Any advice ? I am ready to lose my mind over this inconsiderate, defiant neighbor below me. He plays his music too loud ,and has been told by the office to stop. He keeps doing it anyway. I have called the police to knock on his door and tell him to stop( at least 4 times), and he still does it. The office ( I live in an apartment) said they cannot do anything else unless they have a police report. I am already beyond depressed and wanting to ctb. I am so tired of having to keep putting up with stuff. I live in the USA. People are telling me different things. Some say the police have to hear the noise for themselves. I do not know if that is correct or not? I just moved here a few months to escape another bad living situation, so I just went from one bad thing to another. This noise would bother anybody. It bothers me even more because of my horrid emotional and mental state. What can I do? Any advice would be much appreciated.
SinisterKid
Visionary
- Jun 1, 2019
- 2,113
If you own a Smartphone you can get apps now that record noise pollution and are admissible in UK law, but not sure about US law. Might be worth seeing what is available to you and if its worth bothering. Sorry can be of more help. But if anyone understands what noise from bad neighbours can be like, its me. So I empathise with what you must be going through BIGTIME!
I don't have a fancy enough phone to do apps. What did you do about your noise problem?
SinisterKid
Visionary
- Jun 1, 2019
- 2,113
1st one or 2nd one? Here, its noise diaries, meetings, action plans, recording equipment, mediation and then court if it comes to eviction time. Its a long drawn out affair. This current one has been rumbling on for a year now. The recording equipment, although brand new, was apparently faulty. That was in Nov and I just told em to go fuck themselves in Dec. Now its fire with fire time. They make a noise, I make twice as much. Its working so far. Its a pain in the ass, but last resort kinda thing for me.
TheOA
Student
- Jan 5, 2020
- 101
My suggestion would be to reach out to your therapist/counselor (if you have one) and have them write a note to your apartment complex. From there, request what is called a "reasonable accommodation". Under the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) most mental conditions that qualify as a disability (even if you are not receiving disability funding/SSDI/etc) are federally protected and apartment complexes have to take these request seriously or they are in violation of the law. Examples of a reasonable request in your situation would be to be transferred to another apartment or, if necessary, being released from your lease to secure housing elsewhere. Individuals with sensory processing disorders as a result of medication, disease, etc. struggle in apartment living.
I have sensory processing issues and live in a shared community and have had to make request for reasonable accommodations before. Trying to 'catch' your neighbor in the act - at just the right time - is like trying to catch water.
I have sensory processing issues and live in a shared community and have had to make request for reasonable accommodations before. Trying to 'catch' your neighbor in the act - at just the right time - is like trying to catch water.
thanks for this advice. Thanks o you both. So, the apartment people did say they could transfer me yo another apartment. But, I do not want to uproot and think it unfair I should be the one yo do that, when I am not the problem. I wonder if your idea of them having to let me out of my lease would work, if I get that " reasonable accommodation" thing, if I could be let out of my lease. I have 6 more months. Do you think so?
Yes, I have a therapist( psychiatric nurse practitioner)
Sorry, did not mean to post twice
I have bipolar 2, PTSD,add major depression, anxiety
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TheOA
Student
- Jan 5, 2020
- 101
You're welcome. I think it might certainly be a viable option. I DO agree with you; it should not be your burden to bear with regard to uprooting and transferring especially if only for 6 months. Getting out of your lease might be more tricky and technically may not count as a reasonable accommodation (now that I think it over more carefully) but a police report would absolutely put pressure on the complex to be more proactive with the problem tenant. I do know that where I live, officers can take a report on the spot so if I call them to my home for a noise complaint they will record everything then and give me a report number on the spot. Have you tried that? It seems to me that the apartment complex needs the police report to enforce a noise violation rule and proceed evictions on your neighbor. Although it would be a slight inconvenience for you, in the long run it might be worth making a phone call and having an officer come out to take a report.
Lastly, the more convincing your therapist is in their letter the faster it will expedite things. Reading your diagnoses, I empathize. The nature of BPD is frantic at times and the apartment complex also needs to recognize the severity of the situation before things go any further.
I am not sure if I can share weblinks here but if you google/bing search "americans with disability act housing" you will bring up the federal page that lists all your rights as a resident living with a disability. I truly hope this helps! :)
The apartment does want a police report. I have called the police on this guy more than once. I did not know to ask for a report, and the idiot neighbor still goes back to blasting his music.
For some reason my reply is having to be approved by the moderator?
Disregard that, it got approved, and sorry again for posting twice. I am having technical problems and did not mean to.
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TheOA
Student
- Jan 5, 2020
- 101
The next time your neighbor is loud, call the non-emergency police and request an officer. Indicate that this has been an ongoing problem, you are a protected class under the ADA, and that you would like to file a noise complaint/report. I am hopeful they should not give you any issues.
Your neighbor sounds like a real piece of work.....
Your neighbor sounds like a real piece of work.....
