Neglecting responsibilities and hurting others

[kk13]

Ive been avoiding my responsibilities too long i cabt put it off any longer ive given myself too much time but im so scared right now . If i stay alive ill make ppl hate me when they dont understand im just want to die.

 

[derpyderpins]

It's a very vicious cycle that avoided responsibilities => stress because responsibilities aren't done => stress makes it harder to take care of responsibilities => avoid responsibilities

I don't have a good answer for everything to be solved. I'm able to place myself back in time when I've been stuck in that cycle. Generally, it just gets worse and worse until somehow I'd 'survive' and then there's this reset. I guess that's the best comfort I can offer: there can come a time where that stress is entirely in the past and you've completely escaped it. It's possible. Another thing is that people normally don't hate you. People usually are too self-absorbed to spend energy hating someone for those types of reasons. Hate is reserved for when someone purposefully does something bad to them.

But still, I feel you, fam. Stay strong.

 

[Redacted.Audio]

You aren't alone in feeling the weight of your disregarded responsibilities. I'm here to listen ^-^

 

[cinnadoggirl1]

I rlly get this. I find it so hard to focus on responsibilities as I'm a really avoidant person... even when those responsibilities will really only affect me. Theres always this underlying feeling that everything that affects me will affect everyone else around me, so it becomes bigger and more daunting... probably because by myself I am a burden on others still. All I want to do is sleep.. sigh

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

It's a very vicious cycle that avoided responsibilities => stress because responsibilities aren't done => stress makes it harder to take care of responsibilities => avoid responsibilities

This is where I am right now. I'm simply not doing any of my tasks. Soon I will have to tell superiors that I'm too depressed, I can't do anything.

Unless I'm dead. Then no worries. That's the thought that comforts me. But I know I'm not gonna pull it off. My lame little partial hanging setup will not end my life. But I tell myself it will.

Straight up irrational cowardly behavior. That's what I'm up to. I'm 99.9% likely to survive this. What am I going to do? Can I absorb another shame-bomb after my wreck of a life?

 

[kk13]

This is where I am right now. I'm simply not doing any of my tasks. Soon I will have to tell superiors that I'm too depressed, I can't do anything.

Unless I'm dead. Then no worries. That's the thought that comforts me. But I know I'm not gonna pull it off. My lame little partial hanging setup will not end my life. But I tell myself it will.

Straight up irrational cowardly behavior. That's what I'm up to. I'm 99.9% likely to survive this. What am I going to do? Can I absorb another shame-bomb after my wreck of a life?

My hanging setup is solid but I can't get myself to do it yet everyday i wake up and hate myself for not going thru with it.
I haven't done shit since January. If my parents find out which they will soon then idk what will happen they'll watch me 24/7

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

My hanging setup is solid but I can't get myself to do it yet everyday i wake up and hate myself for not going thru with it.
I haven't done shit since January. If my parents find out which they will soon then idk what will happen they'll watch me 24/7

I've confessed my hanging plans to my dad twice and gave him my rope both times. I bought more. A noose has been in my closet for weeks. I'm kind of surprised I'm not under more surveillance.

 

[astroproto]

I feel you. I returned to school just because, partly hoping to CTB after I graduate just to prove a moot point. But I can't even get my shit together with my awful work ethic and attention span, and I keep falling behind deadlines and unable to do my part well in group assignments.

If there was an easy way out, I'd probably take it in an instant. It's a win-win too since other people wouldn't have to put up with lackluster outputs and fruitless expectationis and I don't have to dread over responsibilities I can't do properly or even care about.

 

[kk13]

I feel you. I returned to school just because, partly hoping to CTB after I graduate just to prove a moot point. But I can't even get my shit together with my awful work ethic and attention span, and I keep falling behind deadlines and unable to do my part well in group assignments.

If there was an easy way out, I'd probably take it in an instant. It's a win-win too since other people wouldn't have to put up with lackluster outputs and fruitless expectationis and I don't have to dread over responsibilities I can't do properly or even care about.

This is my exact situation and since im not able to do assignments i just end up not going to classes. If i have low attendance they wont let me sit for exams and my attendance is on the borderline. My group members are definitely sick of me. I haven't done shit all semester.

I've confessed my hanging plans to my dad twice and gave him my rope both times. I bought more. A noose has been in my closet for weeks. I'm kind of surprised I'm not under more surveillance.

If u dont mind me asking, why did u give him the rope? I have had urges to confess too. When i was dead set on jumping and almost over the railing all i wanted to do was go to my mom. But ik that i dont want to be alive and if i go to her my plans would be ruined. And she did find out what i tried to do. And she took my rope but i found out where she kept it .