and my siblings all lived together and could hang out... When my parents were young and felt immortal... When we would go on family trips and our extended family wasn't dead or fractured... When I had a ton of friends to hang out with, and all summer to play video games. Now everything is changed and I feel colder and more alone... I just wish I could fall asleep and never wake up before I lose even more and suffer even worse. I miss how carefree I used to be.