Night Night Attempt/Practice In 48 hours... Maybe Goodbye.

[itsmeagain]

I love so many people on this site. I've tried to spread lots of love before I knew I'd get to this point. I've never tried to take my life before, although I have almost tried a couple times. Everything is riding on this working. I'm giong to practice the method and attempt it if I can.

Things aren't working anymore, loves. It's all so bad. I have bad luck of getting slightly good things happen to me, and then they're taken away in the last second. No wonder i have bipolar II.

I will be active on the forum. I'm sorry if I hurt anyone on this site. I don't think I have, but I want everyone to find their peace. I want to find my peace too.


I will do a thread the day of, and see how it goes. I want to love everyone, I really do. I wanted to see the future generations of SS come and go,giving them love as they find their peace in recovery or CTB.

I don't know if i'll finish my suicide note. I don't really have the energy anymore. I'll probably keep it minimal.

I hope this isn't subject to change, but I've never CTB before or tried, so, again, I don't know if I'll back out or fail. But... I want to succeed.

I love you all so much.

 

[s1mplem3]

Good luck to find sweet spot, I didn't find mine and now going on SN.

 

[Lostandfound7]

My Love!!!

 

[itsmeagain]

Good luck to find sweet spot, I didn't find mine and now going on SN.

I would be so horrified to go on SN. I would be so so so so scared. I feel like this is the right way for me. I'll look and look... I need to find it.

My Love!!!

I'll miss so many people on here. Especially you being such a kind beacon of sweetness here darling.

 

[Lostandfound7]

I just pm'd u

 

[itsmeagain]

I just pm'd u

Haven't gotten it yet dear

 

[s1mplem3]

I would be so horrified to go on SN. I would be so so so so scared. I feel like this is the right way for me. I'll look and look... I need to find it.

I'll miss so many people on here. Especially you being such a kind beacon of sweetness here darling.

Believe it or not but both method about blood and oxygen. With night night method you're blocking blood to your brain, blood transports oxygen and the brain dies without oxygen. SN works different way - it changes blood so it's not able to transport oxygen and without oxygen body dies. The only difference is in first method brain dies first.

 

[itsmeagain]

Believe it or not but both method about blood and oxygen. With night night method you're blocking blood to your brain, blood transports oxygen and the brain dies without oxygen. SN works different way - it changes blood so it's not able to transport oxygen and without oxygen body dies. The only difference is in first method brain dies first.

THank you very very much. I don't think it's the difference, it's mostly just swallowing something and being locked into it. With night night, I feel like it's more of a drift i can stop if i get scared. Like... beginner's to CTB

 

[The Warm Industry]

I wish you a peaceful journey and the strength to face whatever you believe will come after that, eternal life or nonexistence.

 

[itsmeagain]

I wish you a peaceful journey and the strength to face whatever you believe will come after that, eternal life or nonexistence.

In my last moments I want to spread love to everyone here. If you need anything, please PM me <3

 

[s1mplem3]

THank you very very much. I don't think it's the difference, it's mostly just swallowing something and being locked into it. With night night, I feel like it's more of a drift i can stop if i get scared. Like... beginner's to CTB

You're right, just don't forget without oxygen in brain you will be vegetable, it's only few min.

 

[Indieblue]

It was so nice knowing you. Have a peaceful journey.

 

[itsmeagain]

You're right, just don't forget without oxygen in brain you will be vegetable, it's only few min.

I know darling. Thank you so much.

It was so nice knowing you. Have a peaceful journey.

I've seen you around so much on SS... I really hope things go better for you sweetheart. I really do. PM me if you need <3

 

[Lorntroubles]

I hate goodbyes with a passion. Thanks for the warmth. Sorry world wasn't kind to you. I'm hoping you're met with even more warmth wherever you intend to go after consciousness as we know it on Earth.

 

[itsmeagain]

I hate goodbyes with a passion. Thanks for the warmth. Sorry world wasn't kind to you. I'm hoping you're met with even more warmth wherever you intend to go after consciousness as we know it on Earth.

