Reeds
a person
- Mar 6, 2026
- 13
I've been reflecting a lot on how my parents treat me, and how I've always been isolated from my peers until the past few years, and you know what. Turns out that most people don't wait until one big argument to bring up every single awful thing they think about you. Things that they praised me for previously (claiming they didn't want to embarrass me at the time), things that I don't remember happening at all (unfortunately, I have a shit memory, so they're always sure that they're the ones in the right), and things they just kept silent about - they build up all their complaints until, one day, I annoy them badly enough for it to all come out.
No wonder I'm always worried that I'm secretly annoying everyone, or that everyone's lying to me when they say nice things. That's because that's how my parents acted my whole life.
I wonder what they'd say at my funeral. Like, would they say only nice things? I remember being a difficult child because everyone was always scolding me, but they remember me being a good kid. Would they just forget how much they hated me? Would they say that I had a bright future ahead of me? Would they be so sure that this was a freak accident, that they never saw it coming? Or, like usual, would they be sure that they saw the signs ages ago, that they always knew that this would happen, that it runs in the family, or whatever else bullshit they would say to make it seem like they knew what was going on the whole time?
I'm sick of this. It feels like my reality is constantly dependent on people who lie to me all the time.
No wonder I'm always worried that I'm secretly annoying everyone, or that everyone's lying to me when they say nice things. That's because that's how my parents acted my whole life.
I wonder what they'd say at my funeral. Like, would they say only nice things? I remember being a difficult child because everyone was always scolding me, but they remember me being a good kid. Would they just forget how much they hated me? Would they say that I had a bright future ahead of me? Would they be so sure that this was a freak accident, that they never saw it coming? Or, like usual, would they be sure that they saw the signs ages ago, that they always knew that this would happen, that it runs in the family, or whatever else bullshit they would say to make it seem like they knew what was going on the whole time?
I'm sick of this. It feels like my reality is constantly dependent on people who lie to me all the time.
