Nobody cares about others

[aiuto]

Nobody cares about other's feelings. Everyone is just a shell full of ego of themselves.
Not a single normal person is able to have little empathy for others, they only think about themselves caring for others only when they can increase their ego.
In such conditions how are you supposed to care about others if it's totally futile, you will never be appreciated and in fact, you'll probably be just used.

I think that facing death everyday makes you "more human", more empathetic towards the suffering of others. This though will only make you more used, a tool for others to feel better.

Is there a way out? A way to more easily just think about yourself like others do?

 

[highlyvolatile]

I can understand where you're coming from but I respectfully disagree that nobody cares about others feelings. I am unsure if there is a way out. But I do know there are some people that care more about others than themselves sometimes. And they dont do it for the sake of increasing their ego.

 

[aiuto]

I can understand where you're coming from but I respectfully disagree that nobody cares about others feelings. I am unsure if there is a way out. But I do know there are some people that care more about others than themselves sometimes. And they dont do it for the sake of increasing their ego.

You might be right, I wrote it in a rush and was very emotional.
I still stand thogh by the fact that caring for others and having a general empathetic behaviour it's more probable to cause oneself a form of suffering, in order to understand the problems of others you have to make them a part of yourself. Suffering it's inevitable in this process.
Few times you are actually appreciated; helping for the sake of it in the long run is detrimental to one's happiness.

I might be wrong though.

 

[pole]

i understand feeling such a way because of you're own experience with people failing to empathize and be there for you.

it's rare. not everyone can portray empathetic skills, no matter how much they try. empathy is extremely hard to come by these days. and i'm sorry you haven't come across a person who will be there for you on an emotional level, with no strings attached.

I disagree though that caring for others may result in ones suffering. in a sense yes, shouldering the emotional weight of other peoples problems takes an extreme toll on a person mentally. however, there are people who find happiness and the toll and weight of peoples problems is outweighed by the good, happiness and joy that comes out of helping people; and that feeling of helping someone and seeing them flourish outweighs any type of potential burden and exhaustion that may come with empathetic behavior, and for some people, the end goal of seeing someone get through it and flourish is worth it.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Nobody cares about other's feelings. Everyone is just a shell full of ego of themselves.
Not a single normal person is able to have little empathy for others, they only think about themselves caring for others only when they can increase their ego.
In such conditions how are you supposed to care about others if it's totally futile, you will never be appreciated and in fact, you'll probably be just used.

I think that facing death everyday makes you "more human", more empathetic towards the suffering of others. This though will only make you more used, a tool for others to feel better.

Is there a way out? A way to more easily just think about yourself like others do?

I think we are really complicated. We cannot ignore ego. When we act or speak with compassion, there is surely a little bit in most of us that feels better about ourselves for attempting to help and do something good. In that way its selfish. We can also do it to seem better in other people's eyes and get a little kick out of that too.
Sure, I'll admit to both of those things to a certain extent, because I'm human and flawed. But we are complex. I don't think that detracts in any way from the feeling of actually wanting to try and alleviate someone's suffering, or just sharing it out of empathy. If I respond, its because I know what its like to not be listened to and I HATE the idea of anyone else being in that position. My life has collapsed and I contribute nothing to society so I feel worthless. If I can do anything that ameliorates someones suffering even to the smallest degree then that helps me feel better about myself. In that way, its kind of a two way street and I think that is fine.
And yes, there is an emotional toll to being there and witnessing suffering even over the internet. We lose people all the time here and I can personally attest to how awful it feels. But its worse for the people who take this decision.

'Is there a way out? A way to more easily just think about yourself like others do?'
Forgive me, I'm not sure I understand the specific question...

 

[a.n.kirillov]

I agree that suffering makes you more understanding / capable of empathy. But empathy isn't all that practical. Imagine your reaction to someone suffering was to be wholly empathetic, i.e. to feel a hundred percent of their pain. You wouldn't be able to help them in any practical sense at all, because to empathize with someone who's feeling totally helpless would mean also feeling totally helpless.

I think the way out of it is by gaining some sort of power in the actual world.

Yesterday I've watched a great documentary on the BBC of some dude running a hospital all by himself (or as the only medical doctor at least) for the marginalized black people in Sudan. I'll see if I can find it and link it here; it's a great example of someone sacrificing himself for the sake of people who were essentially strangers to him.
.

Found it, it is called 'The Heart of Nuba'.

Review: A Surgeon Performs Miracles in Sudan in ‘The Heart of Nuba’ (Published 2018)

The documentary is more about Tom Catena, who has been tending Mother of Mercy Hospital, than the political situation that restricts humanitarian aid.

www.nytimes.com

 

[Epsilon0]

I believe all humans are deeply selfish and motivated by self-gain, first and foremost.

That being said, I also believe humans are capable of empathy and self-sacrifice.

Selfishness may be predominant, but it certainly co-exists with altruism. That is why this question cannot be settled in absolute terms.

 

[Mr2005]

Nobody cares about other's feelings. Everyone is just a shell full of ego of themselves.
Not a single normal person is able to have little empathy for others, they only think about themselves caring for others only when they can increase their ego.
In such conditions how are you supposed to care about others if it's totally futile, you will never be appreciated and in fact, you'll probably be just used.

I think that facing death everyday makes you "more human", more empathetic towards the suffering of others. This though will only make you more used, a tool for others to feel better.

Is there a way out? A way to more easily just think about yourself like others do?

I hate to break this to you but being suicidal often makes people more selfish and give even less of a shit about others.

 

[Rome Horseman]

I think our genre of people can be extremely emotionally for others, it's no doubt about that.. we are the nicest person on Earth it sucks, it's mostly people that want to end our lives, but that's the way it is.