Get a gun lol! A cheap hand gun or find someone who will let u borrow theirs just to get your point across. Knock on his door, while he's blasting the music. Say something like I've tried to ask u nicely to turn down the music but u didn't listen, if u do not turn down the music right this fucking minute I'm going to blow your kneecaps out motherfucker. I ain't playin no more. Shoot if u have to just not him but shoot the gun near him to get the point across and take a large dude with u to have backup. Cops clearly aren't gonna solve this so u have take matters into your own hands. Or just find a very intimidating man and ask for help. I guarantee u someone will help u out, but u need to not put up with this. You just need someone who will scare the fuck out of him.
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Find an intimidating man for real. Like if it's out and about and u see a nice guy but looks like he could kick some ass. Around your area. I'm not kidding. Ask him if u could talk to him for a second and maybe u could pay him a little money. This is the only thing I can think that would work. U have to reach out for help in this situation.
That is a good idea . Thanks for that, because my mind is so stressed these days with all my problems, that I need advice from outside myself.
GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,727
I'm concerned that you've gone from one bad living environment to a new one, that perhaps harassment is following you. I've had similar experiences, and when I uprooted, new harassment kicked in at each location. I've learned it is more ungrounding and resource-draining to keep moving. Solely based on my own experience, I would advise learning to cope with the noise (*not* easy, I know), and saving as much money as you can for any challenges that come up in the future.
One possible tool is to get a sound conditioner, another is to listen to white noise on earphones, but it's not healthy to have on earphones all the time, the nervous system needs to get input from the environment.
Otherwise, I suggest something like listing what occurs from living situation to living situation. If in the next one you continue to experience harassment, I recommend trying to learn how to cope with it.
Based on my experience and that of others who are chronically harassed, it's better to stay where you are, especially if there are other benefits to being there and you like the apartment.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. We can't change others or make them do the right thing, and it doesn't sound like the police are going to give you what you need, nor is management going to step in. Seems ridiculous they don't just go and hear it for themselves and take action, but again, we can't make others do what we want even if it's what they are supposed to do, especially managers and law enforcement.
One possible tool is to get a sound conditioner, another is to listen to white noise on earphones, but it's not healthy to have on earphones all the time, the nervous system needs to get input from the environment.
Otherwise, I suggest something like listing what occurs from living situation to living situation. If in the next one you continue to experience harassment, I recommend trying to learn how to cope with it.
Based on my experience and that of others who are chronically harassed, it's better to stay where you are, especially if there are other benefits to being there and you like the apartment.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. We can't change others or make them do the right thing, and it doesn't sound like the police are going to give you what you need, nor is management going to step in. Seems ridiculous they don't just go and hear it for themselves and take action, but again, we can't make others do what we want even if it's what they are supposed to do, especially managers and law enforcement.
BipolarExpat
Accomplished faker
- May 30, 2019
- 698
If you were dumb enough to do that....even just brandish (or threaten) a firearm and the cops will give you their entire & undivided attention....but not the good kind. You'd be arrested quickly.
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GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,727
The police don't hand you a report while they're there. You need to contact them to find out if they created one for each time they came out. Will be helpful if you have the dates you reported.
You are recommending and advocating a felony. No bueno for you or the OP.
It is a felony to brandish a firearm. I think you're being sarcastic but saying "do that" could implicate you if OP were to follow the advice here.
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BipolarExpat
Accomplished faker
- May 30, 2019
- 698
Yeah that was poorly worded. (now edited, thx)
I meant, "If you do that, you'll have legal troubles..."
Sorry @Final Escape but I think your advice of confrontation + threats of violence, etc. would only make things worse for the op.
GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,727
Yup. One possibility is that he is doing this intentionally. He may take any response as encouragement to escalate. Better to not engage or acknowledge in any way, let the cops and management handle it, and if they don't, ignore and stay or ignore and move.
What do u suggest when this happens? Should she just put up with it? I mean seriously, she shouldn't have to move bc of a noisey neighbor and cops really don't give a fuck. I've never been helped by a cop in my entire life but they will extort u for money for arbitrary traffic violations bc of laws enforced by the ruling class to parasite and punish vulnerable people who can least afford it. Cops mainly work for the state not for the people and especially not poor people.
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BipolarExpat
Accomplished faker
- May 30, 2019
- 698
I'd agree with below...
Report it, get on record, keep making formal complaints but DO NOT escalate the issue with threats, firearms or acts of violence.
You'll go down hard for that.
No reason to have a case put on you over noise.
GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,727
I totally agree with your sentiments about the police and about what should be.
Unfortunately in life, what should happen often does not happen, so we are left with the responsibility to deal with what is done to us. For example, if someone steals, we are often left with the responsibility to replace what was stolen.
I see three ways for the OP to take care of herself in this situation, based on what she can and cannot control, is able to tolerate, is capable of doing, and is within her means:
1) Accept the offer to move into another unit. 2) Use what terms in the lease allow her to break it and move to another location. 3) Remain in her apartment and find ways to tolerate and/or drown out the noise.
