LilyLaroux2000
fairy
- May 5, 2024
- 38
The morning came and with it you woke up to light shining above your eyes.
Entry number 3
Im currently sitty in class. Its 8 am and the first class of the day. I will have 10 more classes today - I kind of feel okay with that which is unexpected. Who in their right mind would be okay with going home from school at 5 pm?! I guess Im not in my right mind then. AND Im even excited for most of the classes???? Thats strange indeed. I've been in this school for almost 3 years how can I be excited?
Welp
Doesnt matter.
Also Im still sick so Im using tissues every 5 minutes. I belive that is going to be anyoning- for me and my classmates.
Somehow it has been just 15 minutes into the class and my pile of tissues is growing fast.
I woke up at 5 am today feeling really tired.
But I had a really nice coffee and I had read a really sweat comment on my Entry number 2. It made me feel more awake and ready for the day.
First class of the day: done
Second class of the day: I dont have homework wish me luck
I still feel hyped even when I slept 5 hours the night before and didnt sleep the night before that. Thats a bit strange but Im pretty sure its the magnificent coffee (I put vanilla milk into it just yum) I love my sweet coffee - I mean Im okay with any kind of coffee, but with two sugar cubes and vanilla milk? Oh damn thats just the perfect coffee. Its better then any coffee I have had so far. Maybe the matcha coffee can rival it but its still really good.
It may look like I love coffee and I dont disagree. I dunno maybe I like enrgy drinks more - I know they arent really healthy but I dont really care. I should probably care for my health. Welp thats a problem for future me. Anddd thats also not really a good aproach- anywayyyyy-....
Oh no I just realized Christmas is coming and I have to make soms gifts.... I seriusly need to make especialy one specific gift. It will be for my friend. She lives in a different country so I will have to make it fast so that I can send it in time.
I thought maybe I could crochet her a sweat hat... I just have to actually make it - I honestly didnt crochet in a while - its going to be a bit hard to bounce back but thats okay I can do this!
Its just I dont know if I will have enough time to make the gifts. I think I have to paint like 5 paintings. I have to like do school stuff first tho-.... Gosh I have so much school work and too little time. But thats also okay - I can do this! Or I cant and will end up in a mental hospital again-. Lets not think about that.
Oh okay the coffee is strating to wear off. Im feeling more tired.
Lets see how today works out. I have to meet a friend and also do some school stuff - I dont know how do I want to mix that or how do I think it will work out but I have to trust my intuition. (Its telling me to tell my friend Im not going and do school stuff, but its also telling me if I do that I will end up with a different friend...)
I think I cursed myself and saved myself at the same time.
Friends are one of the few things keeping me alive so I desire to spend time with them. But I have to do school not spend time with friends. And yet when Im alone Im just unable to do anything. But when Im with friends we just do other things... Gosh how do I solve this puzzle called life.
I cant abandon school, I would also abandon my friends. But I cant abandon my friends, I would abandon my life. I can abandon my life because I would die and that would hurt my friends.
What do I do?
Thats a guestion!
Im not sure of the answer. Altho I could just do some school and be with friends for a bit, I could find some healthy middle. And still maintaning that middle is rather difficult.
Second class of the day: success in hiding I didnt have that homework
Third class of the day: I seriusly need to pay attention/go to the toalet.
I was talking with friends the whole break between classes TT
Also because I finnaly woke up at 5 am I had enough time to do my hair! I didnt style them in so long! And it looks awesome so Im kind of happy with the way I look now. I still feel rather as if Im nowhere near pretty but looking at it from other peoples perspective... I admit I look kind of good. Still my body is making me cringe at how I feel fat and ugly. I hope that will get better.
More classes vent by and Im still okay?! LIKE WHAT?! Thats just imposible???? Am I going to have a good day?! Like the entire day?! Tahts crazy- I dont remember the last time when I had a good day like that! ^^
Lets see how it turns out and you will he though it all with me. ^^
Also if you didnt notice yet, I love writting! ^^
And also reading xd.
After finding out I can have something like a diary on ss I didnt stop writting. Its funny how much I missed having a diary. Or someone to tell EVERYTHING to. I often couldnt say every tiny bit of information because it was disturbing- haha I kind of dont understand if anything is disturbing or not-.
I hugged so many people today! (I love hugs) ^^ Im so happyyyyy. (Like WHAT?) Is somethig bad going to happen or what-?
Ah its english class again. My favourie class to write a diary at xd. My english teacher is quiet nice! Im just quilty for making her go though all that- let me explain.
First of all I had told her Im not feeling well mentaly and if I could go back home aka the dorms. So she had to deal with that and yeah. Then she had to deal with me when I threw up in her class. Since then she sometimes asks me if Im feeling better. I feel so bad for her so I say that I am doing better. I also drew her so I can probably show you the drawing so you know how does she look like (and admire my art ofc UvU)(I meannnn its not that goooood but I enjoyed drawing her!)
Okay so after this class I will have 3 photography classes- SHIT I FORGOT MY CAMERA- oh well my good luck day is going to be done for- oh no. Maybe I could get it quickly during the class if the teacher lets me? TT Oh noooooooo. Also sorry for my language but thats a really bad problem-...
Also my phones battery is very low.... TT Gosh I want to just sleeeep.
At this point Im going to just say bye for now before my phone dies...
