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Lilythefenfen

Lilythefenfen

Exhausted of trying
May 8, 2023
88
Another day right? Another vent. I've been worried about having the pills on my desk and that bottle of nitrite? Nobody's even asked about it. they know what it is? Why do i have it out on my desk? to see if anyone actually truly cared? fucking stupid of me, i know. Nobody cares after all. I think that's a fact that hurts more.

I care about all of you, i worry myself sick, wishing everything is painless. wishing everyone is happy in their decisions.

I've seen people come and go on this site, and it hurts. you get to know peoples stories, you can associate with them, and then it's ripped away from you because you learn that while you were sleeping they CTB'ed. do i care too much? or just enough to give them solace in knowing that somebody actually cares? why am i still here when they are sleeping? am I just that fucking weak?

I've always tried to remain positive when it comes to saying goodbye, always tried to comfort others. it's been so fucking hard trying to do it anymore. im in physical pain. im in mental pain. and all anyone ever seems to say to me besides you guys is "things get better." or "you're so brave."

how am i brave for letting a monster taint me.

I feel like an angel who's had their wings ripped from their back, perverted. something broken. something corrupted.

i can't forgive him for that, for hurting me that way, and i sure as hell won't forgive myself.
 
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Ozzyno

Ozzyno

Lovely loner.
Oct 10, 2024
178
Some people might care about you but it's not easy to talk about suicide with people.

Yea I also dislike it when they keep telling me that things will get better, everything in my life is good except for the fact that I feel so alone I can barely get out of my bed to get to work. There are few people in this place if I couldn't make lots of friends in the first 26 years how could things get better?

I just have to decide if I want to live a lonely life or not
 
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Phantomygg

Phantomygg

Member
Sep 21, 2023
25
The only ones who can care, are the ones who understand the pain
 
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cali22♡

cali22♡

Banned
Nov 11, 2023
450
People are mega fake. .

They always act like they feel sorry for you but in their minds you are nothing to them you are worth nothing not even your loved ones will be able to love you 100%

I have a lot of experience with this

I can tell just by the way a person talks if they are interested in you or if they are just pretending.


This can not only be annoying but also make you very depressed when you know that A. no one can help you and B. you know that they are really just full of shit.
 
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Ozzyno

Ozzyno

Lovely loner.
Oct 10, 2024
178
People are mega fake. .

They always act like they feel sorry for you but in their minds you are nothing to them you are worth nothing not even your loved ones will be able to love you 100%

I have a lot of experience with this

I can tell just by the way a person talks if they are interested in you or if they are just pretending.


This can not only be annoying but also make you very depressed when you know that A. no one can help you and B. you know that they are really just full of shit.
Unconditional love doesn't exist… only your mother can give you that.

I don't agree with 'no one can help you'. Some people will try their hardest to help you and in some fortunate cases they will be successful.
 
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