Rotten thing
Member
- Nov 14, 2019
- 34
As the title says I just feel the need to scream what happened to me where I won't be judged.
So here it goes.
My childhood is fit for a kid raised in a concentration camp. From as young as I can remember I was abused. My mum was obssessed that I might have physical relationships out of wedding lock so she took matters into her hands to make sure I never do it.
She would severely beat me up using whatever she can get. She would slap my face so hard that it would turn blue in few hours and would try to treat it quickly fearing my dad sees me in such a state. Her violence agaist me never seemed to lessen with time. She would hold a lit candle and let it drip over my private parts. Then she would also get a sewing needle and keeps poking me . I would scream from pain but she would just threaten me that she would make everyone hate me and stop them from playing with me if I don't stop screaming, playing with other kids was important to the five year old me
. Another time she would put powder cayenne pepper into my private part. It was usual to have marks all over my body from being beaten with a belt. She would beat me till I fall asleep from being tired and then hit again with the belt to wake me up. Years of abuse go by where I'm constantly threatned that my dad will kill me and God will send me to hell. At 12 she decided that I must get a FGM to make sure I stay virtuous. She wanted to get a nurse and get this over with at home but I managed to convince her to let get me have it at gynecologist office and she did. I spent days in agony beacuse I couldn't urinate from pain. Just 4 days after the procedsure at the strike of midnight I began bleeding. I was scared and worried and in pain so I was screaming but my dad shouted at me to stop for fear of inconvinence my screams would cause our neighbours! So I, as trained, stopped screaming. Now in my twenties I opened up to mum about how she had a hand in F**king up my life. She simply said "maybe I was a bit harsh. Maybe I was wrong."
My dad was no better. He used to beat everyone up just because he can and he loves to feel powerful. He used to beat me and my brother up quite often. He would just do whatever he can to humiliate us all. Once he slapped my face with his shoes just because I disagreed with him on something, I was 18. Another time he got his shoe and told me to beat myself on the face and I did it repeatedly while having a meltdown. Years later as this shit caught up to me physically and emtionally I would have break downs. Once I stopped eating and drinking water for about two days and overdosed on coughing syrup just to get some sleep. I fainted and kept sobbing for hours. When he tried to talk to me, I asked him to leave alone. In one minute, he started beating me then I was pulled me from the sofa and thrown to the floor. He would always do this to me and comes in few hours to hug me and act like everything is cool and I have to act the same otherwise I would be beaten again. There was a time when he said that hugging me tight turns him on. He still hugs and kisses me goodnight almost every day and I'm 25 yet he never does the same to my younger sister who is 15. He did this and much more stuff that I just try to forget act like I forgot them.
He has also abused mum, still does, in every way imaginable. He used to beat mum that she still suffers even after years. Just two days after their wedding he beat her up and theatened her that he spread would rumors about her that might get her killed.
That was a short summary of my entire life.
So here it goes.
My childhood is fit for a kid raised in a concentration camp. From as young as I can remember I was abused. My mum was obssessed that I might have physical relationships out of wedding lock so she took matters into her hands to make sure I never do it.
She would severely beat me up using whatever she can get. She would slap my face so hard that it would turn blue in few hours and would try to treat it quickly fearing my dad sees me in such a state. Her violence agaist me never seemed to lessen with time. She would hold a lit candle and let it drip over my private parts. Then she would also get a sewing needle and keeps poking me . I would scream from pain but she would just threaten me that she would make everyone hate me and stop them from playing with me if I don't stop screaming, playing with other kids was important to the five year old me
. Another time she would put powder cayenne pepper into my private part. It was usual to have marks all over my body from being beaten with a belt. She would beat me till I fall asleep from being tired and then hit again with the belt to wake me up. Years of abuse go by where I'm constantly threatned that my dad will kill me and God will send me to hell. At 12 she decided that I must get a FGM to make sure I stay virtuous. She wanted to get a nurse and get this over with at home but I managed to convince her to let get me have it at gynecologist office and she did. I spent days in agony beacuse I couldn't urinate from pain. Just 4 days after the procedsure at the strike of midnight I began bleeding. I was scared and worried and in pain so I was screaming but my dad shouted at me to stop for fear of inconvinence my screams would cause our neighbours! So I, as trained, stopped screaming. Now in my twenties I opened up to mum about how she had a hand in F**king up my life. She simply said "maybe I was a bit harsh. Maybe I was wrong." My dad was no better. He used to beat everyone up just because he can and he loves to feel powerful. He used to beat me and my brother up quite often. He would just do whatever he can to humiliate us all. Once he slapped my face with his shoes just because I disagreed with him on something, I was 18. Another time he got his shoe and told me to beat myself on the face and I did it repeatedly while having a meltdown. Years later as this shit caught up to me physically and emtionally I would have break downs. Once I stopped eating and drinking water for about two days and overdosed on coughing syrup just to get some sleep. I fainted and kept sobbing for hours. When he tried to talk to me, I asked him to leave alone. In one minute, he started beating me then I was pulled me from the sofa and thrown to the floor. He would always do this to me and comes in few hours to hug me and act like everything is cool and I have to act the same otherwise I would be beaten again. There was a time when he said that hugging me tight turns him on. He still hugs and kisses me goodnight almost every day and I'm 25 yet he never does the same to my younger sister who is 15. He did this and much more stuff that I just try to forget act like I forgot them.
He has also abused mum, still does, in every way imaginable. He used to beat mum that she still suffers even after years. Just two days after their wedding he beat her up and theatened her that he spread would rumors about her that might get her killed.
That was a short summary of my entire life.
