Venting “ No matter what happens,life is still Beautiful! “

[depressedlover]

That's the name of a book mum gifted me during our last meet up.I really got mad when i saw the title,i wanted to ask her what's the beauty in my life? what's the beauty in loosing my love? what's the beauty in being in pain,sadness and loneliness?
I know she's just trying to be there for her grieving daughter,which a beautiful thing,but this daughter is so blinded by pain,she can't see anything in life.
Tbh i have lost interest in everything,nothing interests me anymore except the thought of finally joining my love.What still holds me is the fact that i can't find someone to deliver my flowers and candles to my love's grave ,that's the only thing stopping me,i just want to do it so bad.It's the last thing i want to do in this life.
I just hope everything gets done soon then i'll probably ctb after our anniversary that's the end of this month.
I really miss my love,nothing is the same anymore,i'm lost and lonely.

 

[Darkover]

life is not beautiful it's only sometimes beautiful on the outside on this inside we are all ugly all the time i mean we've got poop coming out our assholes theres nothing beautiful about that, i hate it when people say life is beautiful, I've seen more than enough evidence that things really are just horrifically bad covid for instance.

 

[Georg]

Such books wouldn't exist if life truly were beautiful for EVERYBODY. But life sucks, so they have to remind you with books like this that life is awesome..lol

 

[AerialBoundaries]

There are people I know who are also perpetually positive and although they mean well, their input doesn't help. Unless they can live a day in your life, they'll never truly understand.

 

[Source Energy]

Life is both beautiful and ugly in the same time. It DOES have beautiful things, but when your pain is great you have no access to that and it doesn't count. "Life is beautiful/ life is shit" scale varies from person to person depending on their experience and perspective. And both sides are true.

 

[Archness]

That beauty.... I'd be sad I might miss out on all of it when ctb, but it ultimately won't matter that much.

I'm just glad I could experience what I could to this point. Beauty is not immortal, yet is is appreciated all the same.

his daughter is so blinded by pain,she can't see anything in life.

It's really tragic that you have that level of pain right now. I guess there might only be one way to stop it, sadly.

 

[xanga]

That's the name of a book mum gifted me during our last meet up.I really got mad when i saw the title,i wanted to ask her what's the beauty in my life? what's the beauty in loosing my love? what's the beauty in being in pain,sadness and loneliness?
I know she's just trying to be there for her grieving daughter,which a beautiful thing,but this daughter is so blinded by pain,she can't see anything in life.
Tbh i have lost interest in everything,nothing interests me anymore except the thought of finally joining my love.What still holds me is the fact that i can't find someone to deliver my flowers and candles to my love's grave ,that's the only thing stopping me,i just want to do it so bad.It's the last thing i want to do in this life.
I just hope everything gets done soon then i'll probably ctb after our anniversary that's the end of this month.
I really miss my love,nothing is the same anymore,i'm lost and lonely.

Life is beautiful for people with a successful life , if you just live a normal life and really start to think about it you will see that the life is just awful and most of the time you cant do anything about it , dont compare a completly life of suffering with maybe 10 minutes of suffering and then... boom completly in peace

 

[OceanBlue]

And a million other things..

 

[Tobacco]

For someone, somewhere in the world there will be a life with more suffering than happyness. I want to see someone reason against that.

 

[depressedlover]

The beauty in life is overrated.That's a painful pill to swallow.Some people don't want to admit it.

 

[WorthlessCoward]

What a cheesy title, what's in the over? One of those "inspirational" pictures with a waterfall?

 

[Linda]

That's the name of a book mum gifted me during our last meet up.I really got mad when i saw the title,i wanted to ask her what's the beauty in my life? what's the beauty in loosing my love? what's the beauty in being in pain,sadness and loneliness?
I know she's just trying to be there for her grieving daughter,which a beautiful thing,but this daughter is so blinded by pain,she can't see anything in life.
Tbh i have lost interest in everything,nothing interests me anymore except the thought of finally joining my love.What still holds me is the fact that i can't find someone to deliver my flowers and candles to my love's grave ,that's the only thing stopping me,i just want to do it so bad.It's the last thing i want to do in this life.
I just hope everything gets done soon then i'll probably ctb after our anniversary that's the end of this month.
I really miss my love,nothing is the same anymore,i'm lost and lonely.

Life has its moments, so your mother is not 100% wrong. But she certainly isn't entirely right either. My own view is, and has been since I was about 15, that life is grossly over-rated. If the negatives outweigh the good things, and if there is little prospect of that changing, it may be time to go. But try to take the long view. Don't be too influenced by how you are feeling right now. The main reason I'm still here is that I'm not particularly prone to depression, and my life has been reasonably successful. so apart from one period in my life I have not been under strong pressure to ctb. But I'm declining now, and if my husband dies before me there will be no reason to remain. Then the negatives will outweight the positives (if there still are any positives left then) and I will leave.

 

[depressedlover]

What a cheesy title, what's in the over? One of those "inspirational" pictures with a waterfall?