Have a nice and happy day! ^^
Lily
Sometimes its hard to live
every time I wake up
I want to be a happy bee
I would just dump
all these thoughts outside
give me a little more time
Also Im adding the picture of that drawing and a picture of me, just beacuse I really love my hair today! ^^
Entry number 3
Im currently sitty in class. Its 8 am and the first class of the day. I will have 10 more classes today - I kind of feel okay with that which is unexpected. Who in their right mind would be okay with going home from school at 5 pm?! I guess Im not in my right mind then. AND Im even excited for most of the classes???? Thats strange indeed. I've been in this school for almost 3 years how can I be excited?
Welp
Doesnt matter.
Also Im still sick so Im using tissues every 5 minutes. I belive that is going to be anyoning- for me and my classmates.
Somehow it has been just 15 minutes into the class and my pile of tissues is growing fast.
I woke up at 5 am today feeling really tired.
But I had a really nice coffee and I had read a really sweat comment on my Entry number 2. It made me feel more awake and ready for the day.
First class of the day: done
Second class of the day: I dont have homework wish me luck
I still feel hyped even when I slept 5 hours the night before and didnt sleep the night before that. Thats a bit strange but Im pretty sure its the magnificent coffee (I put vanilla milk into it just yum) I love my sweet coffee - I mean Im okay with any kind of coffee, but with two sugar cubes and vanilla milk? Oh damn thats just the perfect coffee. Its better then any coffee I have had so far. Maybe the matcha coffee can rival it but its still really good.
It may look like I love coffee and I dont disagree. I dunno maybe I like enrgy drinks more - I know they arent really healthy but I dont really care. I should probably care for my health. Welp thats a problem for future me. Anddd thats also not really a good aproach- anywayyyyy-....
Oh no I just realized Christmas is coming and I have to make soms gifts.... I seriusly need to make especialy one specific gift. It will be for my friend. She lives in a different country so I will have to make it fast so that I can send it in time.
I thought maybe I could crochet her a sweat hat... I just have to actually make it - I honestly didnt crochet in a while - its going to be a bit hard to bounce back but thats okay I can do this!
Its just I dont know if I will have enough time to make the gifts. I think I have to paint like 5 paintings. I have to like do school stuff first tho-.... Gosh I have so much school work and too little time. But thats also okay - I can do this! Or I cant and will end up in a mental hospital again-. Lets not think about that.
Oh okay the coffee is strating to wear off. Im feeling more tired.
Lets see how today works out. I have to meet a friend and also do some school stuff - I dont know how do I want to mix that or how do I think it will work out but I have to trust my intuition. (Its telling me to tell my friend Im not going and do school stuff, but its also telling me if I do that I will end up with a different friend...)
I think I cursed myself and saved myself at the same time.
Friends are one of the few things keeping me alive so I desire to spend time with them. But I have to do school not spend time with friends. And yet when Im alone Im just unable to do anything. But when Im with friends we just do other things... Gosh how do I solve this puzzle called life.
I cant abandon school, I would also abandon my friends. But I cant abandon my friends, I would abandon my life. I can abandon my life because I would die and that would hurt my friends.
What do I do?
Thats a guestion!
Im not sure of the answer. Altho I could just do some school and be with friends for a bit, I could find some healthy middle. And still maintaning that middle is rather difficult.
Second class of the day: success in hiding I didnt have that homework
Third class of the day: I seriusly need to pay attention/go to the toalet.
I was talking with friends the whole break between classes TT
Also because I finnaly woke up at 5 am I had enough time to do my hair! I didnt style them in so long! And it looks awesome so Im kind of happy with the way I look now. I still feel rather as if Im nowhere near pretty but looking at it from other peoples perspective... I admit I look kind of good. Still my body is making me cringe at how I feel fat and ugly. I hope that will get better.
More classes vent by and Im still okay?! LIKE WHAT?! Thats just imposible???? Am I going to have a good day?! Like the entire day?! Tahts crazy- I dont remember the last time when I had a good day like that! ^^
Lets see how it turns out and you will he though it all with me. ^^
Also if you didnt notice yet, I love writting! ^^
And also reading xd.
After finding out I can have something like a diary on ss I didnt stop writting. Its funny how much I missed having a diary. Or someone to tell EVERYTHING to. I often couldnt say every tiny bit of information because it was disturbing- haha I kind of dont understand if anything is disturbing or not-.
I hugged so many people today! (I love hugs) ^^ Im so happyyyyy. (Like WHAT?) Is somethig bad going to happen or what-?
Ah its english class again. My favourie class to write a diary at xd. My english teacher is quiet nice! Im just quilty for making her go though all that- let me explain.
First of all I had told her Im not feeling well mentaly and if I could go back home aka the dorms. So she had to deal with that and yeah. Then she had to deal with me when I threw up in her class. Since then she sometimes asks me if Im feeling better. I feel so bad for her so I say that I am doing better. I also drew her so I can probably show you the drawing so you know how does she look like (and admire my art ofc UvU)(I meannnn its not that goooood but I enjoyed drawing her!)
Okay so after this class I will have 3 photography classes- SHIT I FORGOT MY CAMERA- oh well my good luck day is going to be done for- oh no. Maybe I could get it quickly during the class if the teacher lets me? TT Oh noooooooo. Also sorry for my language but thats a really bad problem-...
Also my phones battery is very low.... TT Gosh I want to just sleeeep.
At this point Im going to just say bye for now before my phone dies...
Have a nice and happy day! ^^
Lily
Sometimes its hard to live
every time I wake up
I want to be a happy bee
I would just dump
all these thoughts outside
give me a little more time
Also Im adding the picture of that drawing and a picture of me, just beacuse I really love my hair today! ^^
