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Night_Crew

Member
Oct 23, 2021
41
Hello Everyone. For the last few years I have been chronically struggling, often on a minute-to-minute basis with trying to convince myself I am not a bad person. I know I have a relatively good job (but nothing else) - something that involves management of national services for bereaved children and young people.

However, I cannot see myself as having anything else to offer and am always overwhelming ashamed and feel guilt following a period of self-destructive behaviour due to a relationship end.

How do others stop counteracting any potential positive thought/action?
 
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GrumpyFrog

GrumpyFrog

Exhausted
Aug 23, 2020
1,913
Sorry you're dealing with this, sounds like you are very hard on yourself. I struggled with similar persistent negative thoughts in the past. For me the trick was to stop trying to argue with myself and attempt to counter every negative thought, and instead simply to divert my attention away from the thoughts when they became bad.
 
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Night_Crew

Member
Oct 23, 2021
41
Thank you. Can I ask what you diverted thoughts towards if not too personal?
 
batcountry

batcountry

Member
Mar 22, 2022
22
I don't know the details of your situation, but I really struggle with guilt and shame for a lot of horrible mistakes I've made. My therapist told me to pretty much make a mantra out of the phrase "I did the best I could given the circumstances." I write it a few times a day and try to keep it in mind when I get overwhelmed by self-loathing. I wouldn't say it's fixed my problems or anything but I guess I'm making progress towards hating myself a little less because it is true, I know logically that it is true even if it doesn't feel like it now. Again not sure if this will help but I do hope you're able to find a way to cope with your thoughts, it really is so difficult to deal with and I am sorry you're going through this.
 
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