Tbh i wasn't even attentive to its details because the title itself was a turn off,I just looked at it,it's a sketchy tree with circular leaves in yellow,green and brown.Lol…I think waterfall and sunset would have been better for the title.

 

[Twistedliesinside]

Your life is a work of art. Beauty is pain. Beauty is suffering. Beauty is hard to palate. I hope through life and death, that there is at least a single moment you see the beauty in the darkest of places and feel an all-consuming peace that allows you to let go of all that weighs you down.

 

[tiny_dancer]

Ugh, more "helpful" advice from someone who has no idea. I get why her giving that book to you made you so mad. "No matter what happens" is the worst part. Sometimes what happens IS so bad that it cannot be overcome just by focusing on the beauty of life. I understand that mothers just try to help in whatever way they can (mine's the same) and I'm sure her intentions were good, but it comes across as completely invalidating when it's not just as simple as changing your focus. Sometimes like you said, the pain completely overrides the beauty. That might work fine for someone who is not overcome with suffering. But is not always so easy. I'm sorry for your grief and loss and what you are going through.

 

[Twistedliesinside]

I've lost many people I've loved. Two of those people were the centre of my world and reason for existence. I can only imagine where you must be in your head right now. I think it takes pain worse than death to find a new reason to live. I wouldn't be looking for a new reason to live myself, if it weren't for some form of love still existing in my life.

 

[depressedlover]

Ugh, more "helpful" advice from someone who has no idea. I get why her giving that book to you made you so mad. "No matter what happens" is the worst part. Sometimes what happens IS so bad that it cannot be overcome just by focusing on the beauty of life. I understand that mothers just try to help in whatever way they can (mine's the same) and I'm sure her intentions were good, but it comes across as completely invalidating when it's not just as simple as changing your focus. Sometimes like you said, the pain completely overrides the beauty. That might work fine for someone who is not overcome with suffering. But is not always so easy. I'm sorry for your grief and loss and what you are going through.

You spoke my mind and heart at the same time,the first part of the title pissed me off,i felt it belittles my feelings,the pain i am experiencing.Maybe i'm "bitter" as they say but it still doesn't feel right to invalidate the situation.Thanks.

I've lost many people I've loved. Two of those people were the centre of my world and reason for existence. I can only imagine where you must be in your head right now. I think it takes pain worse than death to find a new reason to live. I wouldn't be looking for a new reason to live myself, if it weren't for some form of love still existing in my life.

Since i failed my last attempt,i have been looking for a reason to live but i haven't found,i'm slowly drifting away from my family,i'm irritable,bitter and crying all the time.I don't want a future anymore,i have been trying to find the answer as to why i should continue living in this pain,just one reason.I'm currently living in the past where my love is still alive,i'm also living in between the afterlife world and the life world because i still want to be with him.I even don't know how to explain what im going through.I just long for one thing ever since he ceased living.I don't know if someone understands or is going through what i'm going through…I'm just fuckin lost

 

[OceanBlue]

Your life is a work of art. Beauty is pain. Beauty is suffering. Beauty is hard to palate. I hope through life and death, that there is at least a single moment you see the beauty in the darkest of places and feel an all-consuming peace that allows you to let go of all that weighs you down.

The local masochist.. can't relate.

 

[Twistedliesinside]

You spoke my mind and heart at the same time,the first part of the title pissed me off,i felt it belittles my feelings,the pain i am experiencing.Maybe i'm "bitter" as they say but it still doesn't feel right to invalidate the situation.Thanks.

Since i failed my last attempt,i have been looking for a reason to live but i haven't found,i'm slowly drifting away from my family,i'm irritable,bitter and crying all the time.I don't want a future anymore,i have been trying to find the answer as to why i should continue living in this pain,just one reason.I'm currently living in the past where my love is still alive,i'm also living in between the afterlife world and the life world because i still want to be with him.I even don't know how to explain what im going through.I just long for one thing ever since he ceased living.I don't know if someone understands or is going through what i'm going through…I'm just fuckin lost

I think I completely understand... it's so very sad that if you can push through this it might be at the least 5+ years of suffering. I always want to check if you believe you can make it, but maybe your soul wants to rest forever.

The local masochist.. can't relate.

Funny, but this thread isn't about you or me and words take many forms and meanings.

 

[Homo erectus]

There are people I know who are also perpetually positive and although they mean well, their input doesn't help. Unless they can live a day in your life, they'll never truly understand.

It's sometimes painful, sometimes annoying, to watch, or interact with, perpetually positive people.

 

[depressedlover]

I think I completely understand... it's so very sad that if you can push through this it might be at the least 5+ years of suffering. I always want to check if you believe you can make it, but maybe your soul wants to rest forever.

Funny, but this thread isn't about you or me and words take many forms and meanings.

I have always been a fighter,the one who always has plan ABC… even my family knows this but this one is beyond me…I just can't handle it,i can't see myself holding on even till the end of the year,that'll be like a decade of pain.Thanks for checking though.

