Venting No matter how much I say it, it doesn't feel better or give me relief

[geraldofrivia]

I keep telling myself how much I wanna die but I always get surprised by how empty and non affected I feel right after saying it, it doesn't give me relief saying it to anyone or myself it's either nothing or worse and it doesn't get me a step closer to recovery or CTBing which are basically the only 2 options



honestly if god exists he's a fucking asshole for making this shithole and leaving us here to suffer

 

[FuneralCry]

I could never believe in such a thing as a God personally. I just see existence itself as a tragic and horrific mistake, there is no deeper purpose or meaning behind all the suffering, people only suffer as they were unfortunate enough to be burdened with the ability to exist. Existence truly is so cruel and hellish, I get that it's so dreadful feeling trapped here.

 

[geraldofrivia]

I could never believe in such a thing as a God personally. I just see existence itself as a tragic and horrific mistake, there is no deeper purpose or meaning behind all the suffering, people only suffer as they were unfortunate enough to be burdened with the ability to exist. Existence truly is so cruel and hellish, I get that it's so dreadful feeling trapped here.

I don't either, I'm just saying that if he DOES exist, then he is one piece of shit

 

[jinx <3]

Agree with your sentiment here, I've become so desensitized to the idea of suicide that it no longer brings the same relief to fantasize over my death. I used to be able to get by with the promise of dying whenever I chose, but having failed multiple times and having little access to better methods, it's lost some of its magic I think. Saying "I want to die" just doesn't shock me or cheer me up in the same way that it used to (this sounds morbid as hell, but again I'm desensitized). I still like to have a plan in place, as it comforts me to know it's there, even when it's impractical or unreliable.

 

[geraldofrivia]

Agree with your sentiment here, I've become so desensitized to the idea of suicide that it no longer brings the same relief to fantasize over my death. I used to be able to get by with the promise of dying whenever I chose, but having failed multiple times and having little access to better methods, it's lost some of its magic I think. Saying "I want to die" just doesn't shock me or cheer me up in the same way that it used to (this sounds morbid as hell, but again I'm desensitized). I still like to have a plan in place, as it comforts me to know it's there, even when it's impractical or unreliable.

Exactly the same with me I fuckin hate this