Venting nobody cares that i'm going to die

[batmanreal]

i guess there's also the possibility that no one actually believes that i'm going to ctb, but that's just as bad. i've hinted at my upcoming ctb, both accidentally and intentionally, i've directly stated my plan, but no one cares.
i don't know why i care or why i look for different reactions. no one can save me, there's no point. it's just that death is obviously a permanent thing. once i do it, i won't be coming back. none of these people will ever see me again, i'll be gone forever. it's just a bit gutting that the people in my life don't seem to be concerned with that.
i mean so little to everyone, no one even cares that i'm going to disappear forever, i'm going to die and everyone is completely indifferent about it.
i feel like such an attention whore these days.

 

[TBONTB]

Are these like friends? Family? Both?

I've definitely told people who just laughed or rolled their eyes. They just really can't imagine it.

 

[kazatte]

we're in the same situation. it always seems to me like the people i know off of the forum don't believe that i could ever be serious about ctb and the one person that really would take me seriously is too young for me to properly burden them with that. i know i hint at the idea that i want to leave a lot and i've outright stated it but like you could at least do something for me to know you take my ideation seriously yknow?

anyway, i'm really sorry that you're going through this. some people just get too caught up in their own perceptions of others that they fail to look beyond them

 

[motob]

Don't feel bad for wanting attention, it's a human thing. I'm sorry you feel bad for feeling that way.

It's so common it's become a trope: "we never saw the signs". Oftentimes it's just that acknowledging the signs is too uncomfortable for most. Suicide is just one of those social taboos that's ACTUALLY super taboo. I hope you find people you can confide in that will care outwardly. I'm just a stranger on the internet, but I hope you feel better.

 

[NonEssential]

Wish I could say nobody cares either because then it would get rid of the feeling of guilt that's preventing me from ctb.

 

[LostZombie]

To those people who don't care, they are the true monsters in this, they don't even try. If those who "love you" don't care or even ask you to think about what your doing it for, they are the reason. When they find you dead they will be shocked that apathy has consequences because that's all that life teaches you, to be apathetic as to keep the status quo. It's really sad that apathy is how world works it really says somrthing about us.