New here: trapped

[BDS]

For my own reasons, I have made my choice. I want to be done with life and do not fear whatever pain may come with committing suicide. The problem is I have Cerebral Palsy (google it if you don't know what is). I don't have access to a gun and couldn't operate one if I did. My CP also prevents me from using a knife in any kind of productive manner or being coordinated enough to pull off hanging. My best bet is probably some kind of pills, but don't know what would/wouldn't work or how to gain access to them w/o arousing suspicion from my so called family. I am also unable to drive. I am on some medications now (Dantrium, Celexa Amitriptyline, and a few others) Pill bottles are hard for me, but I can find a way. The last thing I want is down a hold bottle of pills, have nothing happen and have one of my caregivers notice an empty pill bottle that should not be. I am alone fairly often. That is the situation. Any advice?

 

[Dead_Inside]

I feel for your situation : (
I am sorry - does nothing I know. But I just think you deserve to hear it from someone. I work/study medicine so I know what you have going on.
Pills might work .... but you are right people are likely to check up on you a lot more frequently. It might be easier to start skipping pills ... exacerbate your situation (not nice I know) and try to get your self sick? Even then ....

 

[tearsinrain]

I'm so sorry, you're in a very tough situation especially with care givers around. What level of CP do you have? Are you ambulatory or do you use a wheelchair? I don't know if there's anyone else on the forum who also has CP, if so I hope they see your post and respond. I feel really bad about your situation....I wish I had answers for you.......:(

 

[286165]

It sounds like you are quite limited in your options. I'm very sorry that you are in such a situation. The only thing I can think of would be falling from a window at a great height. Perhaps ask a caregiver to open the window for you before they leave, if the mechanism will give you a hard time. Aside from that, hoarding pills as others have suggested would be your next best bet. Amytriptilline can be lethal in a large dose, I'm on the same medication and I checked up on it earlier today (though I can't remember the dosage needed for lethality, I apologize)

 

[BDS]

Thanks for taking time to respond in a thoughtful manner everyone. To answer a question I use both a walker and wheelchair, but am not independently ambulatory.

 

[Comatose11]

I am so sorry for your situation. I would think either B (a barbiturate) or SN (sodium nitrite, make sure there aren't any As in it).

 

[Morning Angel]

How often do your caregivers check in on you?

This is tough logistically speaking, because you cannot go anywhere and a method would have to be brought to you. Depending on whether you can receive packages privately, that is a key factor. Then there's the window of time you'd have to be alone to try anything.