T
timetodie24
Elementalist
- Apr 14, 2023
- 848
feel ready for ctb. It's over a year from my last attempt (it was a pathetic attempt before I properly researched methods) as wanted to make sure this time I was fully prepared, planned and making this my final one and successful.
The only thing stopping me is the rules. I was supposed to ctb last October but (long story) I didn't. So that messed up the system. I'm living when im supposed to be dead so now my loves ones are at risk and could die instead of me. So I have to follow rules, use codes and self-harm to protect them from getting ill and injured. Then eventually ctb before one of them dies in my place. So I'm waiting for the code and message that tells me my ctb date. If I get it wrong, someone I care about will die. So I have to wait but im really sick of life. wish I could get it over with but it will put others at risk. people are out to get me in mean time .
The only thing stopping me is the rules. I was supposed to ctb last October but (long story) I didn't. So that messed up the system. I'm living when im supposed to be dead so now my loves ones are at risk and could die instead of me. So I have to follow rules, use codes and self-harm to protect them from getting ill and injured. Then eventually ctb before one of them dies in my place. So I'm waiting for the code and message that tells me my ctb date. If I get it wrong, someone I care about will die. So I have to wait but im really sick of life. wish I could get it over with but it will put others at risk. people are out to get me in mean time .