Negative experience with long term micro-dosing

[EndlessPhanpy]

Hiya!

Would be very grateful for some advice, especially from anyone has experience with micro-dosing or other forms of self-medicating long term.

To give a little background, I started micro dosing LSD ~2 years ago. At first it was off and on, I was inconsistent and always forgot or didn't have the energy or will to continue taking it. Overtime though, my dosing got a lot better and I was managing to maintain a consistent schedule, take care of myself, meditate etc. I kept my momentum from there, and I got to the point after about 6 months where I was getting outside everyday, exercising regularly, was meeting new people, and even managed to get a job that doesn't make me hate myself. I felt like micro-dosing gave me the little kick I needed, and then my newly discovered self esteem and desire to get better carried me from there. Even though I couldn't say I was fulfilled or happy most days, I had a level of underlying contentment that allowed me to keep going, and for the first time in over a decade I was looking forward to things and get myself out of the hole I had spent most of my life digging.

However, the last half a year or so haven't been great to say the least. Nothing in particular seems to have triggered it, but now I'm only getting negative effects(same sheet of acid as I've been taking for a long while with virtually no negative effects, so wouldn't be the source)
For now I've stopped taking it altogether. Although it still improves my mood, I find it significantly impairs my memory, it's hard to follow a train of thought to the end, it causes me to stutter and spaghetti my words everywhere, and makes it really difficult to do my work. I don't want to be too revealing about what I do, but I work with code and also have interface with other people, so essentially I'm having to pick between a slight mood boost or being able to function as my job isn't something I can do impaired. Every time I do end up taking LSD again, the impact seems to either be a lot worse than the last, or I don't take enough to have any noticeable effect at all... there seems to be no in between. I imagine a lot of it is psychosomatic, but even if I can recognize that I don't know how that helps my situation.

It feels like I'm just losing more and more ground everyday, and I'm slowly slipping back into toxic and self sabotaging habits. As much as I try to fight it, it only takes one bad night to ruin months of effort.

I have already lost all of my friends by either distancing myself, or if that doesn't work being intentionally hurtful or annoying. I've given away a lot of the money I've been trying to save up to strangers/causes on the internet. I've stopped going outside, interacting with others in a meaningful way, exercising, sleeping consistently, doing well at work. etc. etc. I don't want to rant too much, I'm just wanting to list some of the negative consequence affecting people I care about and my own life. I'm hoping my reasoning/mental state is somewhat easy to follow and gets my point across.

So what can I do? LSD is seemingly something that worked very well which for a long time had little to no downsides. Is there anything that might be causing this, or can I potentially reverse things back to how they were?
As an alternative, I've tried shrooms. I've always preferred micro-dosing acid as it's easier for me to source/store/dose. Also, I have tried shrooms recently, but they seem to also just give me a similar negative effect now.
I have other drugs that I haven't tried in a long time, but can also get such as Ketamine/mdma that I've heard of people micro-dosing, but haven't heard too much about their effectiveness or any negative side affects.
There's also 'prescribed' amphetamines such as Ritalin/Adderal, but that only seems to work really well short term for me as well.

Would be very grateful to hear any opinions/stories/advice. Didn't mean to write a mini essay, especially for my first post on here(already cut a lot out ) so thanks for reading if you've got to this point. I just currently feel lost and I am looking for hope as I don't want to give into despair again just yet x

 

[timf]

You might try mushrooms. I found that they were less "speedy" than LSD. At low levels, they might not have the same harsh effect.

 

[NumbItAll]

Hmm I'm not well-versed with LSD, but I did try microdosing shrooms for a few months. At first I got a huge lift, followed by bouts of heavy depression and weirdness, culminating in new insights and a sort of mental reset. More recently it's been mostly just the negative stuff and doesn't seem worth it anymore, so I'm going to stop taking it for the foreseeable future. My thinking is that maybe psychedelics can help rewire your brain in useful ways, but then once that's done they lose their utility and all that's left is the psychedelic weirdness (which some people like anyway). It's just my speculation though. I think taking an extended break is a good idea if it's causing you problems now. What is the longest break you've taken from it?

