phoenixx
Experienced
- Apr 8, 2019
- 261
I've decided that, yet again, I'm going to stop taking my antidepressants. I currently take 100mg sertraline daily, I have been for years now. I've randomly stopped taking them a number of times over the years but eventually started back on them again for some reason (probably guilt). The most recent time I stopped was a few months ago, when I was ill and just didn't bother taking them but then I got back to taking them again. The reason I want to stop is because the side effects absolutely suck - nausea, excessive sweating, vivid dreams, decreased libido, numbness, weight gain, dissociation etc. I really could do without all of this. It's really horrible. Even while I'm taking them, I'm still depressed, still want to self harm and I still get suicidal thoughts. The only difference is, I'm less anxious, numb as hell and have to deal with all these awful side effects. It just feels like it turns me into a zombie, I can't even cry. I'm just numb. I know stopping them cold turkey isn't the best, but I've done it in the past and the withdrawals for me aren't as bad as the actual side effects. I'd rather just deal with being depressed and anxious without the side effects and actually be able to have emotions.
Today is day 1 without them. I'm gonna keep track of how I feel over the next coming weeks and maybe even post about it in a few weeks. Let's see how this goes.
Today is day 1 without them. I'm gonna keep track of how I feel over the next coming weeks and maybe even post about it in a few weeks. Let's see how this goes.