No planning

[MalboroMan420]

I get my monthly check today .. by tomorrow it will be gone unless I act quick. No strategized plan, just get in the truck tomorrow and drive east. Somewhere in the Appalachian mountain perhaps. I'd like to drown but I have so much fear. Fear of leaving good things behind, but we all have to make difficult decisions. I'm getting the same emotions I got when my mother passed .. maybe I have to swallow this pill and just do it.

I know having no plan is probably the worst idea,, but my alternatives are slim to none…. And if I can't drown myself, at least I can come back to my family to say I had a "GREAT vacation" and swam in a lake :')

 

[h4yate]

fear is a natural reaction, especially doing something such as this. wishing you the best - whether you succeed or not.

 

[MalboroMan420]

fear is a natural reaction, especially doing something such as this. wishing you the best - whether you succeed or not.

thank you :) I'm determined to, and I don't know if I could handle the shame of not succeeding …

 

[h4yate]

thank you :) I'm determined to, and I don't know if I could handle the shame of not succeeding …

thats understandable. failed attempts always feel like complete shit.

i always say that failed attempts are life being unfair and not giving you the freedom in which you deserve. its only more fuel and reason to try to ctb again. though, to try again is your own personal choice and decision. either way, never feel shame for not succeeding in your attempts because its not your fault.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best and I hope you find what you search for.

 

[day]

I would always advise making a plan as a failed CTB sounds like one of the worst things that can happen to a person.

I wish you luck on your journey either way and I hope you find the peace you deserve OP.

 

[MalboroMan420]

I would always advise making a plan as a failed CTB sounds like one of the worst things that can happen to a person.

I wish you luck on your journey either way and I hope you find the peace you deserve OP.

Well, my rough estimate of a plan merely consists of driving south until I find a suitable , quiet lake somewhere in the appellations..

My only concerns are the DNR officers Depart of Natural Resources) finding me on trail cameras entering a public forest after hours.. And foiling my plan.. or me not being able to find a suitable location to do it.

Drowning sounds like it has more peace to it, even though it may not be the quickest .. liquor will be involved but my last test like this with liquor had me sobor the minute I hit the water … granted it was in the fall when it was cold.. but we'll see