I haven't posted on here in a long time, but I never needed to. I found reasons to live and forgot all about this site. But it all came crashing down. My parents are getting divorced, I was cheated on, and I've lost so many friends. I tried everything to feel better, but I just keep falling down again. Nobody cares about my situation whatsoever. I feel so alone in all of this and nobody is even trying to be understanding. I just don't really wanna be here anymore. I went from having so much to so little in such a short amount of time, and it's not fair. I was in a relationship with someone I loved, I had loads of friends, I was getting ready to attend university, and I was so hopeful. I hate that I failed my previous suicide attempts. I'm much more unhappy than I was back when I did attempt suicide. I was hardly depressed then, but I just had to survive and get fucked over by everyone who claimed to love me. Nobody really cares. I've planned a bloody death because I want everyone to see how much I was bleeding inside. I'm thinking I'll go to the house of each person who hurt me most, and slit my wrists right outside their doors. The more a person has hurt me, the more blood there will be. My last stop will be my ex's house, because he's done everything in his power to stop me from being happy, despite telling me he would always be there for me. I'll slit my throat and die in his driveway. I'll probably have a note or something. And I'll temporarily bandage myself up so I can get to every destination. It would take a long time and would be pretty drawn out, but I think it would be a unique thing to do. All of this so I can get people to understand how badly they hurt me. Don't even tell me I'm crazy, because I know I am. I've been in a psychotic state since my life fell apart. The depression got so bad, it manifested into one big psychotic episode. Do tell me what you think of my plan though. I came up with the idea just now, and I actually think it's probably the best plan I've ever made.
Getting over the SI of slitting your throat would be terribly difficult, no? I worry that these are risky plans.
SipSop
Arcanist
- May 7, 2020
- 483
I'm in a similar state girl. I know how it feels. You feel happiness with a person, you imagine building a life together and they say that they love you. All this just to dump you and go and fuck somebody else. They treat us like trash, like our lives are worthless, like our feeling do not matter. I hate to admit it but is fair for them. BUT NOT FOR US.
For me, is worse. As I get panick attacks everytime I hear a love song. Everything remind me of her. She was a narcissist and self-absorbed but I still want it for myself. Maybe you can relate to this.
PM me if you want to talk more about it. I plan to die too, if you still want to die maybe you can do it properly
Deardaddy
Student
- May 20, 2019
- 172
You are right. Nobody cares . Fuck the society. I'm becoming more "the joker" alike. Murderers, rapist, robbers are all what we class them as evil , not being apart of them doesn't make u not guilty. Jesus said whomever who have no sin can throw the first stone at the women. We are all sinners , the judicial system cannot label one as a good person ,only we all know how much sin is.
Isadeth
Visionary
- Jun 12, 2020
- 2,538
I can read the pain in your post. The agony and anger with each passing sentence. I'm so sorry your life is falling apart.
You need to ask yourself if the plan is doable. Is it practical. Is it for you to find peace or is it to cause punishment? Going from place to place you risk so much. One being getting put in a hospital. Having to repeatedly harm yourself at each location is also risky. Will si take over? Will you complete before you're ready at one location and miss the others? What if you show up and they aren't home?
Please think about all of this ♡
You need to ask yourself if the plan is doable. Is it practical. Is it for you to find peace or is it to cause punishment? Going from place to place you risk so much. One being getting put in a hospital. Having to repeatedly harm yourself at each location is also risky. Will si take over? Will you complete before you're ready at one location and miss the others? What if you show up and they aren't home?
Please think about all of this ♡
SipSop
Arcanist
- May 7, 2020
- 483
Ikr! I was looking at some videos with Joker yesterday!
People are so hypocrites. Some were born lucky, with good genes and good fsmilies but what about the rest of us?!
Nobody cares, I don't care. But at least I am honest about it.
People are nice while they have food, sex, status. But when the cips are down, thos peple will eat each other.
Deardaddy
Student
- May 20, 2019
- 172
Not this joker.
This is fact that the director really brings us to fact what society is all abt.
https://www.pianba.tv/yun/15606/1-1/
This is fact that the director really brings us to fact what society is all abt.
https://www.pianba.tv/yun/15606/1-1/
Yeah, I guess it is pretty risky, but I know how to slit my wrists painlessly, so I'm sure I could figure out a way. I'm not quite sure. This post was more about what I would like to do, not that I'll actually be able to lol
Update: I did 2 tabs of acid since this post and it completely destroyed all feelings I had for my ex. Weird, but ideal.
