New years was more painful than i expected

[lumene]

i dont care about the year changing itself, i knew id struggle a bit with feeling lonely seeing everyone i know go out and have fun while i couldnt find anyone to spend the night with but i thought id just be able to go to sleep over the countdown or time watching a movie so i wont notice it. i was far too awake and anxious to cool myself, i just ended up getting drunk (i wasnt going to originally cause im on antidepressants) and crying most of the night. the pit in my stomach still hasn't left i just need company. i miss hanging out with people and i miss when my best friend wanted to talk to me every day. idk its just getting really hard to deal with this i dont know what to do about it

 

[softservecaramel]

I totally understand this, I've spent a lot of holidays lonely. I didn't go out either or get invited to anything. I hope this isn't presumptuous, because I felt like that at times too, but if you're upset, sometimes it's better to skip on the alcohol and swap it for something else because it can just make you sadder and become a defeatist cycle.
I really hope that things start to look up for you. I think that sometimes if you get started with a hobby or something that you want to do, then you'll start to meet more people centered around that hobby/ thing. I feel a similar way as well, but sometimes you have to put yourself out there a little, and as much as I like to stay inside in my bed and cry , I know that I won't be able to meet other people that way.

 

[lumene]

I totally understand this, I've spent a lot of holidays lonely. I didn't go out either or get invited to anything. I hope this isn't presumptuous, because I felt like that at times too, but if you're upset, sometimes it's better to skip on the alcohol and swap it for something else because it can just make you sadder and become a defeatist cycle.
I really hope that things start to look up for you. I think that sometimes if you get started with a hobby or something that you want to do, then you'll start to meet more people centered around that hobby/ thing. I feel a similar way as well, but sometimes you have to put yourself out there a little, and as much as I like to stay inside in my bed and cry , I know that I won't be able to meet other people that way.

yeah, i definitely regret drinking, i just got pretty impulsive and wallowed more. hopefully i won't get the urge to do that again. as for meeting people i guess what made it more difficult is that i do have friends, including a best friend, but they were all doing their own stuff. idk i don't blame anyone of course but it hurt quite a bit that i couldn't find anyone to keep me company despite knowing people and with most of them knowing im not doing well with me mentioning i wanted to be arnd ppl cause i was worried abt my own safety. i should definitely try to meet more people though, whenever i do manage to hang out with someone it's always a rlly helpful distraction, i haven't really found anything anywhere near as effective. thank u for the kind words, i hope things go well for you too <3