I understand darling......... the world kicked me really bad. But... I'mgoing to go somewhere better. I hope to eventually see some of you guys there whenever your time, natural or self, comes.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I'm sorry life is so bad for you that you don't see any other alternative. I wish you peace.

 

[Responsibleresident]

There is no escape. God put you back here in matrix. We are screwed.

 

[deflagrat]

I understand darling......... the world kicked me really bad. But... I'mgoing to go somewhere better. I hope to eventually see some of you guys there whenever your time, natural or self, comes.

You do realize you have no clue about what's going to happen after you die, right? Thinking you are going to survive somehow even after your body is dead must be affecting your decision to ctb, and not in a good way. If you are ready to face nothingness I can't stop you, but be aware that this is a real posibility. If you want to exist in an afterlife that must mean you don't want to ctb and, if your life was better, you wouldn't do it. Whatever you do, don't feel pressured to ctb because of an specific event. I don't know you and I can't tell you what to do, but this is a decision you can't undo, make sure you know that before trying to ctb.

 

[itsmeagain]

I'm sorry life is so bad for you that you don't see any other alternative. I wish you peace.

Thank you darling.

There is no escape. God put you back here in matrix. We are screwed.

I'm not sure what that means, but thank you for taking time to message here.

You do realize you have no clue about what's going to happen after you die, right? Thinking you are going to survive somehow even after your body is dead must be affecting your decision to ctb, and not in a good way. If you are ready to face nothingness I can't stop you, but be aware that this is a real posibility. If you want to exist in an afterlife that must mean you don't want to ctb and, if your life was better, you wouldn't do it. Whatever you do, don't feel pressured to ctb because of an specific event. I don't know you and I can't tell you what to do, but this is a decision you can't undo, make sure you know that before trying to ctb.

Thank you darling. I think I'm ready to CTB. I know there's a logical part that says there's nothing, but there could also be something better. Nothing can make this reality good for me, really. Thank you for warning me, but I've been prepping and talking for a while.

 

[Pryras]

I care about you, if you don't feel good give it some time before you try? Your pain is valid and I respect your choice but if you feel like it's not time yet then don't feel like you have to prove anything by going through with it.

 

[itsmeagain]

I care about you, if you don't feel good give it some time before you try? Your pain is valid and I respect your choice but if you feel like it's not time yet then don't feel like you have to prove anything by going through with it.

I don't feel like I have anything to prove, any afterlife to rush to, any immediate danger to escape, any of the stuff I've spoken with people on here about. I just feel like I'm ready soon.

 

[deflagrat]

Thank you darling.

I'm not sure what that means, but thank you for taking time to message here.

Thank you darling. I think I'm ready to CTB. I know there's a logical part that says there's nothing, but there could also be something better. Nothing can make this reality good for me, really. Thank you for warning me, but I've been prepping and talking for a while.

Well, I have also been "ready to ctb" a few times in the past, and yet here I am. I hope you change your mind and try to look at life with a different perspective. Think about all the good things you could do for other people, because you look like someone who cares about others... Does this have something to do with your bipolar disorder?

 

[itsmeagain]

Well, I have also been "ready to ctb" a few times in the past, and yet here I am. I hope you change your mind and try to look at life with a different perspective. Think about all the good things you could do for other people, because you look like someone who cares about others... Does this have something to do with your bipolar disorder?

I'm touched that you would go through such lengths to double triple check my reasoning and logic. But, there have been people that have been ready too and they're gone. I do care about others, but, this will be the one selfish thing i finally get to do. It doesn't have to do with my bipolar II, because underneath it all, good and bad, I still want to be gone.

 

[your pathologist]

A light in a dark place, whatever your choice, you deserve peace

 

[deflagrat]

I'm touched that you would go through such lengths to double triple check my reasoning and logic. But, there have been people that have been ready too and they're gone. I do care about others, but, this will be the one selfish thing i finally get to do. It doesn't have to do with my bipolar II, because underneath it all, good and bad, I still want to be gone.