 

[outrider567]

Pathetic--Life could be and was beautiful but things can change drastically quickly

 

[AerialBoundaries]

It's sometimes painful, sometimes annoying, to watch, or interact with, perpetually positive people.

They're trying to convince themselves, just as much as they're trying to convince me, but in all likelihood are one unfortunate event away from falling apart at the seams.

 

[FuneralCry]

It does repulse me the thought of somebody calling life "beautiful", I think that glorifying the way that life truly is just leads to more harm. The reality is that life is cruel, hellish and also futile, it's a tragedy how life even evolved in the first place as all that life is, is just an endless cycle of suffering which sadly continues to repeat, there was never a need for life to exist when complete nothingness is perfection.

Creating life is just creating problems and needs all while the potential for the most extreme torture is there at any moment, all of the so called beauty is just a delusion and with awareness one can realise that existing is just an unnecessary harm, existence is such a burden especially as there is no straightforward way to cease existing, it truly is a punishment having the ability to exist here. I only see beauty in the thought of permanent nonexistence with everything finally forgotten about.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't mind admitting that certain things in this world are extremely beautiful. However- I can't stand it being forced on me- it's very much along the lines of- 'look at all you should be grateful for.' When your baseline is resenting being given life in the first place- it tarnishes everything. Being told you should find beauty and gratitude in something that has given you so much grief is pretty belittling.

 

[Abdullah]

That's the name of a book mum gifted me during our last meet up.I really got mad when i saw the title,i wanted to ask her what's the beauty in my life? what's the beauty in loosing my love? what's the beauty in being in pain,sadness and loneliness?
I know she's just trying to be there for her grieving daughter,which a beautiful thing,but this daughter is so blinded by pain,she can't see anything in life.
Tbh i have lost interest in everything,nothing interests me anymore except the thought of finally joining my love.What still holds me is the fact that i can't find someone to deliver my flowers and candles to my love's grave ,that's the only thing stopping me,i just want to do it so bad.It's the last thing i want to do in this life.
I just hope everything gets done soon then i'll probably ctb after our anniversary that's the end of this month.
I really miss my love,nothing is the same anymore,i'm lost and lonely.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I couldn't imagine what you must go through. The fact of losing a loved one when that person was what gave you hope to live is very unsettling. I do understand that you need healing and suicide is not always a means but and end. Earl Simmons (R.I.P) once said, "to live is to suffer but to survive is to find meaning in that suffering".

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I think life is pretty.....

Pretty fucked up.

But yes, "life is beautiful" is a meaningless phrase because there really is no "Life" detached from everything, only that which is filtered through our subjective experiences.

 

[charlotte_]

I wholeheartedly understand why you would be mad at that title. There are certainly several aspects of life that are beautiful, yes, but that is still incredibly ignorant to the suffering of those who are unfortunate. There are many people in the world who are constantly battling with others, with their life, or even with themselves. It's not easy, at all, and I hate how different forms of medias only glorify the fortunate yet turn a blind eye to the darker side. Honestly, it creates this sense of false hope to society. And false hope leads to greater despair.

 

[kerosene_cc34]

Mi respinge il pensiero di qualcuno che definisce la vita "bella", penso che glorificare il modo in cui la vita è veramente porti solo a più danni. La realtà è che la vita è crudele, infernale e anche futile, è una tragedia come la vita si sia evoluta in primo luogo come tutto ciò che la vita è, è solo un ciclo infinito di sofferenza che continua tristemente a ripetersi, non c'è mai stato bisogno di vita esistere quando il nulla completo è perfezione.

Creare la vita è solo creare problemi e bisogni mentre il potenziale per la tortura più estrema è lì in qualsiasi momento, tutta la cosiddetta bellezza è solo un'illusione e con la consapevolezza si può realizzare che esistere è solo un danno inutile, l'esistenza è tale un peso soprattutto perché non esiste un modo semplice per cessare di esistere, è davvero una punizione avere la capacità di esistere qui. Vedo la bellezza solo nel pensiero di una permanente inesistenza con tutto finalmente dimenticato.

Su crastu t'in de alen e chi ti interrene iu pro sa presse, if you hate it so much how do you keep going?

 

[outrider567]

That's the name of a book mum gifted me during our last meet up.I really got mad when i saw the title,i wanted to ask her what's the beauty in my life? what's the beauty in loosing my love? what's the beauty in being in pain,sadness and loneliness?
I know she's just trying to be there for her grieving daughter,which a beautiful thing,but this daughter is so blinded by pain,she can't see anything in life.
Tbh i have lost interest in everything,nothing interests me anymore except the thought of finally joining my love.What still holds me is the fact that i can't find someone to deliver my flowers and candles to my love's grave ,that's the only thing stopping me,i just want to do it so bad.It's the last thing i want to do in this life.
I just hope everything gets done soon then i'll probably ctb after our anniversary that's the end of this month.
I really miss my love,nothing is the same anymore,i'm lost and lonely.

Nothing interests me anymore either, the longer she's gone the more I miss her