Nervous Breakdown and CTB

[couragetodie]

Anyone here experience symptoms of a nervous breakdown when the timing of CTB grows near? I mean like anxiety at another level. Not just normal "I feel stressed" but like your gonna lose your shit. What concerns me is losing my shit before I can CTB. What a strange feeling this is — that my goal is to CTB. My entire life I have spent doing things to stay alive and now I need to reverse course entirely.

 

[Smilla]

I've been experiencing nervous breakdown symptoms for almost two years, and the only "peace" I have is when I think about my upcoming death.

Literally the only reason I am here is because I am so nonfunctional that the things I need to complete before I go are simply not getting done. It's not a subconscious will to live—it's simply massive massive procrastination on a grand scale.

 

[couragetodie]

I am scared to live, scared to die: this is so awful.

 

[ThinkingAboutThis]

I've experienced the same. I think the whole nervous breakdown stuff in me before CTB seems to be linked with the fear of failure, fear of being found, hospitalized. That's the biggest one for me.