Venting No one supports me, or moreover understands me.

[Fatality]

I calculated over in my head why I need to ctb , one of them being the development stages we go through to child growth and adolescents ; if our needs are unmet than it causes psychological and physical damage. In my household I have grew up with my neglectful care takers , because they could not afford a living and were financially unstable and were too irresponsible to take care of us. I never gotten affection, or the love I needed, I am malnourished because of the way they fed us and I am under stimulated, they never gave us a purpose or anything to do . so we are always left with " I do not know " when it comes to what career path or where we want to be in life because we do not know what to do with our lives, we have no passion and can't think of what avenue to take because we had no experiences and no guidance , but let us do our own thing with little help while also causing us to depend on them, so me and my sister are dependable on our legal guardians even though we are in adulthood and can't do anything for ourselves because they never taught us discipline or independency. I can't fake care of myself and I am suspecting it's because I have slowly developed dependent personality disorder ( I know I can't self diagnose but it's something I have thought of ). I am in isolation and I have nobody, no formed connections or friendships or relationships, not even close with my family and once you're in that solitude it's much harder to get out of because it goes deeper and deeper within it. Even so.. how can a dependent person live without having someone to depend on ? I can feel everything worsening, I am apathetic with no motivation, no will power, no energy, nothing.. and I can feel my brain cells self destructive and eating at away of itself ( as in killing itself off ) because I have no stimulation, I am unproductive and I do nothing everyday.. nothing.. with no exaggeration. I can not take back the time that I have lost, I can't rewind it and every time you spent in the past, affects you in the future or present.. and the more time goes by and the more time I waste all I can think about is how painful it will get through more time wasted, the regret, the feeling of purposeless , the feeling of helplessness and powerlessness, and what medical conditions I might get, my mental state being so I need to ctb because theres no way out of it ! I could not reach my fullest potential because of where I am at in life. I quit high school because of the poor education I was receiving and to make money for myself and a living, I need an education to get a job and because I'm eighteen I'll have to pay and I wouldn't be able to afford the costs of going back to school, I'll end up living in poverty ! Those are the only few thoughts I have that I have written but each reason I have is plausible and reasonable but still no one will support me and I feel it's unfair, because I shouldn't have to live through it !!

 

[Final Escape]

What country are u living in?

 

[Fatality]

What country are u living in?

Canada

 

[Alchemist]

Getting support is always hard. We are here in case you need anything or just want to talk.

 

[Fatality]

Getting support is always hard. We are here in case you need anything or just want to talk.

Thank you

 

[Final Escape]

It's time to break out of that mindset. I experienced the same childhood. You have victim mindset. I understand and have sympathy. You will have to get away from parents anyway u can and forge your own path no matter what. Yes it's going to suck and yes u might be poor for awhile. Don't assume u are helpless and that things will not improve for u. Baby steps. Seriously you are a survivor, and u can do this. I can tell u are very smart from the post. Life is suffering and the only way u will improve is to push yourself a little. Are u on any psych meds? Those might actually hurt u and I don't recommend. They blur thinking and motivation.

 

[Righttodie]

I calculated over in my head why I need to ctb , one of them being the development stages we go through to child growth and adolescents ; if our needs are unmet than it causes psychological and physical damage. In my household I have grew up with my neglectful care takers , because they could not afford a living and were financially unstable and were too irresponsible to take care of us. I never gotten affection, or the love I needed, I am malnourished because of the way they fed us and I am under stimulated, they never gave us a purpose or anything to do . so we are always left with " I do not know " when it comes to what career path or where we want to be in life because we do not know what to do with our lives, we have no passion and can't think of what avenue to take because we had no experiences and no guidance , but let us do our own thing with little help while also causing us to depend on them, so me and my sister are dependable on our legal guardians even though we are in adulthood and can't do anything for ourselves because they never taught us discipline or independency. I can't fake care of myself and I am suspecting it's because I have slowly developed dependent personality disorder ( I know I can't self diagnose but it's something I have thought of ). I am in isolation and I have nobody, no formed connections or friendships or relationships, not even close with my family and once you're in that solitude it's much harder to get out of because it goes deeper and deeper within it. Even so.. how can a dependent person live without having someone to depend on ? I can feel everything worsening, I am apathetic with no motivation, no will power, no energy, nothing.. and I can feel my brain cells self destructive and eating at away of itself ( as in killing itself off ) because I have no stimulation, I am unproductive and I do nothing everyday.. nothing.. with no exaggeration. I can not take back the time that I have lost, I can't rewind it and every time you spent in the past, affects you in the future or present.. and the more time goes by and the more time I waste all I can think about is how painful it will get through more time wasted, the regret, the feeling of purposeless , the feeling of helplessness and powerlessness, and what medical conditions I might get, my mental state being so I need to ctb because theres no way out of it ! I could not reach my fullest potential because of where I am at in life. I quit high school because of the poor education I was receiving and to make money for myself and a living, I need an education to get a job and because I'm eighteen I'll have to pay and I wouldn't be able to afford the costs of going back to school, I'll end up living in poverty ! Those are the only few thoughts I have that I have written but each reason I have is plausible and reasonable but still no one will support me and I feel it's unfair, because I shouldn't have to live through it !!

