Venting Nobody cares for someone like me

[sitring_lonely]

Whenever i speak to someone it feels like i am in a good mood, but then everyone sees me as a monster for being who i am

"Friends" discard me easily when i am not imitating them and licking their boots, they make me out to be a monster

The flesh under my skin feels as it is burning whenever i interact with someone nowadays, as if it is telling me to drop the act and start violence, against everyone that have brought me to be this way

And my memories seem like ones from a shitty tv show being played on a laggy tv, hard to understand and cut, cuz the one making them doesn't care

Nobody cares about someone detached from humanity, and it is their fault for not accepting their friend for who they are, i was just having fun and they made it a problem
I never said something outright malicious, but everyone says i did and said horrible things and that's why some of them want nothing to do with me
It sucks, and a pain the heart and ass, because all of this can be fixed with a conversation and yet nobody is willing to, even getting mad at me for trying

I know it's a shitty friend group but it is all i have, because nobody cares for me, they were the only ones who did even if it was the bare minimum

 

[FuneralCry]

Many people certainly can be so cruel and to me it's just so awful how so many of them treat others badly. You just cannot trust and rely on people, I think the reality is that most people only care about what directly affects themselves. This world is undeniably such a hellish place.

 

[sitring_lonely]

Many people certainly can be so cruel and to me it's just so awful how so many of them treat others badly. You just cannot trust and rely on people, I think the reality is that most people only care about what directly affects themselves. This world is undeniably such a hellish place.

I do agree with you, but even when it doesn't affect themselves it is still a problem for them
I came to a friend asking for help and she immediately said she hated when i did that, that was the last drop on realizing that everyone is a selfish prick who only keep you for their own gain or because of pity
Idk wich one is worse really

Wish there was a way to find people to rely on without burning yourself in the process, the world is shit because it is filled with assholes

 

[Looking]

I feel like I'm missing some context here - Do you have an example of the things you've said that's upset others?

I'm not here to criticize what you've said, by the way; I'm asking for contextual reasons, not to tell you if what you said was incorrect or correct, obviously. I just feel a bit confused reading this post, that's all.

Seeing you "as a monster" is very strong language, even though I'm sure it's meant to be hyperbole.

 

[AngryDog]

Do you consider yourself detached from humanity? If that's the case, there's a possibility that there was harm done from both sides. Are you simpathetic of your friends' feelings as well? Maybe they want to help you but don't know how and they may be dealing with their own struggles as well.

I could be wrong though. Could you be a little more specific about your friends' behaviour? If everything you said is true, your friend group certainly seems like a very toxic environment to be in.

 

[sitring_lonely]

I feel like I'm missing some context here - Do you have an example of the things you've said that's upset others?

I'm not here to criticize what you've said, by the way; I'm asking for contextual reasons, not to tell you if what you said was incorrect or correct, obviously. I just feel a bit confused reading this post, that's all.

Seeing you "as a monster" is very strong language, even though I'm sure it's meant to be hyperbole.

I do have what one of them said, what i can change and that, i also got screenshots of them disliking me trying to fix things
The monster part is a hyperbole yes, but it is also how i feel, and my grandmother has called me that on occasions (when i tell her about my problems and such) so maybe it is ingrained in my mind

 

[Rational man]

Whenever i speak to someone it feels like i am in a good mood, but then everyone sees me as a monster for being who i am

"Friends" discard me easily when i am not imitating them and licking their boots, they make me out to be a monster

The flesh under my skin feels as it is burning whenever i interact with someone nowadays, as if it is telling me to drop the act and start violence, against everyone that have brought me to be this way

And my memories seem like ones from a shitty tv show being played on a laggy tv, hard to understand and cut, cuz the one making them doesn't care

Nobody cares about someone detached from humanity, and it is their fault for not accepting their friend for who they are, i was just having fun and they made it a problem
I never said something outright malicious, but everyone says i did and said horrible things and that's why some of them want nothing to do with me
It sucks, and a pain the heart and ass, because all of this can be fixed with a conversation and yet nobody is willing to, even getting mad at me for trying

I know it's a shitty friend group but it is all i have, because nobody cares for me, they were the only ones who did even if it was the bare minimum

That sounds awful but honestly, you dont need to defend yourself against so called 'friends' who will casually abandon you. Thats not friendship. You be kind to you and maybe things will be better for you.

 

[secretusrname]

Many people certainly can be so cruel and to me it's just so awful how so many of them treat others badly. You just cannot trust and rely on people, I think the reality is that most people only care about what directly affects themselves. This world is undeniably such a hellish place.

That is true, though personally I feel that at the same time it's okay to trust and rely as long as it's reciprocated. Also keeping in mind that people can up and leave at anytime . The point is you're okay either way if they are there and if they aren't. That's just how I see it though.

 

[Looking]

I do have what one of them said, what i can change and that, i also got screenshots of them disliking me trying to fix things
The monster part is a hyperbole yes, but it is also how i feel, and my grandmother has called me that on occasions (when i tell her about my problems and such) so maybe it is ingrained in my mind

Sorry anyone has ever told you that, and I'm sorry you feel how you do.

If you have a specific kind of humor or like to discuss certain topics that your friends may not be comfortable with, it's possible you guys aren't compatible. If you have any interest in making new friends, I suggest Reddit or Discord.

Obviously, I know you know this, but I'm just saying it in case: You shouldn't ever resort to violence, even if your feelings are valid and they are mistreating you. It causes problems when dealing with other people, it never solves the problems.

Don't waste your time on people who don't care about you. There's plenty of people who would get along with you, even if it's hard to believe that thought.