New to the forum

[housecat]

I'm not in the same place that I was when I first found this site last week (just searching for whatever input and help I could without making a fuss), but it's still on my mind, and I'd still like to get some things in my head straight in case another strong urge resurfaces. My life is technically fine, but I have been generally unhappy as long as I can remember, had a couple of particularly low points where life seemed to be nothing beyond a pointless mental agony, and have been finding things harder these past few years. However, it has always been ingrained in me that suicide is selfish, ungrateful etc. I can see why in some respects, but is it not selfish to expect someone to suffer? I am a registered organ donor, and I now live in America, where I could more easily and legally obtain a gun. Surely if I'm passing on this supposed "gift" of life to other people who want it, isn't that ...good? Would that make it easier for people to accept, and not feel guilt or disappointment? Shotgun seems like a pretty reliable method when done right, and I can only presume that it would be one one of the best methods if I wanted to donate my organs? I don't know how to find out how viable organs are in such situations. For now, I'm not going to attempt. I am hopefully going to try seeing a therapist (already take citalopram, which helps make day to day life easier to tolerate, but doesn't make me "happier"). I don't know if I've written a very good post that people can respond to, so I apologise if that's the case. I just couldn't be certain what the right choice was, so didn't make it. I thought some input would be good to have. It's certainly refreshing to actually find a group of people where I can discuss these matters. Again, sorry if this is a badly written mess to read or didn't list enough pertinent information.

 

[Empty Smile]

Welcome to the dark side.

Sorry we don't have any cookies, someone here took them all.

 

[JustOverIt]

I'm not in the same place that I was when I first found this site last week (just searching for whatever input and help I could without making a fuss), but it's still on my mind, and I'd still like to get some things in my head straight in case another strong urge resurfaces. My life is technically fine, but I have been generally unhappy as long as I can remember, had a couple of particularly low points where life seemed to be nothing beyond a pointless mental agony, and have been finding things harder these past few years. However, it has always been ingrained in me that suicide is selfish, ungrateful etc. I can see why in some respects, but is it not selfish to expect someone to suffer? I am a registered organ donor, and I now live in America, where I could more easily and legally obtain a gun. Surely if I'm passing on this supposed "gift" of life to other people who want it, isn't that ...good? Would that make it easier for people to accept, and not feel guilt or disappointment? Shotgun seems like a pretty reliable method when done right, and I can only presume that it would be one one of the best methods if I wanted to donate my organs? I don't know how to find out how viable organs are in such situations. For now, I'm not going to attempt. I am hopefully going to try seeing a therapist (already take citalopram, which helps make day to day life easier to tolerate, but doesn't make me "happier"). I don't know if I've written a very good post that people can respond to, so I apologise if that's the case. I just couldn't be certain what the right choice was, so didn't make it. I thought some input would be good to have. It's certainly refreshing to actually find a group of people where I can discuss these matters. Again, sorry if this is a badly written mess to read or didn't list enough pertinent information.

Hello and welcome! Your right at home here. We all share the same existential dread :).

 

[bluesleep]

Welcome. God, I wish I lived in America and I could buy a gun like it was candy, but here in Mexico I have to settle for hanging or an OD. I hope you find whatever brings you peace, OP.

 

[BandAddict]

Welcome! I joined this forum a couple days ago, and so far I feel like the users are pretty receptive as well as helpful!
It's great that you're contributing to other lives in the foreseeable future. It's kind of life a dandelion in a way, how it disperses and creates more once it's gone. Idk if that makes sense, sorry It's a good thing.
As far as people calling it selfish, I agree with you that it isn't fair for them to expect you to behave like nothing's wrong without understanding how much pain you're in. That's kind of selfish on their part.

 

[Donewith_]

Welcome here : )
Hope the treatment works and things go in a good way for you.This place has a good environment with understanding people. Hope you have good time here.

 

[housecat]

Sorry to re-bring up the thread. I just wondered if anyone knew which were the best methods to ctb if you want to donate as much of yourself as possible (if there are any good methods for this). I might try a few last efforts to be less miserable, and that may eventually mean moving away from America, where I will likely have less options. (As a side note, I initially thought ctb stood for cut the bullshit, which I think I like better than catch the bus).

 

[spanishguy22]

I was attracted to shotgun because I really don't want any risks of failure. Go like Kurt. But then I saw that some people fail even that. Its very unlikely, but I cant take the risk, its so gruesome. So Im just waiting for a failproof method, but it seems theres always a tiny risk..

edit: cut the bullshit haha indeed thats fitting

 

[housecat]

I was attracted to shotgun because I really don't want any risks of failure. Go like Kurt. But then I saw that some people fail even that. Its very unlikely, but I cant take the risk, its so gruesome. So Im just waiting for a failproof method, but it seems theres always a tiny risk..

edit: cut the bullshit haha indeed thats fitting

Yeah, I'm not a fan of guns and the small risk of ending up a deformed vegetable is not appealing.