 

[EndlessPhanpy]

You might try mushrooms. I found that they were less "speedy" than LSD. At low levels, they might not have the same harsh effect.

I've been considering trying shroom micro-doses long term. Only problem is that it's sketchy sourcing them and it's a lot more expensive for me than LSD.

Hmm I'm not well-versed with LSD, but I did try microdosing shrooms for a few months. At first I got a huge lift, followed by bouts of heavy depression and weirdness, culminating in new insights and a sort of mental reset. More recently it's been mostly just the negative stuff and doesn't seem worth it anymore, so I'm going to stop taking it for the foreseeable future. My thinking is that maybe psychedelics can help rewire your brain in useful ways, but then once that's done they lose their utility and all that's left is the psychedelic weirdness (which some people like anyway). It's just my speculation though. I think taking an extended break is a good idea if it's causing you problems now. What is the longest break you've taken from it?

The whole re-wiring of the brain is cool, right? From my experience it seems to be temporary and I slip back into my old way of thinking and perceiving the world around me somewhat quickly so the fact it's not working for me anymore has been somewhat distressing at times. It's smart that you've taken the positive from it and are choosing to stop taking it once it starts bringing negativity into your life, and I hope any good insights you've taken from the experience stick with you.
Psychedelics do have ups and downs, although for me small doses often come with an underlying feeling of contentment. Even with a bad experience, I go through pretty long periods of apathy so negative emotions are preferable to that a lot of the time.
Usually with micro-dosing, I aim for an almost imperceptible affect instead of getting that "trippy" feeling, so it might be worth trying a much smaller dose than you have been to the point you barely even notice it if you decide to use them again.
Longest I've gone for a full break is about 3 months at the moment I think? Lately I've been having a lot of memory related issues so it's hard to tell how long to be honest . Hopefully in the future I'll be able to find some way of moving forward again drugs or not.

 

[fell]

Hi! I have had a similar experience as you :) I microdosed LSD for a similar time, and while it had a mood-boosting, energizing, and creative quality to it at first, my mind began to feel a bit more disorganized and hard to remember and concentrate on things over time. I decided to discontinue, as the initial benefits to my life and work were no longer happening, and it started to feel more chaotic and confusing overall.

I love the concept of rewiring the brain, and research is definitely showing that psychedelics and other substances can do that, which is so amazing! I've wondered if microdosing with the intention of solely focusing on personal growth would help. For instance, dosing and then journaling, meditating, listening to affirmations or positive music. I've done this with both shrooms and ketamine, and it's seemed to help me - though like you also said, the effects seem to be short term and discontinue after use.

I recently started learning more about ketamine IV therapy to help rewire the brain, and went to a specialist to learn more (though haven't done it yet). Since I've done ketamine before, I figured it wouldn't really have an effect, but I was surprised to learn that it's actually the dose and frequency of IV ketamine that helps the long-lasting effect. So, while I've done K in large doses here and there, and microdosed K nightly as well, doing either is like giving your brain a "jump start", but it's not enough of a dose at a regular enough frequency to fully complete the rewiring connections.

The specialist explained it like, the full dose at an initial regular frequency completes the connection. It's like, if each dose fills up your phone by 10%, 10%, 10% until you reach 100% - and then you just need a "touch up" to recharge the phone from 50% to 100% every few months. So, they explained that's why microdosing (even clinically through a program like Joyous) is like just putting your battery up to 10% or less every day - it loses juice a lot faster because the connection doesn't get a full charge.

I wonder if a few macrodoses or considering an alternative like ketamine therapy might help to give the longer term effect you're looking for? Hope this helps! :)

 

[EndlessPhanpy]

Hi! I have had a similar experience as you :) I microdosed LSD for a similar time, and while it had a mood-boosting, energizing, and creative quality to it at first, my mind began to feel a bit more disorganized and hard to remember and concentrate on things over time. I decided to discontinue, as the initial benefits to my life and work were no longer happening, and it started to feel more chaotic and confusing overall.

