No one loves me but they do

[DepressedAngel]

I know logically people love me, but it feels like everyone who completely knows me leaves me. Is there something wrong with me? I don't know what else to say. I've been trying to meet new people because my boyfriend broke up with me in November, but I can't find anyone, and it's still hard to think about being with anyone else. I've made out with a few people, but I can't stop thinking about him. I miss him so much and he doesn't give a shit about me it's so hard. I love my friends, but I wasn't as close to them as I was to my boyfriend (he was my best friend too) and it's too hard to talk about my problems with them. I feel like they'll judge me or maybe leave me too, I don't know. I have no idea what I'm saying. I think I've decided to stay on this site in the recovery section, because there are still days like this when knowing that people will read my rambling thoughts helps. I'm so sorry guys, I love all of you. And I know this really doesn't matter in the long run, trust me. It's just hard right now. I'm sorry. I hope you guys have a good day/night.

 

[Thereisnothing]

I can truly feel how things are for you, I say this as I have endured what you are going through. Everyone has left me over the years and its shattering, but end the day I have come to realize it is them who is not worthy of knowing me and not the other way round. Took me a long time to reach this point.
Its absolutely hell to lose someone you love, you cant just switch off your feelings and everything you hold towards them, even if they are no longer about. You say he was your best friend too. That was how it was with me, to have that bond as a friend and partner was incredible and stupidly in my eyes he was my soul mate. Sadly he obviously wasn't as where is he now.............not with me or in my life..................the hurt he caused (and others before him) is incredible................what he did to me was unforgivable yet the recesses of my mind will never forget him and my heart certainly cant.

I am pleased you posted and expressed how you are. You say it doesn't matter in the long run, well it does, otherwise it wouldn't be effecting you. Try and see what a lovely person you are and that people do care. You wont want to hear this but shall say it anyway as it took me many years to accept myself, but those who walk away, were never destined to stay and be tru part of your life, as they weren't mine...............why on earth come into it in first place, I'll never know answer to that.................been better perhaps never knowing such people, or maybe they came for the time, how it meant to be or to be part of my learning in life..............I dont know. What I do know is that is effects you and truly in a deep way, and again took me a long time to accept it was ok for me to feel and not be bad about how it made me sad or hurt me etc.

No there's nothing wrong with you sweetheart, its them that has the ineptitude in life. I honestly think for alot of people they dont even realize how they effect others and if they do some of them are so wrapped up in themselves they dont even for a minute, see how they treat and are with people, its so sad.

 

[itsmeagain]

I know logically people love me, but it feels like everyone who completely knows me leaves me. Is there something wrong with me? I don't know what else to say. I've been trying to meet new people because my boyfriend broke up with me in November, but I can't find anyone, and it's still hard to think about being with anyone else. I've made out with a few people, but I can't stop thinking about him. I miss him so much and he doesn't give a shit about me it's so hard. I love my friends, but I wasn't as close to them as I was to my boyfriend (he was my best friend too) and it's too hard to talk about my problems with them. I feel like they'll judge me or maybe leave me too, I don't know. I have no idea what I'm saying. I think I've decided to stay on this site in the recovery section, because there are still days like this when knowing that people will read my rambling thoughts helps. I'm so sorry guys, I love all of you. And I know this really doesn't matter in the long run, trust me. It's just hard right now. I'm sorry. I hope you guys have a good day/night.

Sweetie, it absolutely does matter in the "Long run". For however long you're with us, whether you recover or not, your emotions, MATTER. If they didn't this website wouldn't exist because people would just go through with their suicides without any need for anything else, but that's not how suicide works. You are doing the right thing. I keep trying to meet new people but I keep getting ghosted, I suppose because people have better things to do. It feels like none of my friends love me, and I understand that.

I'm sure if you went to them and told them that you were in a serious situation, they would help you. But again, because someone helps because it's an emergency doesn't mean they're necessarily a good friend. But, I will say, that if you're feeling down and awful, that if you get across to them somewhat blatantly that you're really really down and feeling really bad and they come tohelp you, then those are keeper friends. It's hard to know, but...

If you need any friends, you can maybe post about it in off-topic or in chat, and I'm sure people will come around if anything to be that percentage of friends you can't talk to about CTB.

If anything at all, I'll be your friend