Venting No one understands me

[DoNotLet2]

Ehhh I feel so alienated from anyone.
I have autism/Asperger's/whatever. I would rather call myself autistic despite being diagnosed with Asperger's cause it feels more natural. Anyway. I should be looking for other people who have autism too? I found a couple of them. They are complaining about sensory sensitivities and how they can't do anything because of them. And I find it completely irrelatable. Don't get me wrong. I find their problems valid but I want to have someone who understands me. I don't have sensory sensitivities at least not ones that could do harm to me.

I have social problems. My "soft skills" are really non existent. Zero, nothing, null, 0. The autistic people talking about autism tend to have at least decent "soft skills". I can't make anyone like me. People either despise me or can't notice my existence. I just want someone who understands me who have been through the same and knows how to get through it. Am I really being autistic? Were I misdiagnosed?

"Come on it's impossible to have no social skills at all". It totally is. People I NEVER lied to find me a liar and don't trust me at all. I'm trying to be nice and compliment. People find me rude. People never stand up for me. It says that if someone likes you they will try to keep in touch with you. They will start a conversation. Did I mention no one starts a conversation with me? It's always me who tries to make the talk going.
I don't even know what I'm doing wrong. No one wants to tell me... No one understands.

 

[BPD Barbie]

From one Borderline, don't take anything we say or do personally. Honestly, just write that part off. As for the rest, I wish I had some answer for you, my SO has Autism and he doesn't suffer with any sensory problems either, but he does have issues sometimes in social situations, feels very overwhelmed and doesn't know what to say, just talks about himself as he thinks that's the right thing to do etc. So I understand a little where you're coming from.

 

[DoNotLet2]

See I'm sorry for insulting you I can't even make a thread well.
No! You misunderstood. You say he feels overwhelmed. It's totally not the case in my case. I'm simply a freak. I'm not overwhelmed. i wanna fuckin die... just one fuckin person who likes me am i asking for too much?

 

[BPD Barbie]

See I'm sorry for insulting you I can't even make a thread well.
No! You misunderstood. You say he feels overwhelmed. It's totally not the case in my case. I'm simply a freak. I'm not overwhelmed. i wanna fuckin die... just one fuckin person who likes me am i asking for too much?

You didn't offend me lovely, I just want to apologise on behalf of Borderlines. Don't be silly You're not a freak, I'm sure someone here will be able to understand you. You're not a bad person, don't feel that way.

 

[DoNotLet2]

don't apologise. I tried too much. Nothing works. I want to feel cared.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I recently got diagnosed with aspergers weirdly enough I had plenty of friends as a child and teenager but as an adult I find it completely impossible to start a conversation with people I mean I can´t at all but if people talk to me I can talk easily even carry on the conversation but it is impossible for me to break the ice.

I also don´t try making jokes anymore because everytime I did people would get angry at me like they couldn´t see it was sarcasm it was so frustating because I thought it was obvious it was a joke so what I am trying to say is that I apparently can´t be sarcastic because people won´t get it so I must do something wrong.

Now I write this it made me remember an embarrasing episode in 9th grade where I had brought brownies for the class I don´t remember why maybe it was my birthday but I tried to be funny and called them Bronnis and people started laughing and correction me saying the were called brownies I clearly didn´t deliver the joke I tried explaining I knew what they were called but they didn´t believe me they probably thought I was an idiot.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Are there asperger's and autism forums with a wide variety of people so that you could maybe find someone to relate to? It's such a broad spectrum, surely there is someone whose issues more closely align with yours, though I don't know where they are.

 

[DoNotLet2]

Oh god save me from them... I got banned (ok not banned but it was a big warn "say it once again and your account will be deleted") on such a forum because I asked on the forum why they justify aggressive outbursts by sensory sensitivities. They thought I was rude and intolerant because I said I don't want to be assaulted by any means because a person sitting next to me has autism. Like I totally understand it can get very hard sometimes to deal with the senses. I'm very tolerant. I just asked why. I posed this question because in my country people don't like people with Asperger's much. They find us aggressive and hard to deal with.
Yes, you read well, I was severely warned almost banned because I asked "why do you feel attacking me fine if I did nothing to you?".
I just wanted to understand the topic better... No more autistic forums.
EDIT: maybe I didn't use then the best possible words but their reaction was really too much. And some person hated me for my thread and didn't get any warn from the moderation.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

So if I'm understanding correctly from your OP and your response to my question, you seem to find the give and take of relationships challenging.

I wonder, was there nothing else of value in that forum for you such that the strong warning made you feel rejected rather than a social lesson in how that environment functions? Yes, you got blowback for your question, but if you posted an OP exactly like the one here, would there possibly have been others with whom your words resonated?

I write this with concern that you will take my words as further evidence of your being misunderstood and alienated. I can't control how you receive what I write, but my intentions are indeed to understand and clarify, to make some kind of connection rather than to reject.

 

[DoNotLet2]

So if I'm understanding correctly from your OP and your response to my question, you seem to find the give and take of relationships challenging.

I wonder, was there nothing else of value in that forum for you such that the strong warning made you feel rejected rather than a social lesson in how that environment functions? Yes, you got blowback for your question, but if you posted an OP exactly like the one here, would there possibly have been others with whom your words resonated?

I write this with concern that you will take my words as further evidence of your being misunderstood and alienated. I can't control how you receive what I write, but my intentions are indeed to understand and clarify, to make some kind of connection rather than to reject.

Sorry I understood nothing could you write it again but different way?