I love the concept of rewiring the brain, and research is definitely showing that psychedelics and other substances can do that, which is so amazing! I've wondered if microdosing with the intention of solely focusing on personal growth would help. For instance, dosing and then journaling, meditating, listening to affirmations or positive music. I've done this with both shrooms and ketamine, and it's seemed to help me - though like you also said, the effects seem to be short term and discontinue after use.

I recently started learning more about ketamine IV therapy to help rewire the brain, and went to a specialist to learn more (though haven't done it yet). Since I've done ketamine before, I figured it wouldn't really have an effect, but I was surprised to learn that it's actually the dose and frequency of IV ketamine that helps the long-lasting effect. So, while I've done K in large doses here and there, and microdosed K nightly as well, doing either is like giving your brain a "jump start", but it's not enough of a dose at a regular enough frequency to fully complete the rewiring connections.

The specialist explained it like, the full dose at an initial regular frequency completes the connection. It's like, if each dose fills up your phone by 10%, 10%, 10% until you reach 100% - and then you just need a "touch up" to recharge the phone from 50% to 100% every few months. So, they explained that's why microdosing (even clinically through a program like Joyous) is like just putting your battery up to 10% or less every day - it loses juice a lot faster because the connection doesn't get a full charge.

I wonder if a few macrodoses or considering an alternative like ketamine therapy might help to give the longer term effect you're looking for? Hope this helps! :)

Thanks for sharing your experience, it makes me really glad I decided to make a post in the first place. What you've described about micro-dosing sounds just like what I'm currently going through. I also think discontinuing for the time being is the best way forward, as I don't want to keep pushing something that now feels potentially damaging to my state of mind.

I had a lot of success progressing with more ego-related activities and improving based on things I believed society would want me to be, but also wish I had tried some of the things you mentioned such as meditation and journaling, as potentially I've missed out on what was possible an opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of myself during the time I was micro-dosing. I have gone through periods of meditation/journaling etc. but never really committed or followed a consistent schedule with them.

I've heard about ketamine therapy before, but haven't looked into it too much. The therapy and legal acquisition of Ketamine itself not something that's available in my country, but I have fairly easy access to S-Ketamine. From what I've read, Ketamine in a therapeutic setting is usually administered via IV like you mentioned, and you are also usually accompanied by a therapist to guide your session. I don't have anyone I could talk to while taking it, but I might experiment with doses and try online guided therapy, music, or meditation. I haven't been able to find a lot of in depth diy guides for this from a quick google search, but hopefully it's something I could find out with a bit more research.

In terms of macrodoses, I think I'm done trying stuff like that. I've never specifically macrodosed ketamine or k-holed, but with something like LSD I've had a few negative experiences that also came with quite a stretch of HPPD. For context, the largest trip I've had was just over 1000μg of LSD and honestly I became quite violent/destructive(discovered after the fact) so it was lucky that I had that experience in a remote location. Also in general I don't remember a lot about large LSD trips, the only time I seem to remember is whenever I next decide to trip and it all comes flooding back in, it's almost like my sober brain can't process the memories. Last couple of times I've tripped I get to where I started feeling the come up and instantly throw up everywhere, so potentially there's some trauma there causing that. These experiences have also seemed to completely destroy other drugs such as weed which I now experience a lot of psychotic symptoms while taking(probably not a good idea to keep pushing it as there is family history of psychosis ).
Shrooms, I've had really memorable and good experiences on, but I've never had a trip where I didn't ruin the experience a bit by throwing up(tried tea, taking with apple sauce, trying to just get psylocin with lemon juice etc.)

Thanks for the suggestions, I think I'm actually going to try dosing ketamine next. I like the battery analogy and it sounds like something I would be looking for :3. If you ever get further with Ketamine therapy it would be awesome to hear your experience with it, positive or negative.

 

[katagiri83]

Shrooms, I've had really memorable and good experiences on, but I've never had a trip where I didn't ruin the experience a bit by throwing up(tried tea, taking with apple sauce, trying to just get psylocin with lemon juice etc.)

Psilocybin infused honey could help. Using capsules could be another method for micro-dosing psilocybin.