Nihilism

[greyhound]

For me there was a mental shift once I got my peaceful pill. I think I am semi-at peace with the decision. FOMO is still there I could have had a good life if not for this intractable illness. Still afraid of hurting family members who have been good to me loved me.

But is anyone afraid of the whole ceremony around dying? I watched one of those dignitas videos and to me it seemed terryfing. Tons of onlockers, being filmed, significant other crying in your ear. I'd rather just do it myself (which seems likely given the DIY nature of this site).

But on the other hand the preparation scares me. I get these urges to just chug down the N randomly and be done with it. I'm also sort of doing a ton of cocaine tonight more than usual because if my heart starts to die then fuckit I'll just chug the N.

I think the preparation is scary whereas impulse would just be quick and get it over with.

Of course the rational side of me wants to do everything by the book.


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[greyhound]

But I mean I guess to expand this, say the church fully embraced Euthanasia and there was a whole dying ceremony surrounded but the congregation and the pastor giving last rites or whatever. What you think, would have help? It would certainly legitimize it as opposed to the dodgy half lies we have to tel people we want closure with. But on the other hand it could be quite overwhelming.

 

[Meditation guide]

I've seen a couple of documentaries where the family and friends were there during the dying process, just standing around and talking quietly. It was the way the person wanted to go. That seemed to be the most comforting.

I agree the videos of it at Dignitas are disturbing. I also agree that to do it on impulse would be less traumatic. Still you need to take an antiemetic though.

Dignitas looks like such a cheesy low budget setup without any thought given to comfort or the decor.