Help (new to ts) method recommendations and advice

[pusheen_time_yay]

Hi, I'm new to this forum and this is my first post, so please let me know if I did anything wrong that I should change or if I should delete this entirely; I dont want to break any rules.
I am in the United States and I'm in college with few funds and a few important deadlines coming up that I don't want to be alive for. Just to clarify, my reasons for wanting to die are not just a few deadlines, this decision has been a long time in the making - im just saying I just want to preferably die before those things come up.

Anyway, I have been reading a lot of threads on here and I've decided that SN seems like the best way to go. However, due to my location, apparently it's harder to obtain. How do I find the best place to get this from that is both the right % purity and is also cheap? I feel like because of these issues, SN isn't gonna be the best method, but I don't have much else at my disposal.

I have 3000 mg Trazodone and roughly 1000 mg Adderall, but due to my research and the advice I see on this forum, using those is not a good option at all. I have a blade and I regularly sh but I'm not stupid and I know that this method wouldn't be feasible for me so I won't even consider it. I currently do not have access to alcohol but I asked a friend to try to get me a near-lethal amount and I might drink it all, is that viable?

One other thing I care about is that I still have some uncertainty and hope about ctb (even if I have definitively decided on going through with this) and so I want there to be a chance that I survive the attempt. I basically just wanna gamble lmao I guess that would be funny - if anyone has any method or procedure recommendations, here are the requirements:
- as painless as possible
- able to be obtained at a college in the USA
- cheap
- easy to store and/or access when needed
- approx 50/50 chance at surviving
- if I survive there should be little to no chance of permanent damage

Some of these requirements are more flexible than others so if you have any suggestions that are close but don't perfectly fit, those are fine; the requirements don't all need to be met. If you have a question and you need to ask what materials I have at my disposal, please let me know, I'll be happy to answer unless I need to give up any personal information or something like that.

Thanks for your help!

 

[U. A.]

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[Chito and Yuuri]

Well, welcome I guess. Also apparently you're in a college right now? Look, I know that life can get quite difficult at times, but remember, try to make everything work out before you actually go through with things. I heard someone say once that some dude in their college had committed suicide by cutting themselves in their dorm room tub on like the last day of their second year I believe and they probably had a difficult home situation and did not want to go back to it, but remember, you can do this! You absolutely can! You will graduate and you will earn good grades! I promise you! Really bro!

 

[cyanidekitty]

hi! i dont think ive ever seen someone on this site say they wanted to gamble on their life. damn thats crazy but anyway all attempts have a chance to survive even if its a very very small chance.

i am curious as to why you would want a chance at surviving an attempt since sometimes surviving can put u in a worse situation yk?
regardless tho, i hope you dont go through with it & i hope you succeed in college & get past these pesky deadlines
i also hope whatever is standing in your way mentally or physically, you are able to get around