My life has been filled with turmoil, false hope and unbelievable mistakes. From a childhood of abuse to repression of memories. Continually being depressed, not talking and finally everything came out at once. Numerous suicide attempts ending in failure. That's what I am a failure. I've caused and suffered so much pain. Every time I feel hope it is dashed. I've changed so much but BPD always leads me back to CTB. I'm beginning to feel both scared, hurt and yet calm as I face the inevitable. Please don't ask about method because I feel they are a personal thing for individuals. There really is only one person who can save me and help me out of this cycle. After 58 years I know it cannot happen. Only their return means anything today. My times are set and its time. I have tried so hard but lost everything. Thank you to all who have spoken to me. My last posts will be tomorrow night as I commit my final act.
ewigeruhe
Student
- Jun 26, 2022
- 112
I am sorry for the suffering you endured and am struggling myself. I wish you the peace you deserve!
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 45,027
It sounds like you have been through a lot and I can imagine that it must have been tiring to have experienced all that. It is sad how so much suffering exists. I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you and I hope that you find what you are looking for.
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