Venting No one could handle the truth.

[☆ !5£391!;%{*[!|¥ ☆]

First of all, I am not crazy. I am not sick.

I can see the things none of you can, and I don't think any of you could handle.
The truth. The real things. The source. The horrible source of our being, of our feelings, fate, death, live, love, decaying. The hands and 'faces' behind all of that. The world may be pretty for some, but it truly isn't. I am jealous of those that can push away these creatures. But then again, they can, because they can't see. They don't have to realise. Because if they did, there would be no such thing as happiness.
Maybe they don't even push them away, but rather learn how to live with them, maybe some of them are gentle to us?
That's still up for me to figure out.
After all, I am the one that sees. I don't know why, but I am.
Someone has to be it. But why me.

I shouldn't see it as a curse, it's a blessing. Seeing the truth is a blessing, right? It has to be. Why am I special?

..Maybe I am the only one strong enough to handle the truth. Maybe all of you would instantly give in and rather kill themself. I mean, I've tried before, that was before I realised it a blessing not a curse. Now I'm trying because they tell me to. They tell all of you to.
The voices in your head that tell you to kill or hurt yourself? That's them.

Don't listen to them.


I hate this part of me. Why am I special? I don't want to be special.
Stop complaining, it's a blessing. Be grateful.


I don't want to be the one that sees anymore.


I have a feeling that I will dearly regret sharing this with anyone. I don't think I am allowed to speak out the truth. I am afraid of the consequences.
I could never tell anyone in real life. They would think I am sick.
Here I can hide behind a screen and it's up to you to decide what I am. And I won't have to care.

 

[CJ123]

Thanks for sharing with us. That sounds terrifying. I hope things improve for you.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Or maybe they do see it but they happen to have a different perspective than you? This type of "I see the truth, you don't" bullshit comes off as incredibly self-absorbed. You aren't special for having a more pessimistic view of life. Most people who view life positively are aware of the fact that life is filled with suffering and some are probably even more knowledgeableabout the sources of said suffering than you are. A lot of them are aware of the uglier aspects of life. It's just that they know how to cope with things, like suffering, better than others out there, thus allowing them to more easily enjoy the good aspects of life. Some people are naturally able to more easily get past the hurdles that life throws their way. A lot of these people have suffered too and some of them have even suffered much more than you have. You are special and your subjective perspective on life isn't "the truth".

 

[☆ !5£391!;%{*[!|¥ ☆]

Or maybe they do see it but they happen to have a different perspective than you? This type of "I see the truth, you don't" bullshit comes off as incredibly self-absorbed. You aren't special for having a more pessimistic view of life. Most people who view life positively are aware of the fact that life is filled with suffering and some are probably even more knowledgeableabout the sources of said suffering than you are. A lot of them are aware of the uglier aspects of life. It's just that they know how to cope with things, like suffering, better than others out there, thus allowing them to more easily enjoy the good aspects of life. Some people are naturally able to more easily get past the hurdles that life throws their way. A lot of these people have suffered too and some of them have even suffered much more than you have. You are special and your subjective perspective on life isn't "the truth".

I sure hope so. You're right. Sorry.