madgod

madgod

psycho, bi, wanting to die • 22
May 26, 2020
51
i can't handle this little cant do it anymore i'm going to take all of my pills and go jump in the river maybe they'll never find my body maybe i'll float into the ocean maybe i don't want a funeral i just want to be dead
 
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Pryras

Pryras

Last hope
Feb 11, 2020
524
Talk to us if you're comfortable, we're here to listen.


I too learned the hard way that people don't care about others as much as I thought. My parade of blissful thinking was crashed a long time ago...
 
aroutinemalaise

aroutinemalaise

Member
May 24, 2020
20
we're always here to talk, like pyras said. i hope you find peace, blessed be
 
madgod

madgod

psycho, bi, wanting to die • 22
May 26, 2020
51
Talk to us if you're comfortable, we're here to listen.


I too learned the hard way that people don't care about others as much as I thought. My parade of blissful thinking was crashed a long time ago...
i'm tired and scared and sick of hearing "this is just how life is" i've begged for god or what ever to let me die for years and every attempt i've made was pathetic and unsuccessful. right now i'm utterly and completely alone and about to move cross country with my abusers and leave the family i love behind. i don't want to stay but i don't want to go. i hate my body i hate my brain i hate the happy facade i need to put on daily to make barely enough money to feed myself. i don't want to pay taxes until i die for a country that's a fucking joke. i don't want to keep getting my hopes up around people i think i could love only to be ripped to shreds. i'd do anything to go peacefully in my sleep. i might just steal their car and hook up a hose and go out the way my uncle did. easier than trying to eat handfuls of pills. downside is the fact the cops might find me easier. i would give literally all the money in the world to stop my next breath if i has easier means to off myself
 
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Pryras

Pryras

Last hope
Feb 11, 2020
524
i'm tired and scared and sick of hearing "this is just how life is" i've begged for god or what ever to let me die for years and every attempt i've made was pathetic and unsuccessful. right now i'm utterly and completely alone and about to move cross country with my abusers and leave the family i love behind. i don't want to stay but i don't want to go. i hate my body i hate my brain i hate the happy facade i need to put on daily to make barely enough money to feed myself. i don't want to pay taxes until i die for a country that's a fucking joke. i don't want to keep getting my hopes up around people i think i could love only to be ripped to shreds. i'd do anything to go peacefully in my sleep. i might just steal their car and hook up a hose and go out the way my uncle did. easier than trying to eat handfuls of pills. downside is the fact the cops might find me easier. i would give literally all the money in the world to stop my next breath if i has easier means to off myself

Hey your unsuccessful attempts are not pathetic and I can understand the pain you're in for being here and listening to that "just how life is" garbage . Surviving an attempt can be extremely traumatic since not all of us want to be saved. I'm sorry you're going through all this. I understand and hear your pain. Please don't try anything impulsive like downing OTC pills since it will just cause more trauma than relief.

I respect your decisions and hope you exhaust all your options before researching a more reliable exit. If you're feeling impulsive and feel that your heart rate is in the clouds, vent and take a pause. If you have no one to speak to, talk to us. Be angry and let it all out.
 
A

AnxietyAttack44

I just wanna go to my husband already.
Jun 5, 2020
1,092
I wish i could help you as i feel the same. Theres not much we can do right now but i do hope it gets better for you, in any way you like it. Feel free to talk if you ever have the need to. Im sorry and good luck
 
madgod

madgod

psycho, bi, wanting to die • 22
May 26, 2020
51
Hey your unsuccessful attempts are not pathetic and I can understand the pain you're in for being here and listening to that "just how life is" garbage . Surviving an attempt can be extremely traumatic since not all of us want to be saved. I'm sorry you're going through all this. I understand and hear your pain. Please don't try anything impulsive like downing OTC pills since it will just cause more trauma than relief.

I respect your decisions and hope you exhaust all your options before researching a more reliable exit. If you're feeling impulsive and feel that your heart rate is in the clouds, vent and take a pause. If you have no one to speak to, talk to us. Be angry and let it all out.
i don't have any otc stuff, just a bunch of prescriptions that aren't even fun. i have an unloaded rifle and want to try ctb by cop. i mean fuck they love shooting people in my state maybe i make use of that. i wish i had access to hard drugs again, i miss being uselessly high. i can't cut like i use to because of the people i live with and how'd they use that as an excuse to invade my privacy and raid my personal space. i can't even reach out to the family that matters or my therapist the same because everything has been so painfully busy and chaotic. hell im even considering partial but knowing me i'd find another way to puss out. i'm mad at myself. i'm so ugly mad at myself because of everything around me. i just want a break from the world. i want to get hit and out myself in a coma. i wish i could force myself into a blissful brain dead state so my family would need to pull the plug themselves.
 
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