No privacy and I'm always paranoid

[Dinnerwith6]

So my family has been looking through a bunch of my stuff behind my back.

They have access to my devices so they can see everything I do and purchase, have looked through my notes and read my journal, they've invaded every bit of me that I kept to myself. I don't know how to react and knowing me I'll do something harmful if I let my emotions take over so I have to numb myself and just sit there and watch as they search it all.

I don't think they understand how much it hurts me that they'd rather secretly look through my things than to simply be there for me when I'm not feeling well. Now whenever they try to talk to me, it just feels insincere. How am I supposed to trust you when you took away my ability to be vulnerable. And the "We're just looking out for you" excuse boils me. Looking out for me how, none of this benefited me, it only made me more suicidal. It's them that gained more from me, talking about my problems to others like its some form of entertainment, then receiving the pity treatment they desire.

 

[thefarter]

why the heck have they done that? did something trigger this weird behaviour from them?

 

[Dinnerwith6]

why the heck have they done that? did something trigger this weird behaviour from them?

Probably because they saw my rope set up then a week later the school sent me to the ER, I didn't even stay overnight I was just locked in a room for 8 hours ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I don't know what they expected from me, I've been like this for a while only this time I was sent to some hospital