Possibly because nobody tried to stop them (at least not in this forum). I don't like how people assume every single person here has strong reasons for suicide and doesn't try to make them think about it. People change their mind all the time, you are free to feel that way individually, but you shouldn't make it look like that's what you have to do (and that's how they ended up affecting you in the end). Noone wants to die without a good reason, and maybe finding a solution that eliminates your need to ctb is not going to be easy, but that doesn't mean it's not possible. In any case, I wanted to make you think, and hopefully, you decide to postpone it until you make a final decision about it.

 

[itsmeagain]

Possibly because nobody tried to stop them (at least not in this forum). I don't like how people assume every single person here has strong reasons for suicide and doesn't try to make them think about it. People change their mind all the time, you are free to feel that way individually, but you shouldn't make it look like that's what you have to do (and that's how they ended up affecting you in the end). Noone wants to die without a good reason, and maybe finding a solution that eliminates your need to ctb is not going to be easy, but that doesn't mean it's not possible. In any case, I wanted to make you think, and hopefully, you decide to postpone it until you make a final decision about it.

I've tried to make people think about it too. But when they usually decide and explain that it's a good reason and that its their time, then I understand. I talk about finding solutions, but I don't think it's very kind of you to assume that there is a way. You don't know who I am, hon.

I could be forty years old in the last week of my life with cancer.

I could be homeless, gone two weeks without food using the library's wifi to type this.

I could be a criminal being sentenced for life being framed for a crime I didn't commit.

I could be stuck in a loop of eternal abusefrom friends and family both.

I appreciate the gesture sweetheart, but I think that maybe you should know people's circumstances or talk to them before you decide that their needs may/may not be fixable, or at least say that you don't know who i am you know?

 

[deflagrat]

I've tried to make people think about it too. But when they usually decide and explain that it's a good reason and that its their time, then I understand. I talk about finding solutions, but I don't think it's very kind of you to assume that there is a way. You don't know who I am, hon.

I could be forty years old in the last week of my life with cancer.

I could be homeless, gone two weeks without food using the library's wifi to type this.

I could be a criminal being sentenced for life being framed for a crime I didn't commit.

I could be stuck in a loop of eternal abusefrom friends and family both.

I appreciate the gesture sweetheart, but I think that maybe you should know people's circumstances or talk to them before you decide that their needs may/may not be fixable, or at least say that you don't know who i am you know?

You are right, I don't know your situation. But if I assume the worst, how is that going to help? I don't want to steal your goodbye post, I will send you a pm.

 

[itsmeagain]

I've tried to make people think about it too. But when they usually decide and explain that it's a good reason and that its their time, then I understand. I talk about finding solutions, but I don't think it's very kind of you to assume that there is a way. You don't know who I am, hon.

I could be forty years old in the last week of my life with cancer.

I could be homeless, gone two weeks without food using the library's wifi to type this.

I could be a criminal being sentenced for life being framed for a crime I didn't commit.

I could be stuck in a loop of eternal abusefrom friends and family both.

I appreciate the gesture sweetheart, but I think that maybe you should know people's circumstances or talk to them before you decide that their needs may/may not be fixable, or at least say that you don't know who i am you know?

I hope this post doesn't talk over you or anything, darling, but I know that you've been here for a long time, and you've probably seen people impulse or do things that you felt could be avoided. It hurts so much seeing someone leave, I completely understand. My mother CTB, and even though i feel like there was hope for her, and that it was impulse... she had so much going on it was insane with so much pressure.

I can't imagine it gets any easier for you to see goodbye threads. I can't imagine the pain it must come with seeing so many good people on here leave.

I'm proud of you for being on here this long. thank you for the care, but I think it's my time. If I fail or chicken out, I also feel like these sorts of things may make me feel worse, so please be mindful hon. *hugs*

 

[Arisa]

Although I don't know you very well, I wish you best wishes and wish that I had a chance to talk to you more before you go <3. I hope it's peaceful when that time comes.

 

[itsmeagain]

Although I don't know you very well, I wish you best wishes and wish that I had a chance to talk to you more before you go <3. I hope it's peaceful when that time comes.

There's some time yet, honey. Saturday is a while away. Send me a PM if you need to talk <3