I can relate with all you have said. I am sorry you are suffering.
Life is really unfair

 

[Alchemist]

It's time to break out of that mindset. I experienced the same childhood. You have victim mindset. I understand and have sympathy. You will have to get away from parents anyway u can and forge your own path no matter what. Yes it's going to suck and yes u might be poor for awhile. Don't assume u are helpless and that things will not improve for u. Baby steps. Seriously you are a survivor, and u can do this. I can tell u are very smart from the post. Life is suffering and the only way u will improve is to push yourself a little. Are u on any psych meds? Those might actually hurt u and I don't recommend. They blur thinking and motivation.

Gotta say that this is the best advice I have heard in a while. The hard part is getting the motivation to start doing that, specially when already having deperssion.

 

[nztphill]

I calculated over in my head why I need to ctb , one of them being the development stages we go through to child growth and adolescents ; if our needs are unmet than it causes psychological and physical damage. In my household I have grew up with my neglectful care takers , because they could not afford a living and were financially unstable and were too irresponsible to take care of us. I never gotten affection, or the love I needed, I am malnourished because of the way they fed us and I am under stimulated, they never gave us a purpose or anything to do . so we are always left with " I do not know " when it comes to what career path or where we want to be in life because we do not know what to do with our lives, we have no passion and can't think of what avenue to take because we had no experiences and no guidance , but let us do our own thing with little help while also causing us to depend on them, so me and my sister are dependable on our legal guardians even though we are in adulthood and can't do anything for ourselves because they never taught us discipline or independency. I can't fake care of myself and I am suspecting it's because I have slowly developed dependent personality disorder ( I know I can't self diagnose but it's something I have thought of ). I am in isolation and I have nobody, no formed connections or friendships or relationships, not even close with my family and once you're in that solitude it's much harder to get out of because it goes deeper and deeper within it. Even so.. how can a dependent person live without having someone to depend on ? I can feel everything worsening, I am apathetic with no motivation, no will power, no energy, nothing.. and I can feel my brain cells self destructive and eating at away of itself ( as in killing itself off ) because I have no stimulation, I am unproductive and I do nothing everyday.. nothing.. with no exaggeration. I can not take back the time that I have lost, I can't rewind it and every time you spent in the past, affects you in the future or present.. and the more time goes by and the more time I waste all I can think about is how painful it will get through more time wasted, the regret, the feeling of purposeless , the feeling of helplessness and powerlessness, and what medical conditions I might get, my mental state being so I need to ctb because theres no way out of it ! I could not reach my fullest potential because of where I am at in life. I quit high school because of the poor education I was receiving and to make money for myself and a living, I need an education to get a job and because I'm eighteen I'll have to pay and I wouldn't be able to afford the costs of going back to school, I'll end up living in poverty ! Those are the only few thoughts I have that I have written but each reason I have is plausible and reasonable but still no one will support me and I feel it's unfair, because I shouldn't have to live through it !!

you right...with time will get worse if no action taken right now...in any case you need to have a plan,it would be good to find a job to allow yourself to buy your own land on the outskirts of a big city...somewhere where you will get lost from previous life and make you feel comfortable